Monthly Archives: October 2012

Surround yourself with positive, motivating people

25 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by in Positivity, Shades of Grey

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You know that feeling when you spend time with somebody or you are talking to them on the phone, or even reading their Facebook status and afterwards, you just feel exhausted and drained?
Negative people have the ability to drain you.
It is like they literally suck your energy away from you.

For those of you who have watched (or even better) read Harry Potter will be very familiar with the dementor. If you are not sure what a dementor is, here is a quote from Harry Potter:
“Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them… Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself…soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.”
—Remus Lupin to Harry Potter

So, of course we know that this is just a story and there are no such things as dementors… Or are there?
Sometimes it seems that the very people that we spend time with, our family, our friends, our work colleagues, could be just like dementors. Their negativity and constant abuse or neglect or destructive behaviour leaves you feeling exhausted, like the good is sucked out of you.
It’s quite a scary thought but one that we deal with often enough for it to become a major stressor in our lives.
Let’s turn it around and imagine the power of spending time with people who are positive, motivating and uplifting. They would be the opposite of dementors because they will leave you feeling good and energised.

So what are you doing with dementors in your life?
Let them go! Choose not to let them affect you!
They are negative because of their own issues so don’t allow them to make those issues into your problem.
You are worth so much more than that and you deserve to be loved and respected.
Demand that for yourself!

Welcome!

24 Wednesday Oct 2012

Posted by in Relaxation

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So, to all my new readers, welcome to my blog!

Today is my official launch day (whistles blowing, confetti falling and champagne corks popping) and to those of you who found me here before official launch day – well done! You are truly worthy explorers.

My aim is fame and fortune followed by world domination (only kidding!) – my real dream would be that it would get to the stage where nobody actually needed my services because everyone was managing their stress so well on their own.  But since that is not going to happen in a long, long time – here I am, on your computer or mobile device to help you through.

Pull up a chair, relax, bake a cake and let me know what you think.  Sign up, sign in, join my Facebook group, follow me on twitter.  It is great to have you here!

Amazing carrot cake – true comfort food!

23 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by in Food for the soul, Recipes

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I have a confession to make: *whispers* I don’t actually love chocolate cake or chocolate but I have a very willing crew of tasters on my side.

What I do love more than anything else is a good carrot cake. So here is my ultimate recipe for the good stuff.

The great thing about carrot cake (well, in my humble opinion) is that it is very forgiving, you can add or take out ingredients as you like

Turn oven onto 180C/375F

2 cups flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

¼ teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons cinnamon (use according to taste, a bit of nutmeg doesn’t do any harm either)

– Sift all the above into a bowl

In another bowl combine:

3 eggs

¾ cup yoghurt (I use low fat Greek yoghurt)

¾ cup sunflower or canola oil

1 ½ cups brown sugar (or white if you don’t have brown)

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Mix well and then combine into the flour mixture

Now in another bowl (at this stage you may need to bribe somebody to do the washing up!) add:

2 cups grated carrot (I like them coarsely grated but if you find large bits of carrot in your carrot cake offensive, then grate it finely)

1 cup (yes!) flaked or shredded or desiccated coconut

1 cup chopped walnuts (this is where the stress management comes in because I just take a rolling pin and beat the living daylights out of the poor nuts)

¾  cup or more if you want raisins or sultanas or dried cranberries (are you getting the idea now?)

Juice from one orange (or just throw some juice of your choice into the mix – enough to stick it all together)

Now, fold this into the batter and mix it well (builds a bit of muscle I think)

Pour into a prepared pan and bake for about one hour

You will note that I don’t ice (frost) my cake because I like it as it is but I won’t stop you from doing it to your own cake!

Have your cake and eat it

Meditation vs Analysis

18 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by in Creativity, Mindfulness, Relaxation, Shades of Grey

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Meditation is said to be really good for you for a number of reasons. One being that it can increase your ability to focus on mindfulness (focusing on the present rather than worry about the past or the future). Another good reason to meditate is that has been proven to improve physical as well as mental health including reducing blood pressure, calming you and improving your immune system.
Well that is quite a lovely thing. Only one problem (actually probably a lot more than one, but I’ll deal with the one that I encounter the most often). Type A personalities typically battle to meditate because they have problems with allowing their minds to slow down.They are also very analytical people and deal with problems by analysing them rather than just letting them be. They will even analyse why they can’t relax.

