Last week I was taking some very much needed time out for what I call therapy – painting and drawing.
I had decided to paint a picture of an angel (my guardian angel as I see her) and write a story about how grateful I am to have a guardian angel to look after me.
Note that I say that my guardian angel is a female – I like to picture her as young, pretty and graceful when in reality, my guardian angel is more likely to be a beer swilling overweight man (no offense intended).
I finally got the picture the way I wanted it to be when I spilled some grey paint on the angel’s cheek. So, I furiously started rubbing at the paper when my son walked in and asked what I was doing.
I answered that I was trying to erase the mess that I made, when he came out with a profound statement.
He said: “Leave it! What if your guardian angel really looks like that? Maybe she has a bruise.”
I sat for a while and contemplated what he said. The perfectionist in me was still trying to figure out how to fix the problem when I decided to take his advice and leave it.
Then it dawned on me that there is a good chance that my guardian angel has more than one bruise. And that is because I drag her through all kinds of things.
I realised that I spend a lot of energy in my life fighting what should naturally happen.
I often try to take control over things that I can’t control. I fight a chronic illness, when I should rather be listening to my body and be more gentle on myself.
I know that I do things that I shouldn’t be doing and I put more pressure on myself than absolutely necessary.
And right then, when I stared at my imperfect angel, I vowed to stop.
It is not easy to let go of control.
It is difficult to let things be, to let relationships run their natural course, to rest when we need to rest, to be gentle on ourselves and to be open to the path that life is taking on us.
It may not be the route that you intended but it is the life that you are meant to be living.
Live more gracefully and more graciously.
Let all of the other nonsense go!