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I don't want to be stressed

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I don't want to be stressed

Monthly Archives: April 2017

Be nice – always

20 Thursday Apr 2017

Posted by Andi in Advice, Attitude, Moods, Positivity, Projects, self esteem

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anger, angry people, be nice, being ok, care, indifference, low self esteem, positivity

This week’s mission:
Say something nice to a horrible person.
Yes, that is what I said.
It’s a difficult mission especially when you have spent so much time fantasizing about revenge but stick with me here.

First you need to understand that there are many reasons that a person would be horrible to you:
1. They are genuinely horrible and nasty and they get pleasure from upsetting you.
2. They are indifferent to other people’s needs so they seem horrible but they just don’t notice what others are going through nor do they understand others emotions.
3. They are really stressed and their irritability is making them moody and nasty.
4. They feel bad about themselves and can’t handle anyone else being happy so they pull you down to their level to feel better about themselves.

So how does it help to be nice to any of these people?
If they are genuinely horrible, you counteract that by being genuinely nice. You are not going to change them but you can change your own attitude towards them – killing somebody with kindness?
If they are indifferent, you might be the one person to show them that the world and people in general might be better than they thought and give them a more positive outlook in life.
Somebody who is stressed needs love, care and attention. Be the one to show that you care and that you understand that they are actually nice and this is not their true self. You disarm their anger with kindness and might make a difference in their life (or at least in their day).
And for the person with a low self esteem, by being nice you are showing them that you are ok enough to be yourself. You won’t allow their negativity to pull you down because you are a nice person and you are happy with yourself.  Maybe one day they will be too.

You might learn something about somebody who you previously had disliked. They might learn something about you that they come to like.
Always choose the nice option.
Always be nice.
No matter what. Trust me on this one.

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Am I free?

13 Thursday Apr 2017

Posted by Andi in Advice, Attitude, Freedom, Gratitude, Positivity

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change, Easter, freedom, Passover, Pesach, slavery, space

Happy Easter and a good Pesach to everyone!
As usual, when Pesach (Passover) comes along, so does the conversation about freedom.  During Pesach we discuss what it meant for the Jewish people to be free from slavery in Egypt and we compare it to our lives now.
The question is are we really free?
We may not be actual slaves although many people express that they feel like slaves to their kids, to their partners and to their jobs.  Are we free to spend quality time on our own without limitations?
Are we free because we have a lot of material things or are we slaves to our phones and our possessions (and what it takes to pay off the debts that those possessions create)?
Are we free to express ourselves without being labeled or put into a box by stigma?

We can focus on all the reasons that we are not free or we can learn to appreciate all the reasons that we are free.  So many of us are free from hunger and cold.  We are free to be the person that we want to be if we stop worrying about what everyone thinks of us and we stop worrying about pleasing other people.

We need to create a space to be free.
Whether it is just going outside and taking a deep breath or going for a walk and watching the world go by.
Pause to appreciate what you have.
Celebrate the little things that make your life a bit better (thanks Haagen Dazs salted caramel ice cream).
Remember how far you have come and how truly fabulous you really are – even if nobody can see it and no one acknowledges it.
You are amazingly perfectly imperfect just the way you are!

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