Monthly Archives: October 2017

Taking control

25 Wednesday Oct 2017

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Change, Coping skills

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One of the most difficult things to deal with when life gets really stressful is trying to get ‘control’ back.
By control we mean getting life back to where we feel familiar with what we are doing.  We want things to function the way they have always worked.  And life has a funny (okay really not that funny) way of pushing you way out of your comfort zone which leaves you reeling and fighting to take control back.

But what if you weren’t meant to have control over it in the first place?  As terrible as it sounds, and no matter how much we hate it, when we lose control it is just not worth fighting to get the control back.  You have to find a new way of doing things.
Losing control gives you a new perspective and a different angle on your life.  It gives you a chance to start again.
When it seems that everything is out of control and you feel that you are falling apart tell yourself:

– I take responsibility for myself
– I do not blame others for my problems (not that it isn’t their fault but that you don’t give them power over you)
– I can take control back by changing the way that I do things
– I can make decisions for myself
– My emotions are determined by me

You have no idea how strong you really are or what you are capable of until you go through this.  I really hope that one day you will look back at this stressful time and be really proud of yourself for overcoming this and taking control back in your own unique way.

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World Mental Health day

10 Tuesday Oct 2017

Posted by in Advice, Depression, Lists, Mental health, Success

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Today is World Mental Health Day so here are some ideas on how to mark the day and make it meaningful:

1.  Sit down and discuss your diagnosis with somebody who may not understand mental health issues.  You don’t need to tell them about your problems or what happened to you but just share some information on what it is like to have anxiety, depression, bipolar etc.

2.  Do something nice for somebody who you know is going through a difficult time.  Buy them a cup of tea, share your chocolate, give them a flower, give a compliment.

3.  Do something to nurture yourself today – treat yourself to a manicure, lie down quietly with a book, doodle on a scrap of paper, start a journal, meditate, light a candle next to your bath.

4. Eat or drink something healthy and nourishing.

5. Offer to help somebody in need.

6. Greet every person that you meet with a smile (don’t worry if they don’t smile back – that’s their problem).

7.  Take a moment to count your blessings.  Write them down or share them with somebody.

8.  Spend a few minutes just breathing deeply (preferably outside in the fresh air)

9.  Send an sms or whatsapp to somebody that you haven’t spoken to in a while – tell them that you are thinking of them and that you care.

10.  Tell your manager (or your partner or kids) that it is World Mental Health day and for the sake of your mental health, you will be leaving work/responsibilities early today (okay if not today, make sure you schedule a day off or a few hours off for quality ‘me time’).

Too blessed?

03 Tuesday Oct 2017

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Mindfulness, Stress

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There’s a saying that I hear people using all the time – “too blessed to be stressed”
It’s a lovely saying but I think that sometimes it’s a challenge to feel that way.  It is implying that if you have blessings (which, let’s face it, we all do) that you can’t get stressed.  Everybody feels stress and sometimes your stress can become overwhelming.
What helps is to accept that you are going through a stressful time but also to be mindful enough to recognise what you have right now (other than stress) – notice the good around you.  Even if all you can think about is that you are still breathing.

After a week of experiencing losses and deprivations – from the loss of my dear friend, to my son going overseas and going through the insomnia that comes with those worries and then going through the fast of Yom Kippur with no food or water for 25 hours, I was really aware of what I was missing.  But I was also very aware of what I have.  To be starving but knowing that a great meal is waiting for me at the end of the fast is far more than most people have.  Some people feel that way on a daily basis and they have no end in sight.

No matter how much you are going through, when your mind starts racing ahead to worry about what you haven’t got, learn to focus on what you have.
You may not be too blessed but you definitely are blessed.

You’ve got this! You can go through this stress and this worry and you will come through this on the other side.
Just keep reminding yourself that you can do it, keep focusing on right now.
“I have this, I am in control”