Monthly Archives: September 2016

Three cheers for the woman who dressed as a cow

29 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Freedom, Positivity

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I was in such a good mood this morning because I saw a cow walking down the road.
Well it was a woman dressed up as cow, actually a woman wearing a cow onesie with a tail, ears and everything.
And I laughed and laughed aloud in my car.

What a blessing to be able to walk freely in the street dressed as a cow and not worry about what anyone thinks.
I often feel that we are so caught up in our problems that we don’t notice our blessings.  Not only that, we don’t notice the little moments that may just shift our moods, even for a short while.  Even if it is a cow walking in the road…
In all the chaos of my life, I have been catching up with a TV show that I used to love when I was a kid in the 80’s. It’s just a simple pleasure.
(Stop smirking or trying to work out my age…. )
The 80’s were great – we had big hair, big shoulders and leg warmers – enough to make anyone laugh when they look back at how cool we thought we were.

Can you create some time just to do something that will make you laugh?  Whether it is reminiscing with a friend, watching an old movie, doing something silly…
Can you care a little less what anyone thinks of you?

I would love to be able to thank the woman who chose today to walk in public dressed like a cow – she has no idea how much better she made me feel.
Maybe tomorrow, you might be the person who makes somebody else smile….
Give it a go!

Your boss is not going to like me but…

21 Wednesday Sep 2016

Posted by in Advice, Change, Freedom, Mental health, Quiet and slow, Stress

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Your boss is not going to like me but….
Take a break!

Every day of my life I work with people who are battling with burn out and severe stress because of work.  And it just shouldn’t be that way.
As much as we all need to earn a living and pay our bills (and debts), our jobs cannot be our lives.
Unfortunately it has become that way – we live our lives for our work.  The same work that stresses you to a point that it makes you sick!
A very sad quote from Ellen Goodman makes this so clear:
“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it”

I just don’t think that it is worth it.
Surely your life is worth more than that?
It is time to take a break !  Get out of the office for lunch, sit under a tree and take in the world, have a cup of coffee (or even an ice cream) away from your desk.  Step away from the desk!

And when you are not at work – stop thinking about work.  I doubt that you love your boss that much that you need to fantasize about them at 4 in the morning – even if you are fantasizing about revenge.
Find something that is absolutely not work related and make time to do it.  Whether it is creative or energetic, you need to have something that gives you meaning other than work. Something that can give your mind and body a rest from the day to day endless stressful routine.

So, I’m sorry if I am going to upset your boss but it is time that employers started valuing their staff more and realising that by pushing their staff to breaking point, they are going to get less achieved in the long run.  And if nobody else is going to teach them that lesson, then it might as well be you.
Today is a good day to take your life back!

Coping when life sucks

15 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by in Advice, Coping skills

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Let’s face it, sometimes life really sucks and it feels like you are never going to be okay or you will never cope and things will always be this bad.

I will tell you what I know about getting through the rough times:
– Nothing lasts forever – no matter how much you can’t ever imagine getting out of this situation, time will pass and you will.
– You are much stronger and more resilient than you even know.  Just when you think that you are going to fall apart, you keep on going.
– You are a survivor – you are reading this so you must be!
– There is always somebody out there who loves you.  You may feel alone but that is not true – reach out to those people
– There is always somebody out there who hates you.  That is there problem, not yours. Forget about them!
– What doesn’t kill you may not make you stronger, but it didn’t kill you and that’s a good thing… isn’t it?
– Your dog (or cat or bird, maybe not your goldfish) will always think that you are the most amazing person ever!
– There is always, always something to smile about, or even better to laugh about
– There is a very strong possibility that chocolate (or pizza or tea or cheesecake or ice cream) might be just what you need right now.  It definitely won’t fix the problem but just enjoying something is enough to prove that there is something worthwhile in your life
– The sun will always rise tomorrow, you will get through the night and you will get through tomorrow too.
– You are an amazing, special, unique person – don’t ever forget that!

Kindness project

07 Wednesday Sep 2016

Posted by in Acts of Kindness

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This week I signed up for a kindness project on Facebook but I realised that I don’t need any projects to be kind.
I am already kind – I always ask people how they are feeling, I always compliment people, I always tip more than necessary and I spend time talking to many random strangers (and probably know way too much about people’s life stories and traumas too).  I sometimes even let taxi drivers move in front of me in the traffic (with a smile and a wave!).
What I do know is that while I am always kind to everyone, I am often not kind enough to myself.
I also get upset by the fact that many, many people are not kind in return.

So my mission was not to be more kind but rather to be more kind with absolutely no expectation – to get joy just from being kind.
On Monday, I asked every patient that attended my group sessions what they remembered about what I had said to them when I did my rounds in the morning.  Every single person remembered exactly what I had said to them – they remembered that I smiled at them, complimented them, spent a few minutes talking to them…. (Sorry to all the other people who are always waiting for me because of the time that I take to spend a moment with each person on my rounds)
It really made me think about how one simple thing has the ability to make a person feel so much better.  You have no idea how much you can change somebody’s day just by a simple act of kindness.
But always remember that just because you are kind, it doesn’t mean that the next person is going to return that kindness.  If they don’t, that is purely a reflection of them and absolutely nothing to do with you.

And please don’t forget to be kind to yourself too – if you can compliment somebody else, give yourself a compliment.  If you forgive someone, please forgive yourself too.

Ready? Smiles on…. Be kind!