Now for the good news: research has shown that when someone is doing something creative, from drawing, painting and pottery to poetry, knitting and baking, their brain waves are the same as somebody’s who is meditating.In other words being creative has the same physical and emotional benefits as meditating does. Well that is brilliant news for someone like me who would rather be doodling than “om-ing”.The more analytical you are, the more you worry, the more you feel stressed.Today, choose to do something creative rather than analytical. This may mean that you have to step a bit (or a lot) out of your comfort zone.

Today I did a group session where we created journals and used collage technique to make the covers. For some people, it was difficult to get started. They got overwhelmed by the task and some people were just scared to even try because of fear of failure. They told me things like “I’m not creative” or “The last time I did this was in junior school). But once they started, they didn’t want to stop. And the journals that they created were beautiful which surprised some of them!

Try it yourself. Get out of your head for a little while and just let your hands work for you.Even if you are not sure what you’re doing.

Just try it! You may just be surprised at how relaxed you become!

Stop to smell the roses

15 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by in Mindfulness, Shades of Grey

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We are constantly being bombarded with questions like “what are your goals?” “where do you see yourself in two years time?”
“where are you going?” “what are your plans?” and something that I learned from my husband “what are your deliverables?”
Truthfully, I don’t even know what deliverables are, and it’s probably a good thing that I don’t work  in the corporate world!
Does anyone ever ask you if you’re happy now, or for that matter, do you ever ask yourself if you are happy now.
Because we are so focused on the future and where we might be going, and how potentially scary that future is that we forget to stop and focus on where we are now.
We forget to pause and just be, just to enjoy the moment that we’re in.
There are absolutely no guarantees for the future.  So why are we waiting for the future in order to be happy?
We are waiting to be richer or older or wiser.
Who says that we can’t be rich or wise now (I’m not really interested in the older part). We are rich in love, or family, in passion or in spirit.  We are wise because we have experienced so many more things than a lot of people have in our lifetimes.
And every single moment, for every single step that you take (whether it is backward or forward, but we’ll deal with that in a later post)  we are learning and growing.
Don’t forget to stop and enjoy that moment because it is all about you and the person that you are becoming.
And you are amazing!

Make time for relaxation

12 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by in Relaxation, Shades of Grey

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I am sitting at a restaurant with my kids having a (partly) leisurely lunch with my kids on a Thursday afternoon. Why? Because I can!
After a very stressful morning at work, the last thing I feel like doing is working. And even though I have deadlines looming closer, I know that forcing myself to work when I am already stressed and overworked is not going to be productive.
So that leads me to part 4 of finding the grey – making time for relaxation.
In our busy, stressful lives we forget that relaxation is not only important but is actually a necessity for our sanity.
You are not going to achieve anything if you burn out because you don’t think that relaxation is part of working. And the brilliant companies out there realise this. They value creating time and space for their employees to relax because they understand that a happy, relaxed employee is going to be more productive, take less sick leave and be more loyal to the company.
Yes, I can sense most of you rolling your eyes because the only reason you are reading this blog is because your job is so stressful and your company is so uncaring.
So that leaves the responsibility of relaxation time up to you! Sorry, but it does.
Find time in your day for relaxation – in the beginning it may seem impossible but if you get into the habit of making time to relax, it gets easier.
Try deep breathing exercises at your desk; start a yoga or stretching group at lunch time;  take a 10 minute walk during your tea break;  meet somebody for a chat about non-work related issues; eat energising food for lunch; take a 5 minute relaxation session away from your desk.
Unchain those invisible chains that bind you to your desk or your computer or those piles of paperwork.  Not taking a break is not going to get it done, it is going to take you longer to get it done!
Think about your plan for relaxation over the weekend and then on Monday – start getting your relaxation time sorted and watch how things improve.
You deserve a break – take it!

Very lemony cake (for the vitamin C – of course!)

