Monthly Archives: January 2016

“You’re never fully dressed without a smile”

27 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by in Acts of Kindness, Attitude, Gratitude, Positivity

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I was so touched today when I was part of a discussion where one man thanked another for a compliment he had received from him earlier in the day.
It touched me because so few people give compliments anymore and the person involved said that he could not even remember the last time somebody had said something nice to him (sad world that we live in).
We complain a lot, we focus on the negatives, we fight when we get poor service, and we expect a lot from people in general.
It is so easy to get caught up in that spiral of negativity.

So let us start a new mission:
Everyday, say something nice to somebody.  Not just to somebody that you know or to a family member. Give a compliment to a stranger.
I make it my personal mission to always comment on a cashier’s hairstyle or a security guard’s smile.  I like to tell somebody that they are looking good.  OK, it is probably explains a lot about why I get more marriage proposals than the average person but so be it.
Tell someone that you are proud of them and very importantly, tell your friends and family that you love them!

Everyday that you walk into work or school – smile!
Even if you don’t feel that happy – smile anyway.  Because if you smile, you will probably get a smile back in return.  You will probably feel better for smiling anyway – you know – “turn that frown upside down”?
Or to quote Annie (yes, I watched the original movie numerous times and the latest version twice….) “you’re never fully dressed without a smile”

And my favourite thing to do… always – random acts of kindness.
If you would love somebody to do something nice for you, chances are that somebody would love something nice from you.
Small little things – today it was a packet of peppermints that I gave to a colleague battling with morning sickness.
I promise that you will feel good doing it.
And yes, it is difficult to be the one always giving and not receiving but be the nicer person.

Eleanor Roosevelt wrote in her book You learn by living: Eleven Keys for a more fulfilling life:
“Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product. Paradoxically, the one sure way not to be happy is deliberately to map out a way of life in which one would please oneself completely and exclusively. After a short time, a very short time, there would be little that one really enjoyed. For what keeps our interest in life and makes us look forward to tomorrow is giving pleasure to other people.”

And let me tell you this:
You are wonderful!

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Trying a more positive style

20 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Being brave, Gratitude, Positivity

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I’m sure that you can all imagine that I spend a lot of my day listening to people moaning about their lives.
There are countless people who feel sorry for themselves and you don’t need to be a therapist to be exposed to this – just spend some time on Facebook or in the break room at work, or even sitting with your family members and you will be confronted by people who complain incessantly.
The sad thing is that most of the people doing the complaining have no idea how blessed they are or how much good they actually have in their lives.

I am treating a lady at the moment who developed a meningitis infection as a result of HIV which left her blind.  After surviving that ordeal, she decided to really start living her life – she has learned how to swim, gained new skills and is always on a mission to learn new things and embrace the wonder around her.  Part of that journey is attending therapy.
I am so inspired my her story and her attitude.
To top it off, I watched a documentary about Nick Vujicic today and I think that it should be compulsory for everyone to watch or read his story.
http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/about-life-without-limbs/
How does somebody with so many limitations live a life with so much positivity and enthusiasm?
And how do people who have so much spend so much energy on negativity and moaning?

I think that Depression, Anxiety and Bipolar Mood Disorder are some of the most difficult, misunderstood illnesses to have.  And while I never expect any of my clients to be jumping up and down with the joys of life and constantly counting their blessings, I do ask them to try to focus on what they have rather than what they don’t.
I ask them to think about what they think their mission is in life and what they can learn through their own challenges.
It is difficult and challenging to be positive when it is the last thing that you feel, but understand this:
You are so wonderful, so blessed and so unique.  You could really give so much to yourself and the world if you just allow yourself do it.

Your theme song

13 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Being brave, Freedom

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The next mission for 2016:
Have a theme song

Make it your mission to find a song (or 2 or 3) that would be the opening or closing song to the movie about your life.
OK, so we are not all going to all have movies made about our lives (and I fear that mine would be a bit boring) but never mind – you still need a theme song.
Your theme song is the music that inspires you, or makes you cry (in a good way), smile or jump with joy.  It shouts out “THIS IS ME!”

Researchers at McGill University in Canada showed through brain scans while participants were listening to music that people release dopamine (a feel good chemical) when they listen to music and even when they anticipate listening to music.
That is good enough for me but we don’t need research to know that music makes you feel good and it is often a tool to help you express yourself with words and emotions that you may not easily express on your own.

I gave my kids their theme song before starting the new school year:
Brave by Sara Bareilles because I want them to know that they can speak out and let others know how they are feeling and importantly not let anyone walk all over them (the issue that every nice, kind, people-pleasing person has)

“Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUQsqBqxoR4

Find your own song and (with apologies to your neighbours) play it out loudly again and again as many times as you need to until you find that you need a new song.
And then play that song again!

 

Happy 2016!

06 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Being brave, Change, Creativity, Life journey, Self growth

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Happy new year everyone!
I hope that this is going to be a year of self discovery, learning and finding peace.

Those of you who have been around me or have been reading my blog for years (thank you very much!) know that I hate the concept of new year’s resolutions.
Yet, I make them anyway because when do you get a greater time to make change than from the very beginning of a brand new year?
That doesn’t mean that you can’t make resolutions whenever you want – make them as often as you want. Don’t worry either if you fail on one of your resolutions, keep trying or take the failure as a clear indicator that you need to do things differently for a change.

Here are some of the things that I have decided to do for 2016 (and I would love it if you joined me in one or two or all of them):

1.  Care less.  It sounds horrible but I know that I care too much about too many people.  My very kind friends have told me that caring is part of my personality and that I shouldn’t change but I am trying to care a little bit less so that I make a little more time for myself and my happiness.

2.  Always (ok, close to often) have well manicured nails – the first thing that people see when they reach out their hand to greet you is your hands.  A well groomed hand says a lot.  Buy that funky coloured nail varnish…

3. Smile more – before people shake your hands, they notice your face (I hope).  Smile! Even if you don’t necessarily feel like smiling, if you make yourself look happier, you generally feel more positive and so does the person who is looking at you.  Unless you are grimacing – don’t grimace!

4. You may meet shy people who don’t look you in the eye and don’t extend their hand to you.  They tend to look down when they talk to you – which leads me to my next point: wear awesome shoes!
If you don’t feel awesome, then wear nervous breakdown shoes, which is a whole other story.

5. Learn a new skill this year – creativity is the one thing that absolutely keeps me calm so I am going to learn a new craft.  You can learn a new skill, gain a new hobby, sign up for a new course (remember that there are thousands of free online courses) or just teach yourself something that you’ve always wanted to do.

6. Do something that scares you – choose to do the thing that you have been putting off, confront someone who needs confronting,  go ahead and book that bungee jump (I won’t be joining you but feel free to do it anyway)

7. Be less worried about order and control and therefore, I am going to calmly only have 7 points on my list even though my logical brain is telling me to keep it even – a nice number like 10.  Sometimes, we have to live a little chaotically and see what will happen and where life will take us with less planning and less need to have control.

I would love to hear what your plans for the year are.
Let’s make it wonderful!