They say that time heals all wounds…
And that is so true.
But what nobody tells you though, is how long it takes for those wounds to heal.
And nobody tells you that you are going to feel like crap (sorry, but no other word describes it as well) for that most of that time.
And more importantly, nobody tells you that it is OK to feel terrible. To be sad, and miserable, and to feel sorry for yourself. That it is OK to be angry and frustrated and irritable.
You are not going to sleep, you are going to feel frightened, you won’t be able to concentrate. You won’t enjoy the things that you used to, or if you do enjoy them, you will feel guilty about it.
You won’t feel like eating, or you will eat too much of the wrong foods.
You will want to drown your sorrows in things that are not good for you.
And maybe you will even have very negative thoughts that will make you *in a whisper* want to harm yourself, you may think of dying, you may fantasize about killing or harming somebody else! And it feels so uncomfortable to say those things out loud because nobody wants to hear those things. They want to hear that you are going to be “fine” (ghastly word that it is).
And all the time, people are telling you things about “time healing all wounds” and “being strong”, and what about “there’s a silver lining on every cloud”? And my personal favourite “there’s a light at the end of every tunnel”. But when you are at the beginning of the tunnel, you have no idea how long it is or where the light is.
And you want to scream at them “Shut up! You don’t understand!”
And do you know what?
They don’t understand. Even if they’ve been through a similar situation to yours, they are not you and they don’t understand.
And because they don’t understand, you don’t have to listen to what they say. To their ideas of how you should cope or how long it should take you to feel better.
But please understand this: you don’t have to be strong. Part of allowing time to heal your wounds is to allow yourself to mourn, to be angry, to be stressed. To just be.
And one morning, you will wake up and feel a little better. And then a few days after that, you will feel even better. And then one day, in the not too distant future, you will not even believe how terrible you once felt.
Because now you are a survivor with a whole new story to tell and a whole new journey to explore!