10 Wednesday Oct 2012

Posted by in Food for the soul, Recipes

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  1.  Sift 1 ½ cups of flour into a bowl with ¾ cup of sugar, 2 tsps of baking powder and a good pinch of salt
  2.   Add ½ cup of desiccated coconut
  3. Add 2 beaten eggs, 1tsp vanilla essence, 125g softened (really soft) or melted butter
  4. Squeeze one lemon and add water or milk to make it up to ½ cup and pour into the mixture
  5. Grate the zest of the lemon into the mixture and mix well
  6. Pour into a baking tin and
  7. Bake at 180C for 45 minutes
  8. While the cake is baking, in a medium saucepan combine 125g sugar and 125ml water. (I add a few drops of lemon essence to the pot) Bring to the boil, stirring, until sugar has dissolved – do not, I repeat, do not leave the syrup to boil on its own unless you like the idea of a mini volcano in your kitchen. Allow to cool.
  9. As soon as your cake is ready, take it out of the oven and pour the cooled syrup over the cake.
  10. Wait for it to cool down and eat with a smile and of course a good cup of tea!

Be kind to yourself

10 Wednesday Oct 2012

Posted by in Shades of Grey

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We live in such a competitive world that I think that, unfortunately, compliments are rare.
Everyone is so self absorbed or so selfish that they are quite unlikely to stop and tell you how well you are doing, or thank you for something that you did for them.
Stop waiting for somebody else to do something for you, or to notice you.
Notice yourself, compliment yourself.
You are so worthy of praise, so don’t wait around for someone else to give to you.
You may be waiting for too long.
Being kind to yourself doesn’t necessarily give you permission to go on an expensive shopping spree (OK, maybe it does). Being kind to yourself means recognising the amazing things that you are achieving everyday. Even if it is in tiny little baby steps forward. It is still stepping forwards, in the right direction, and nobody else might recognise this except for you.
If you are going through a rough time, give yourself time and space to heal. You don’t need to be in a good space everyday. There are times when life is not going to feel like it is treating you well. So it’s not treating you well, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t treat you well.
There is no reward for pushing yourself too hard.
When you learn to give yourself space, reward yourself, compliment yourself, you will feel so much better about you!
Yay you! Just keep moving forward, you are doing great.

Don’t see success as something material

05 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by in Shades of Grey

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We live in a very material and very media orientated world.
This teaches us to think that success is only about fame, fortune and financial gain.
And if we look at the world like that all the time, and we are not rich and famous and nobody knows who we are, and we don’t have thousands of friends on Facebook, we don’t wear branded clothing, we don’t drive the newest model of flashy car or use the latest cellphone to chat to those thousands of friends then obviously, we fail!
But by thinking that way, you don’t give yourself the opportunity to look at how successful you really are.
Everyday that you get out of bed and smile, you’re successful. Everyday that you turn up at work when your instinct is to run away, you are successful. Every time you  choose not to lose your temper, or to keep quiet when you want to scream, you are successful.
You can be so successful if you work at being you.
There are always going to be people who seem more successful, happier and richer. Instead of hating them or being jealous of them or spending energy wishing it was you, or even worse, spending time resenting that person, look inwards and work on you. Be true to you. Be genuine. Smile. Enjoy and celebrate the small things.
You are already a success, just keep moving forward and you will shine!

Chocolate Brownies

04 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by in Chocolate yeah!, Food for the soul, Recipes

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Previously a secret recipe but I am sharing it only because chocolate is so good for you!Andi’s chocolate brownies

  1. Place 1 ½ cups of sugar, 200g melted chocolate (I like to use 85% – but that’s just me), 1 cup sunflower or canola oil, vanilla essence (how ever much feels right, about one teaspoon or so) and 4 eggs into a bowl
  2. Whisk well to combine
  3. Add 1 ¾ cups of flour and 1 teaspoon of baking powder to the mixture and mix well to combine
  4. Pour mixture into a greased tin and bake at 180 C for about 40 minutes (you want to take them out when they look a little underdone for that important chewy factor)
  5. Let them cool and cut into squares (big squares if you are being generous, smaller if you want them to last a little longer)
  6. Do not let your husband/ partner/ wife/ kids into the kitchen when you are cutting the brownies because they are sure to demand the corner pieces (just to keep it neat, you know) and then they’ll want more and before you know it, you will need to bake a whole new batch.  Tip: rather let them lick the bowl!