Monthly Archives: February 2016

Outgrow up

17 Wednesday Feb 2016

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, self esteem, Self growth

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Sometimes you find something that is so perfect that there is not much else to say.
This morning I found piece of writings by Chanda Kaushik:

“I have outgrown many things.  I have outgrown relatives who gladly offer criticism but not support.  I have outgrown my need to meet my family’s unrealistic expectations of me.  I have outgrown girls who wear masks and secretly rejoice at my misfortunes.  I have outgrown shrinking myself for boys who are intimidated by my intelligence and outspoken nature.  I have outgrown friends who cannot celebrate my accomplishments.  I have outgrown people who conveniently disappear whenever life gets a little dark.  I have outgrown those who take pleasure in gossiping and spreading negativity.  I have outgrown dull, meaningless conversations that feel forced.  I have outgrown those who don’t take a stand against ignorance and injustice.  I have outgrown trying to please everyone.  I have outgrown society constantly telling me I’m not beautiful, smart or worthy enough.  I have outgrown my tendency to fill my mind with self doubt and insecurity.  I have outgrown trying to find reasons not to love myself.  I have outgrown anything and anyone that does not enrich the essence of my soul.  I have outgrown many things – and I’ve never felt freer.”

Obviously you should change certain sentences to suit your gender and your relationships with others but I honestly believe that every person should read this every day and remind yourselves of how valuable and worthy you really are.

Chilling on the couch at 5pm

11 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by in Advice, Mindfulness, Quiet and slow

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In a surprising turn of events, after nursing two sick kids, I ended up getting sick too.
Nothing hectic, it was just a cold but  nevertheless, I was sick and miserable (of course).
I say surprising rather sarcastically because it wasn’t surprising at all – in fact, I was waiting for it to happen.  I know my body well enough to know that if I don’t get enough sleep and I work too hard and care too much, my immune system is going to take a breather and I will get sick.

And you know what? I didn’t mind!
Firstly I wasn’t sick enough to be bed ridden by any means.  I kept on working as usual and driving my kids to and from school.
Secondly, and most importantly, it gave me a legitimate reason to just lie down on the couch in the middle of the afternoon.
Usually the afternoons are meant for me to do administration and reports and now I just didn’t have the energy to do that work (or much housework).  And it was pretty wonderful.
If I wasn’t sick, I would have really felt guilty about doing nothing at 5pm but now I had an excuse.
And I discovered that there are a lot of interesting things to watch on TV at 5pm.  But more than that, I gave my body time to relax.

What is it that makes us feel that we need to be busy all of the time?
I definitely don’t usually have the time to spend on the couch but I really cherished the time that I could.  I also thought about being kinder to myself and about the importance of taking some time out just to relax.
I tend to “relax” by doing things and I try to convince myself that if it is not actual “work”, then it is leisure.
But it is not.

True relaxation is about not needing to be doing anything productive.  It is about being able to not do anything without feeling guilty and it is about not feeling like you are useless or worthless if you can’t account for every minute that you spent in your day.
By being still and quiet, you allow yourself to really connect with yourself or with people who matter to you.
Put that phone down!
Put that broom away!
Step away from that computer!

You honestly deserve time out and down time.
Never, ever feel guilty about looking after your body, mind and soul.
Even if you can only manage a few minutes a day, just sit quietly and breathe.
Do gentle stretches. Watch the world go by and appreciate your surroundings.
Sip your tea (out of a real teacup rather than a travel mug) instead of gulping it on the run.
Your body will thank you for it!

Avoid burnout

04 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by in Advice, Coping skills, Life Lessons

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This has truly been an awful week because my son has been sick.
He literally hasn’t slept for a week (which means that neither have I) and any free time that I would have had has been taken up by giving him medication and applying ointment to his skin.
And it all culminated in the mother of all bad days yesterday when literally everything felt like it was going wrong.

Then guess what happened?
Yesterday ended, I survived, my son survived and he managed to sleep for about 6 hours.
Yesterday, I really felt that I was going crazy and just like that, things improved today without any intervention from me.

Life is like that – there are going to be days that are absolute disasters and times when you can’t even imagine ever getting through and then they end and you can’t believe that you actually made it.
Of course it can happen the other way round too.
Life can merrily be going along and suddenly something happens to turn it all upside down.

I think the most important lesson that we can learn is just being able to let things go and try not to freak out about needing control all of the time.
What did I do yesterday when I got home?
Not much!
The laundry wasn’t folded, the dishes were not washed and dinner was about as unspectacular as you can get.
I knew that I needed to have some time just doing nothing in order to avoid burn out.
And that is the key – we can’t control life and we are not necessarily going to control how our bodies are going to react to stress but we can certainly do our absolute best to make sure that we do not burn out.
That means taking time out to recover, giving up the idea of perfection, accepting that not everything is going to get done and definitely asking for help when you need it.

The idea of “this too shall pass” is very clichéd but also very true.
Until it does pass, it is your responsibility to be the best you can be to yourself – be gentle, be kind and really nice to yourself.  Think bubble baths, delicious food, sitting and watching the sunset, gentle walks, hanging out with nice people (or even better animals) and definitely no housework!