Monthly Archives: January 2013

A new kind of list

24 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in Attitude, Chocolate yeah!, Lists, Positivity, Relaxation

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I am always going on about lists.
Some people even call me the queen of lists.
But most of my lists are to do lists and bucket lists. Lists of things that I still want to achieve or things that need to be done ASAP or I have to face the consequences, which are usually sleepless nights thinking about how much I have to do.
Well, this week I decided to do a different kind of list. Not only a list of things that I have done but of all the things that I have learned this week when I opened my eyes (and my mind) wide enough to notice them.

So here is my list so far, and it is definitely a work in progress:

  • If Japanese tourists want to take a picture of you doing mundane tasks, like driving, just smile and wave.
  • People prefer chocolate cake recipes to advice on how to cope with stress. And some people love eating chocolate cake more than talking about their problems.  So obviously chocolate could just be the answer to a lot of the world’s problems!
  • What seems terrible one day, might not feel that bad the next day.
  • Reflexology fixes a lot of problems.
  • Not everyone sees the world the same way that you do and it is not worth getting upset about it. People will do what they want to do. And there is not a lot that you can do about it.
  • Getting enough sleep is important but it is not worth obsessing about it.
  • Talk to strangers, you never know what no ideas you can learn from them (yes, I know that your parents probably told you not to talk to strangers but hopefully you’re old enough to know the difference.)
  • Lavender oil fixes a lot of problems.
  • Sometimes the people who you think are meant to give you the most support don’t and the people that you least expect it from do. There is no perfect ideal for who should care the most for you.
  • Smile! It makes all the difference.

Now make your own list for this week.
Even better, buy or make your own lessons learned journal. It might end up being an amazing keepsake or something that you can pass down to the next generation.
Whatever happens, if you get into the habit of doing this exercise, you will start to see the world in a different light.
And you can make it a good one!

Killer cake

21 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by in Chocolate yeah!, Food for the soul, HIV, Recipes

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The wonderful Sile told me about a Bar One cake and of course I had to come up with a recipe. Not only that, but I had to get a committed group of tasters (which is not that difficult to do actually). For those of you who are unfortunate enough not to know what a Bar One is, it is a nougat and caramel filled chocolate (I guess that Mars Bar is similar?).

This is a chocolate cake with a caramel fudge layer in the middle and topped with a Bar One topping – if you live in a Bar One-less country, please come up with your own topping (and let me know what you used).

baking 007

Well, bless Sile who has survived HIV for 10 years (and counting) but claims that this cake sent her straight to heaven – and I really don’t want to kill her, but this became the “killer cake”. And the woman is still crazy enough to want to sky dive with me!

Cake

  • 1 cup margarine
  • ½ cup cocoa
  • 1 cup water
  • 1 ¾ cups self raising flour
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 ½ cups sugar
  • 200 ml milk
  • 5 ml caramel essence (vanilla if you don’t keep caramel on hand like I do)

Preheat oven to 180°C

Melt margarine and then add the cocoa and water and heat until warm, set aside.

Whisk together the eggs and sugar in a bowl

Add caramel essence, milk and flour to this

Now add the cocoa/margarine mix to this mixture and mix well

Pour into a prepared pan and bake for 60 minutes

Caramel fudge filling

  • 385g can of condensed milk
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 125g butter
  • ¼ cup  golden syrup
  • salt flakes

Put all the ingredients (except salt) into a saucepan and mix on a low heat until the butter and sugar have melted

Bring the mixture to a boil and then turn down to a simmer and stir continuously for about 15 minutes until the caramel is darker and thick (when it feels like the caramel is resisting your stirring) – I would suggest putting on some good music to keep you dancing and entertained during all the stirring because you cannot leave it alone

Add a bit of salt to taste (you can leave this out if you really don’t like the idea of salt in caramel – for me it is perfect)

Leave to cool

Topping

  • 150g Bar One (or Mars bar or some other caramel/fudge chocolate I guess)
  • 100g milk chocolate (I have to say this at this point, in South Africa, we don’t get 100g chocolate slabs – they stole 10g from us and now sell 90g slabs! – sorry, personal irritation)
  • 100ml cream

Melt all the ingredients together in a saucepan

Now, let’s put this baby together – once the cake is cool, cut it in half and spread the caramel layer on the bottom half and then top with the second half of cake.

Spread the topping over the cake.

baking 008

Now lick all the spoons and saucepans while you wait for the topping to set.

This cake takes time and love but it is so, so worth it and not that difficult to make with a bit of patience!

 

 

 

The green eyed monster

17 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in Attitude, Coping skills, Positivity

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This week something wonderful and unexpected happened to me.

It was not life changing or earth shattering but it was still wonderful and I wanted to shout from the rooftops and let everybody know about this wonderful thing.

But…

The green eyed monster stares back at you

The green eyed monster stares back at you

Not a minute later, did somebody find out about it and was already giving me the third degree about it, asking me all kinds of ridiculous questions. And that was just the beginning – and I guess this is where social networking can get complicated, because I could read things that people were saying about me.

So there I was, happy as anything with not many people sharing my happiness but rather having a good old gossip about why I should be so “lucky” or the worst question in the world, the question that we can very rarely answer – “why?”

Firstly – it had nothing to do with luck – I created the opportunity myself and while I never expected a reaction to what I did, I was thrilled that there was one.

Secondly, I have no control over other people – I did what I thought was right – what felt right to me – and I had no idea how anybody would react.

I basically got a full day’s version of jealousy in all shapes and forms.  The plain truth is that if I was in somebody else’s shoes, I would have been jealous of me too.  What is jealousy all about?  It is certainly not about you, it is all about the other person.  It brings about feelings of inadequacy, anxiety and self doubt in them.  Whenever we have negative feelings towards somebody else, it is always a reflection of ourselves – our own short comings and issues with ourselves.  And it is much easier to be angry and jealous than it is to look inward and ask ourselves what we can do to be a better person.

