Monthly Archives: October 2015

Scary anxiety

29 Thursday Oct 2015

Posted by in Advice, Anxiety, Being brave, Mental health

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Since Halloween is around the corner, and we are talking all things spooky, let’s look at the one of the scariest “monsters” around – anxiety.
Anxiety can be so scary because it is associated with fear – fear of the unknown, fear of dying, fear of losing control and a fear that something really bad is going to happen (an impending sense of doom).
So far, a great script for a horror movie.
Every horror movie needs a hero, and it is time for you to step up and take that role because your choice is always going to be:
Is anxiety going to fight you or are you going to fight anxiety?
Scare away anxiety
Tips for becoming an anxiety monster fighter:

  1. You are not going to die! Repeat after me: you are not going to die!  How do you know that you are not going to die? Well, you didn’t die the last time you had an anxiety attack so the chances are fairly good that you are not going to die this time either.
  2. Recognise an anxiety attack for what it is.  If you become familiar with the symptoms (racing heart, chest pains, difficultly breathing, dizziness, feeling out of control and ‘floaty’, nausea), you can talk yourself through an attack “hello anxiety – I see you, I know you and I know that I am going to be OK”
  3. Breathe! Breathe out as hard as you can and then take a deep breath in.  Concentrate on regulating your breathing
  4. Run cold water over your wrists
  5. Suck a peppermint or a small ice cube
  6. Stand in a breeze or in front of a fan
  7. This may sound crazy but try this:  pinch the tips of your fingers with a clothes peg – it stimulates a trigger point that can calm you down – so can pressing down into your web space (the gap between your thumb and your finger)
  8. Rub a drop of lavender oil on your forehead
  9. You are not going to faint! Trust me on this one, there is very little chance of fainting when you have anxiety (unless you panic so much that you stop breathing properly – so back to point 3)
  10. Use every time that you survive an anxiety attack as a positive affirmation of how brilliant you are to have overcome it and know that if it happens again, you will deal with it again!  Remember that if your body is reacting to anxiety, it probably means that your body works really well.

Happy Halloween!

The battered guardian angel

22 Thursday Oct 2015

Posted by in Attitude, Creativity, Life journey, Life Lessons, Quiet and slow

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Last week I was taking some very much needed time out for what I call therapy – painting and drawing.
I had decided to paint a picture of an angel (my guardian angel as I see her) and write a story about how grateful I am to have a guardian angel to look after me.
Note that I say that my guardian angel is a female – I like to picture her as young, pretty and graceful when in reality, my guardian angel is more likely to be a beer swilling overweight man (no offense intended).
I finally got the picture the way I wanted it to be when I spilled some grey paint on the angel’s cheek.  So, I furiously started rubbing at the paper when my son walked in and asked what I was doing.
I answered that I was trying to erase the mess that I made, when he came out with a profound statement.
He said: “Leave it! What if your guardian angel really looks like that? Maybe she has a bruise.”

angel

I sat for a while and contemplated what he said.  The perfectionist in me was still trying to figure out how to fix the problem when I decided to take his advice and leave it.
Then it dawned on me that there is a good chance that my guardian angel has more than one bruise.  And that is because I drag her through all kinds of things.
I realised that I spend a lot of energy in my life fighting what should naturally happen.
I often try to take control over things that I can’t control.  I fight a chronic illness, when I should rather be listening to my body and be more gentle on myself.
I know that I do things that I shouldn’t be doing and I put more pressure on myself than absolutely necessary.
And right then, when I stared at my imperfect angel, I vowed to stop.

It is not easy to let go of control.
It is difficult to let things be, to let relationships run their natural course, to rest when we need to rest, to be gentle on ourselves and to be open to the path that life is taking on us.
It may not be the route that you intended but it is the life that you are meant to be living.
Live more gracefully and more graciously.
Let all of the other nonsense go!

 

Making failure work

14 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Self growth

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This week has been awful so far.  It seems that there is bad news followed by more bad news and then horrific news.
I was actually going to write about some of this news but I’ve decided that we all need a break from bad news.
There is, however, one huge thing that we can learn from all of this bad news, and that is that we should really count our blessings.  I’ve seen tweets today from people narrowly missing (by seconds) the collapse of a bridge and a woman who was late for work and because of it, she missed being hit by a car that ran into the bus stop that she should have been standing at.
Today is a good day to take a deep breath and really focus on how lucky we are to have what we have, to be alive and even to be able to take that deep breath.

So, onto lighter things (and South Africans, please remember to keep everything in perspective this weekend – this is a lighter thing) – the Rugby World Cup.
This is the tournament where South Africa lost their first match against Japan.
People were disappointed in the team and a lot of people lost faith in the team’s ability to even win another game.  Predictions were that we would be knocked out of the World Cup in the first round.
But where did we end up after the first round of matches?
At the top of our group!
I have a very strong feeling that if we had not lost that match against Japan, we may not have continued to play in the tournament so well.

Sometimes you need to fail or to lose in order to build yourself up.
You really do not have any idea how amazing you are and what a survivor you are until you are tested.
We don’t want to be tested and we don’t want to fail because failure is generally seen as a bad thing.  Stop seeing it like that!
Failure is an opportunity to learn, to grow and to succeed.
Count your blessings that you have the opportunity to fail, because one day you will look back on this and say:
“I don’t regret a thing!”

Walking your own path

07 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by in Being brave, Life journey

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Today is Jayne Torvill’s birthday.

Bolero 2014

Bolero 2014

(It is also Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Simon Cowell’s birthday, oh yes and my friend Debbie’s too.)
My friends clearly know that I am obsessed with Jayne Torvill (and I can already see them rolling their eyes!)
When I was young, I wanted to be Jayne Torvill and so I set my sights on winning an Olympic Gold medal (yes, seriously! Or so I thought)
Sadly, although now with no regrets, I never got to fulfill my dreams of getting to the Olympics, never mind winning a gold medal.

1984 Gold medal winners

1984 Gold medal winners

With hindsight, and the wisdom of old(er) age, I now know why I never fulfilled my dreams.  That was because although my dreams were my own, they were based on somebody else’s success.
The thing about Jayne Torvill and her partner Christopher Dean was that they did the opposite of what I did – they didn’t try to copy anybody.  They were innovators who were absolutely unique in their style and their artistry.  And that is why 31 years later, they are still considered the greatest in their field.

So, I messed up my ice skating career but I became a passionate Occupational Therapist as a direct result of my failed skating endeavours.
And since then I have never again followed any path that has been well used.
I always do things differently and in my own unique way.

Every one of us is special and unique.
There is absolutely no reason why we should spend our lives either trying to copy other people or to live up to the expectation of others.
Find your own path, do things the way that you think they should be done.
Don’t be afraid to walk on the path less traveled.
Be brave!
Do it anyway!

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

– Robert Frost