Monthly Archives: May 2016

Reasons for being unhappy

25 Wednesday May 2016

Posted by in Attitude, Freedom, Gratitude, Positivity

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Anna Vital writes about what she thinks are the reasons for people being unhappy.  It is worth having a look at these reasons and thinking about how it applies to your life and your choices for happiness.
(I have put my own explanations in brackets after each one.)

Reasons for being unhappy:

  • Setting expectations unrealistically high (setting yourself up for failure by only aiming high and not being realistic or taking things step by step)
  • Thinking that you are special but can’t explain why (remember that nobody owes you anything and you are no more special than anyone else – work hard for yourself and not for recognition)
  • Measuring happiness in the wrong units (no, money can NOT buy you happiness no matter how happy you feel at the time)
  • Getting used to what you have and then wanting more (learn to appreciate, be happy and love what you have)
  • Confusing not being bad with being good (just because you are not a criminal, and well done for that, doesn’t mean that you are being good to others or to yourself)
  • Trying to find meaning in being unhappy (please don’t over-analyse everything.  Learn to be in the moment)
  • Hoping that other people will make you happy (nobody can make you feel happy until you are happy with yourself)
  • Finding commiserators (stop inviting people to your pity party – rather surround yourself with positive people who truly care about you)
  • Believing that happiness is a selfish pursuit (you ARE worth it! And you do deserve happiness)
  • Thinking that misery follows happiness (just let yourself be happy, don’t worry about the fact that it may not last – maybe it will, maybe it won’t)

You may not feel over the moon, excited kind of happy but start thinking about how you are holding yourself back.
Be wonderful!

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Dealing with negative people

18 Wednesday May 2016

Posted by in Advice, Coping skills, Positivity

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One of the biggest stressors that people have to deal with is dealing with other people.  Well, dealing with other people and the way that they treat you.

Why are some people bad, horrible and negative towards you?

  1. They have had a hard life and that makes them negative and resentful towards others
  2. They are having a hard time right now and they find it difficult to interact positively with other people
  3. They are genuinely just nasty people
  4. They are jealous of you (which, by the way, means that you have to be doing something great!)

So what can you do about these people?

  1. Nothing
  2. Nothing
  3. Nothing
  4. Nothing

Their problems are their own.  The only way that they can feel better about themselves is to make you feel bad so that you can feel the same way as they do (or worse) – this is NOT YOUR PROBLEM!  They want it to become your problem but it is really not about you at all.

What can you do about the way you interact with these people?
You have a few choices here (that’s the good news).

  1. Do not have anything to do with them and if possible try to give them space (far, far away from you) – cut them out of your life because they do not deserve to be taking up important space in your life.  You are worth so much more than they allow you to be.  Don’t give them any more room to have control over you.
  2. If they do put you down or treat you badly, please do not pick yourself up and go right back to them so that they can abuse you more.  By cutting you out of their life, they are making a decision for you.  They do not need to be given more opportunities to hurt you.
  3. If you absolutely can not leave them – you need to learn to put up an imaginary barrier between you and them.  They can say and do whatever they want but you are the one who knows why they are saying those things.  And because you know that it is NOT ABOUT YOU, you do not allow their negativity to affect you – you are bigger, stronger and more awesome than that!
  4. Most importantly, take it as a compliment that somebody would be obsessing about what you are doing.  If they are noticing you then you must be doing great.  Keep on being great!  They will eventually get tired of you and move on to someone else.

Seeing rainbows

11 Wednesday May 2016

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Gratitude, Life Lessons, Positivity

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On Monday evening one of my friends posted on Facebook something that said “I survived Monday!”
I’m sure that most of us feel that way on a Monday and immediately start counting the days and hours until Friday.
The only problem with “I survived Monday!” is that my neighbour didn’t.
He died on Monday morning.
When most people were moaning about traffic, complaining about the week and generally dragging themselves into the day, he didn’t even make it to 9am on a Monday morning. And his family’s lives were devastated in an instant.
Believe me, I was having my fair share of Monday complaining and generally feeling miserable and overwhelmed by all of my responsibilities but that quickly ended when I heard the news.  It was a quick and very rude awakening about how blessed I was to have not only “survived Monday” but also to still be here to be blessed enough to continue with my “stressful” and “chaotic” life.

Please don’t forget to pause even while feeling sorry for yourself and to realise how blessed you are.

Today I was exhausted and as I finally did my shopping and then drove out of the shops, the sight that I was greeted with was absolutely spectacular.  There was a huge rainbow arching over the sky.  So amazing!  I saw it as a gift to me and a clear reminder of the beauty of life.

beautiful rainbow

Take a breath, look at the bigger picture and realise how special every moment is and what a blessing it is to be able to be here to celebrate that moment.

10 Lessons from Star Wars

04 Wednesday May 2016

Posted by in Coping skills, Fear, Life Lessons, Lists, Success

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Today is the 4th of May – or more accurately, May the Fourth (international Star Wars Day)

starwars

Since we celebrate Star Wars Day, here are some important lessons that I have learned from Star Wars.

  1. You can learn something from somebody younger than you.  Just because you are older (and seemingly more experienced), doesn’t mean that a younger person can’t teach you something new.  They may have had an experience or have a skill that you don’t.  So be humble (see Anakin Skywalker’s pod racing abilities)
  2. Big ideas can come in small packages – Yoda is enough proof of that.  Don’t judge people by their size, race or gender.  Everybody has a story to tell, everybody has something that they can teach you.
  3. Use the force (okay, we don’t have Jedi force although that would be really great!) but your attitude could be your force.  The way that you treat people could be your power.  Think about how powerful you really are (and don’t ever let anybody tell you otherwise)
  4. Yoda says “Do or not do, there is no try” – we are so afraid of failure that we often don’t even start to try.  If there is something that you want to do, commit to it and do it!
  5. Your biggest fears are within yourself.  You really need to look deeply at yourself before you look on the outside.  How much of what you fear is about your own negative stories that you create around that fear?
  6. If you have a bad feeling about something, try to trust your instinct (or your Jedi abilities) – usually you have a bad feeling for a reason, so don’t put yourself at risk unless you really love danger.
  7. Sometimes the person who looks or acts the strangest can be your closest friend.  A wookiee and a person can be great partners.  We can be wonderful friends with people from different cultures, races and religions if we are prepared to see beyond the ‘box’
  8. Stand up for what is right – even if it is your father that is your enemy.
  9. Yoda said “when 900 year you will reach, look as good you will not” – learn to love (or at least like) yourself as you are – in a beauty and looks orientated material world, it is easy to forget that true beauty comes from within
  10. Sometimes you need to leave your comfort zone (or even your planet) in order to really start fulfilling your destiny

May the fourth (or even the force) be with you!