So many of you have negative, destructive, abusive people in your lives, and there is a good chance that the only reason that they are that way is because they are jealous of you or threatened by you.

And isn’t that great news for you?

If you can look beyond the negativity and back at yourself – at your strengths and your abilities that are threatening to that person, then you can start to feel really good about yourself.

And you will come to realise that you are honoured to have people who are jealous of you – because it is a sure sign that you are doing well.  Even better, that you are doing great.

Keep on being who you are and don’t let anybody else’s opinions of you matter.  Keep on being wonderful and individual!

You are great!

The two ingredient cake experiment

11 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by in Chocolate yeah!, Food for the soul, Recipes

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Ingredients?

The wonderful people at @Tastyones (please visit them) posted a recipe on twitter for a two ingredient cake and I very excitedly volunteered to make it and report on it (well, it has chocolate in it, so what’s not to like?). It originally comes from Kirby Cravings which is a brilliant place to visit too.  But me being who I am, I had to modify the recipe so here is my version:

Ingredients:

240g Nutella

4 eggs

My method:

Heat the Nutella to soften it (though in summer with the heat that we are currently experiencing, that is probably not necessary).  If you let it get too hot, let it cool down before using it.

Seperate the eggs and whisk the yolks until light.

Beat the whites until stiff (seems like I am always beating things!)

Now gently mix the Nutella into the yolks until well combined – but don’t beat this.

Gently fold the egg whites into this mixture (I did it in 4 batches) so that it is well mixed but still light and fluffy.

Pour into a prepared springform pan (the smallest that you have – this is not a huge cake) – the smallest one that I own is a 25cm one so I got quite a flat cake! Try to use a smaller one for a less pancake looking cake.

Bake at 175° C for about 25 minutes

Wait until the cake is cool before removing it and serve with ice cream and some chocolate sauce.

Would you like a slice?

Would you like a slice?

The verdict:

Husband: “This is not cake. Quite boring!”

Kids: “Absolutely delicious! Can we have some more?”

Me: I would definitely make it again as a dessert but for chocolate cake – I prefer the real deal – the one with a few more ingredients!

The best 2 ingredient version with Nutella - Take Nutella, add spoon, eat!

The best 2 ingredient version with Nutella – Take Nutella, add spoon, eat!

Give it a try and let me know what you think.

Say yes!

10 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in Attitude, Change, Life journey, Positivity

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Okay, so we’ve been happy new year-ish and filled with or without resolutions and now we move onto the next plan for 2013.

Say YES!

A lot of times we so NO to opportunities because we are afraid of what might happen, or how we will cope, or how our lives will change. So we don’t change.

That makes sense, don’t you think?  If we don’t have to change then we can manage our lives because we know exactly how our lives work and what is going to happen.

Lovely plan but totally wrong. The thing is that we have no guarantees that life won’t change for us whether we like it or not.  And if it doesn’t change and we do nothing proactive to change it, then life is going to be boring and uninteresting (insert yawn).

If you say yes to new opportunities, to new experiences, new friendships, new relationships and new paths, you may open up some amazing and exciting things that you never even knew that you could achieve.

yes!

Don’t say yes to everything!  Never say yes if you are feeling used or abused.  Never say yes because you think it is what somebody else wants to hear. And never say yes just to please somebody or because you think that it will make them happy without considering how it will make you feel.

And although you should try to be brave, you don’t need to say yes things that absolutely terrify you.  A friend of mine asked if I wanted to dive with sharks – without a cage. Simple answer: No, Thank you!

But this year, try to create new experiences for yourself, travel on the path less traveled.  Try things that you have always wanted to do.  Open new doors, create new pathways for yourself.

You can do this, you really can – and thanks and credit to Barak Obama, we can all shout out loud:

“Yes we can!”

On conquering your fears

03 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in Attitude, Fear, Life journey, Positivity, Self growth

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Somebody in my family, who shall remain nameless at present to protect his dignity, has been watching Plain Jane on TV – basically he is an adult male watching a programme that has a target audience of  teenage girls. So while I enjoy teasing him and giving him a hard time about it, I not so secretly love that programme too.

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, Plain Jane is a programme on MTV where a young woman who is quiet and has a low self esteem wants to date somebody that she is friends with. So enter the “fairy godmother” host who gives her a physical and psychological makeover and off she goes to her date, and we presume, her happy ever after (of course).

Who doesn’t enjoy a makeover story? The classic ugly duckling turns into a beautiful swan.

What I really like about the programme though is the way that they build up the girl’s confidence.  They do it by pushing her out of her comfort zone and making her do something that she finds scary or threatening.

Once she has achieved that, she feels able to conquer anything and the transformation in her personality is sometimes remarkable.

 

Now, this is my plan – it is the first week of 2013 and I said in my last post that we should forget about New Year’s resolutions. So what about choosing something that really scares you, and make a date with your fear this year.

Imagine how small and insignificant all your day to day stressors will feel when you have done something as big as conquering a fear.

The amazing thing about fear is that our fear is not actually about the fear, it is about the story behind the fear.  If you are afraid of heights, the fear is not so much about the height but rather about what you think might happen at a height – the story that you write for yourself.  My fear of heights is not about height, it is about the thought of falling from that height.

 

This year, choose to rewrite your story.

You can be brave, you can be strong.  You can be vulnerable, you can show your emotions, you can say NO!

You can do it – and please let me know how it goes. I’ll be making my plans for overcoming my fear of heights by sky diving – and don’t worry, you won’t miss a thing – I’ll document the whole process right here!