Monthly Archives: March 2014

Silence in the dark

28 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by in Advice, Mindfulness

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Yesterday was just unbelievable.
At 9 in the morning a huge truck drove into the electricity pole near our house and knocked it down.  And that left us with no electricity for more than 12 hours.

It’s really not that bad having no power during the daylight hours (except for the lack of tea) but when night falls it is a different story.
My kids started to get panicky (probably related to withdrawals from their electronic devices). But there is an amazing sense of calm when there is just quiet in the neighbourhood. There is not much to do but just sit and think. And to have conversations with each other.  The kids had to think of creative ways to keep themselves busy.  Everyone in the neighbourhood was out in the road chatting and catching up first at sunset and then later we all gathered in the street in our pyjamas to watch the truck repairing the wires.
Eventually my cellphone battery died and since it couldn’t be recharged, I couldn’t receive any calls or messages and there was no disturbances.
And one of the best parts was that I didn’t have to cook!
By the time the power was restored, it was late into the night but somehow it seemed intrusive when the lights came on.

A friend of mine had a similar problem with lack of power a few weeks ago and the family decided to spend the evening playing board games.  They made a decision that once a week they would put down all of their phones and tablets, switch off all of the screens and sit together and play games.

I think that in a world that is so fast paced and technologically driven we are always busy, always in demand and we are in contact with so many people and making so many connections. Yet how many of those relationships are meaningful?
How often do you truly connect with those around you? Or are you too busy doing other things?
It is so worth it to have a few hours a week where you can truly connect.  Where you can do something meaningful.
Stop to read a book, watch the sunset, talk to your neighbour.
If we all committed ourselves to a few hours of quiet every week, I think that we would feel a lot less stressed.
Go ahead, try it!

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The need for happiness

21 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Mindfulness, Positivity

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Today is a holiday and I had told myself that no matter what, I was not going to work today.
That plan didn’t last very long because there was suddenly an emergency HIV intervention that I had to do, and then I thought that if I had to go to work, I might as well actually work.
I started my drive to work on unusually quiet streets having a good old moan that the streets being so quiet meant that I had to have been one of the only people in the entire city who was working.
Then I started to appreciate the quieter drive and I turned up the music (George Winston) and smiled.
Of course!
Aren’t I almost exactly in the middle of my 100 happy days project?
So, of course it wasn’t great to have to work on a holiday and I would have really enjoyed a lie-in this morning. But the roads were peaceful; the patients who thought that they were not going to see me for 3 days were grateful that I was there and the real bonus was that I didn’t have to do all the house work!

When I signed up for the 100 happy days project, they said that if you committed to the project, you would start to see things more positively and would therefore be more positive about life in general.
Is it working?
I definitely think it is. Even if I have to sometimes force myself to look beyond the stress just because I am thinking about what I am going to enter into my happy days journal.
Looking for what makes you happy just lifts the stress a bit. It makes you focus on the moment – it is not about ‘when will I be happy?’, or ‘what do I need to have in order to be happy?’ but rather ‘what do I have right now that is making me happy?’
It makes you truly grateful for what you have rather than just yearning for what you want.
And today, if nothing else, I was truly grateful to have a job to go to, even on a holiday, that keeps me happy and fulfilled.

Start opening your eyes to the immense about of happy things happening all around you – it is really worth it!

Working with caterpillars

13 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by in Freedom, Life journey, Self growth, Success

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People often ask me what it is like to do my job.
Lots of people say that I should write a book about my experiences at work.
And the most frequently asked question is:  “How do you cope in your job?”
The answer is easy: I love what I do!

Let me give you a little insight into my day.
This morning I started with a group session focused on anxiety management.  Good enough start until I told everyone that after the session, we would be making relaxing bath salts.
One of the members got up and walked out of the room.
OK. Bye….
A few minutes later and he is back – standing there in nothing much else other than a towel.
There were a lot of laughs and I asked him what he was doing.
“Getting ready for a bath!”
OK – please go and put your clothes on.
Another member of the group says “you all have to excuse him – he’s mad!”
“What are you then?” asks someone else.
“I’m not mad, I just have a neurological problem…”
The door opens again – naked man is back, now dripping water all over the floor.
“I’ve been waiting for my bath salts but you never brought them to in to the bath for me!”

Let me tell you that not all days are like this and I can’t laugh at it on other days but I still love it.
Why do I love it?
Because although I work with ‘caterpillars’ I can see the ‘butterflies’ that they are becoming!
I get to see these amazing people transform from being depressed or anxious, manic and psychotic or just confused to becoming empowered, strong people.
And it is a real blessing to be able to do that.

No matter how big or small your challenge is, you are going to fly out of it magnificently.  No matter how tough it is, and no matter if you can’t even start to imagine getting through this – you will!  And you will marvel at the fact that you ever wondered how you would make it through.
Because if the naked man waiting for his bath salts is going to get there – then you will too!
Sometimes it takes longer than we want it to.
Sometimes it is just easier to be a caterpillar and never have to take any risks or deal with anything new.
Sometimes it is frustrating and scary and it feels like the world is going to end.
But little by little – one step at a time, you will look behind you and notice your wings and realise how amazing you truly are!

The slow life

06 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by in Attitude, Life journey, Mindfulness, Quiet and slow

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I left work today and slowly made my way home.
I say slowly because for some reasons beyond my simple understanding, there is no electricity across a large area of the city, and therefore no working traffic lights.  And of course there lots of manic drivers who treat the traffic light free roads as their own personal race course – don’t mind me stopping to check that it is safe to go through the intersection!  This is Johannesburg after all.
I finally get home and surprise, surprise – there’s no electricity here either.  And I’m stumped.  I have work to do that needs a computer and I am in desperate need for a cup of tea.
For a few minutes, I wandered aimlessly around having a good old moan about the inconvenience.
What could I actually do?
Just sit? No, that would be lazy… Although if there’s nothing else that I could do, and it was out of my control, then why shouldn’t I just sit?
And suddenly the sun made an appearance so I sat in a spot of sunlight and just enjoyed it. (For those of you who are not in Johannesburg, we haven’t seen the sun for days now).
No tea? I opened the fridge and freezer to get inspiration and amazingly – some kind (or silly) person left an ice cream in their uneaten.  Problem solved!
I got to spend some quiet time just sitting in my sunny spot, ice cream in hand – nothing wrong with that!

There are going to always be times in life when things just don’t go our way.  And we can either fight it and feel stressed or we can choose to just go with it.
Often it is far more complicated than the electricity being out.
Life is not always going to go according to your plans and from my experience, it is going to go against you more than it is going to go with you.
But if you graciously accept things the way that they are, with little or no regret, you are more likely to succeed than if you are always fighting life.

When you get up in the morning, tell yourself that you are going to take life as it happens.
If you’re running late, so you’re running late.  Didn’t get that promotion? He didn’t call back? You didn’t pass that test?  It happens!
Move on, move forward – you may discover things that you never even thought possible if you allow yourself the opportunity to go with it, and grow with it too!