Monthly Archives: September 2015

Dealing with invisible illness

30 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by in Advice, Depression, Illness, Mental health, Stress

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This week is Invisible Illness Week – a week to highlight illness that nobody else sees.

http://invisibleillnessweek.com/
And because nobody can see it, there is a good chance that nobody (or most people at least) really don’t understand what you are going through.
How can they? There is nothing to see.
In order to be seen as sick, it is really helpful to have a cast on at least one limb, a drip stand would be useful, an awful sounding cough might help too.
Unfortunately, many people have an invisible illness and they suffer in silence.  In fact, most invisible illnesses become worse if you are stressed.
If you are suffering on your own, feeling tense and angry, it is only going to make your symptoms worse.

While I think it is so important to have awareness weeks for illness, it is more important for you to take responsibility for yourself:

1.  Speak up!  People can’t see what you are going through so you need to let them know.  You don’t have to spend ages moaning and complaining but you do need to let people around you know that you are battling.

2.  Ask for help!  There are no prizes for doing everything by yourself – believe me, if there were I would be overwhelmed by the amount of prizes that I would get.
Tell people what you need and what they can do for you – people often like feeling that they have an important role to play and by giving them a practical task to help you, they will feel good and it will benefit you – win-win!

3.  Educate!  You have a responsibility to educate people about your illness.  People are only going to understand if you become an advocate for your illness.

4.  Be gentle on yourself.  If you are going through a tough time, take some time out to recover and don’t (DON’T!) feel guilty about not being the perfect parent, spouse, partner, colleague etc.

5.  Putting other people’s needs before your own is not going to make you any better.  It is nice to be nice but know that you don’t need to be nice to other people to feel good about yourself – you are wonderful! That is enough.

6.  Take breaks!  If you don’t make the decision to take a break to look after your health, your body will force you to take a break when you burn out or your immune system crashes – it is your choice.

7.  You are NOT your illness!  You may feel that it totally dominates your life but it is a guest in your body, not the general manager.

Facing up to mental illness

16 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Being brave, Mental health

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There is something that has been making its rounds on social media and I’ve read it a few times, and thought that is a bit harsh, but I’m going to share it anyway:

Telling someone with
Anxiety to “just stop worrying”
Depression to “just be happy”
Insomnia to “just go to sleep”
Anorexia to “just eat”
Bulimia to “just keep it in”
Self Harm issues to “just stop cutting”
Problems to “just get over it”
is like stabbing yourself in the stomach with a massive knife and saying “just stop bleeding” and then immediately feeling better.

I have a problem with the “stabbing yourself in the stomach” analogy because it is a bit ( more like very) violent but it is really true for people who battle with any mental illness (yes, that is what it is).
Whether it is family, friends or work colleagues, there are going to be people who really don’t understand what you are going through.
So we come to a dilemma:
How hard do we try to teach these people to understand what you really feel like?
There are people who are going to have no empathy at all – and those are often the people who would actually understand what you are going through if they were brave enough to face themselves and realise that they have problems too.  It is easier for those people to point fingers and to judge you than to look at themselves in the mirror.

I would rather you concentrate your energy on working on yourself and getting better than trying to prove something to someone who doesn’t actually want anything proved to them except that they are right.

Yes, you deserve better.
Yes, you deserve to have people who understand you.
But you need to be your own superhero.
Stand up for your right not to be OK, educate people around you, share your feelings and experiences with them but also humbly admit that some people are just not going to understand.  And that is OK too.

Thoughts on the new year

09 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by in Advice, Bucket List, Positivity

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What can I say on the last week of the year?
The Jewish new year starts on Sunday night and as usual, it is a time for reflection and contemplating the year ahead and looking back (as well as probably over analysing) the year that we left behind.
I really don’t know what happened to the past year because it just seems to have disappeared so quickly – my younger son says that it has something to do with old age but I’ll skip that idea!

This I do know:
If you are not  ‘present’ then time seems to fly by without feeling like you’ve achieved anything.  It is easy to just fall into ‘robot’ mode and get everything done that has to be done but without much enjoyment.
I’m on a mission to enjoy life more – to work harder at ticking off more of my bucket list and to find new adventures along the way.  Yes, I have to work and parent and be responsible but that is not the only thing that we are put on earth to do.
This time next year, I have to have walked with elephants, swum with dolphins or be a llama farmer (mainly because I just like the sound of that and it is probably not very likely)

I also know this:
A lot of people ask me how I cope with my job and the answer is quite simple.  I cope because I am constantly inspired by all of the people that I work with.
I am not inspired by celebrities and the rich and famous but by people who are constantly striving to better themselves and also by those that take time to make other people’s lives a little bit (or a lot) better.
Thank you for being an inspiration to me.  Everyone of you are responsible for me getting out of bed every morning and pitching up to help others.
You are all responsible for this blog being what it is because you are this blog! Thank you for that!

One of my biggest missions in my life is to stop complaining about always giving and embrace that it is my purpose in life to give.

Mother Teresa said:
“Spread love everywhere you go.
Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier”

We should all be inspired to make even just one person a little happier by being motivating, thankful and happier people – remember that hugs are free!

I wish you all peace, happiness and much health.

Am I lazy?

02 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Illness, Mindfulness, Relaxation

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Stop feeling guilty for taking time out!
Don’t feel bad about procrastinating a bit.
Your to-do list may be growing, and you can allow it to.

There are going to be times when you just don’t have the energy (or the health) to get things done.
This is not being lazy or procrastinating – this is called looking after yourself.
It is OK to look after yourself.
It is more than OK to look after yourself.
Nobody is a superhuman, or a superhero or a super robot and there is going to be a time when your body cries out to you that you need to recharge.  Listen to your body’s cries.
I am blessed (yes, blessed!) to have a chronic illness that is there as a reminder to me that I have to take time out.  If I don’t, then I end up with a fever and in pain which forces me to stop my ‘race’ and just care for myself.
The main reason that we don’t take time out is that we put pressure on ourselves to achieve a high standard of living or we feel that we have to keep up the appearance of being busy and successful.
Highly intelligent, over analytical and stressed people (I’m talking to you here, so pay attention!) have real difficulty with slowing down.  You think that you are a failure if you don’t keep moving and performing and doing.

Either you listen to your body shouting at you to slow down or it will give you something to slow you down.
You know all about it because you know people who have it, or you’ve read about it, or you might even have it yourself – more and more people are hypertensive, diabetic and have high cholesterol.  More people are anxious and stressed.
You cannot sustain this pace.
So stop!

Be gentle and kind to yourself.
Lie on your bed, cuddle on the couch, watch TV or movies, sip tea while you stare out of the window, doodle or colour in a picture.
Cry, play that music out loud, dance, shout.
Eat that chocolate biscuit!
And don’t for one second feel guilty about it.  Because as soon as you feel better (and you will), you will be up and about and doing what you’re meant to be doing with more energy and motivation than you had before.