Monthly Archives: August 2016

I am not fat

31 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Freedom, Life Lessons, Positivity

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In my younger and more athletic days, I had a washboard stomach (and let me tell you that I definitely I didn’t appreciate it at the time).
So this morning, while I was getting dressed, I was lamenting on what happened to that perfect stomach which has been replaced with something rather flabby – clearly caused by pregnancy, lack of doing sit ups (raise your hands those of you who actually do sit ups…) and possibly a tiny little bit of too many pastries.
I got on with my day and didn’t give my stomach a second thought – after all, it was my pregnancies, lack of sit ups and need for visiting the patisserie that caused it – until I got one of those lovely marketing emails offering me R100 off a weight loss program.
I just spent more than R100 on potatoes!

And therein lies the problem – I do not need any random marketing email to remind me that I am fat (which I am not!) – I don’t feel fat most of the time until something or someone has to remind me of how my body doesn’t fit into what is considered “normal” and if my self esteem wasn’t good enough, I would think that I was not normal and would spend my life trying to fit in.
We are constantly being told that we are too fat (or in my chocolate devouring husband’s case, too thin), or too old, too young, too uneducated, uninformed, too black, too white and too bipolar – What??
Two different people told me today that they had ruined their marriages because of negative self belief that started when they were children taught by none other than their own parents.

Understand this now – you are never going to fit in!
How can you when you are an amazing, beautiful and unique person?  What exactly are you trying to fit in with?
Somebody else’s idea of what is right and what is wrong.  Stop it right now and choose to embrace your individuality.

I was so blessed to meet Caroline Rothstein this past weekend whose video I want to share with you.
She is an amazing survivor, a brilliant speaker and somebody who is no longer letting negative pressures and experiences determine who she is.

Fat is not a feeling

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Tips for sleeping

24 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Advice, insomnia, Mental health, Quiet and slow

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Because my son is ill and my husband has been ill, I have not slept properly for weeks.
I am not going to lie – it has been difficult and I obsess about sleeping more than I think about chocolate – which for me is a big thing.
During my many waking hours, I have had time to think of all the people who, like me, were lying awake at 4 in the morning.  4 in the morning is the worst time to be awake because it seems too late to go back to sleep so you while away your time waiting for the sun to rise.

And whether you fall asleep or not, the sun will rise and a new day starts.  And no matter how much you are convinced you are never going to make it through the day, it seems that you do.
Our bodies are amazingly resilient.  While there may be a lot of research about how lack of sleep affects our bodies (and I just read one article about how you don’t produce enough growth hormone if you don’t sleep, which may or may not explain why my son who is constantly awake is so small) it seems that you will probably not die from not sleeping.

This I do know:
– Obsessing about not sleeping is really not going to help you to sleep. Stop trying to sleep and just use your bed to relax.
– Practice deep breathing and try to calm your thoughts while just focusing on your breath. (No, it is not a good idea to kill your boss or your husband or your mother-in-law…)
– A cup of chamomile tea before bed can really help
– Hug a teddy bear (or your pillow if you don’t have a bear) and no, you are not too old for a bear!
– Do not, I repeat, do not look at your phone!  There are always exciting or scary things happening around the world that will only disturb your sleep further.
– Remember that no matter how stressful the night may be, you are so blessed to have a warm bed with a roof over your head to spend the night awake in.
– Nobody (as far as I know) has been awake forever.  When your body is ready and your mind is calmer and you are in a better space, you will sleep.

Quick stress management

17 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Advice, Quiet and slow, Stress

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In the fast paced, super stressed world that we live in, we need some quick solutions in order to deal with stress.
Here are some of my favourite easy to do, quick stress management techniques:

Take a deep breath – stop holding your breath. Yes, we really spend ages not breathing properly.

Put down that phone, step away from the screen.  The world has not been known to end if you don’t answer that message right now

A drop of lavender oil on your wrist is really soothing

Find someone to hug – maybe not a random stranger (though who am I to say don’t do it?) and if there is nobody to hug, then hug yourself

Walk outside in the sunshine – get away from artificial light

Stay away (as much as possible), ignore or generally avoid people who drain your energy with their negativity

Write a one line affirmation – “I am amazing”, “I am a survivor”, “I am strong”, “I am brave”

Decorate your affirmation with glitter and washi tape (OK, maybe that’s just me who does that)

Just focus on this moment, right now and tell yourself “I am OK”

Don’t judge me by my death stare

11 Thursday Aug 2016

Posted by in Attitude, Life Lessons, Mindfulness

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I’m sure that we have all seen the photo of the Michael Phelps death stare by now.

death stare
Truthfully, I don’t understand what the big deal was – people do things to prepare for big events in ways that us mere mortals may never understand.
I have my own version of the death stare (though, let’s be honest – it looks more like I am squinting into the sunlight than any really scary look and I may not be a super villain yet).
What I really don’t understand was why the “death stare” had to make the front page of our newspaper.
Was there nothing more important to report on that day?
Perhaps not…
I am just grateful that my death stare didn’t make the front page.

Today, there is something else on the front page and the death stare is old news.
Never, ever forget that – what seems like something so important today, may be insignificant tomorrow.
Sometimes, we make mistakes or things happen to us that feel like they are the end of the world at the time.  Yet, we survive.
You may be the talking point in the office today because everyone has something to say about how you behaved or what you did.  But tomorrow, they will have moved on.  That’s just what happens.
Try not to let people’s opinions of you matter.  It is just that – an opinion.  What you do today does not define who you are going to be tomorrow.
It may seem like the end of the world today, tomorrow might be a little bit better.
You are a survivor after all!

So blessed to be cold

03 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Advice, Life journey, Mindfulness, Positivity

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So, I made my mark!
Today I voted in the local elections.  I stood in the freezing cold, icy wind and waited patiently in the queue to put a mark on a piece of paper.
Everybody in the queue was just as patient and just as happy to stand there in the cold because I think that we all realised what an honour and privilege it is to have the right to vote.
I stood there in the cold making small talk with strangers and it really struck me that we are all so lucky to have the rights that we do have – not just to vote but to do it freely.

We should never take things for granted.
Including the small things like knowing that no matter how cold we were in that queue, most of us would be going back to warm houses and steaming cups of tea.
We take big things for granted too – every day that you wake up and you can still walk and talk, do you stop to think how amazing that is?
The fact that you are healthy (okay maybe only somewhat healthy…) or that you have running water, food on your table, a warm bed, a roof over your head and (very important to my kids) access to wifi!!

Whenever you feel yourself slipping into self pity and negative thinking, please just take a minute to list the things that you do have.
You always have a choice – do you focus on what you do have or do you cry about what you don’t have?
Yes, there are always going to be people who are happier, healthier, wealthier and more successful than you but there are also always going to be people who look at you as somebody happier, healthier, wealthier and more successful than them.
Think about it!