Category Archives: Acts of Kindness

Finding the beauty in tragedy

25 Thursday May 2017

Posted by in Acts of Kindness, Advice, Attitude, Coping skills, Positivity, trauma

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This week started horribly with the death of my granny.  Although she was 100 years old, it is still sad to lose a loved one.
Something so beautiful came out of her death though.
Distant cousins who I had lost touch with years ago reached out to me in our shared grief.  People had such nice things to say and I realised who actually really cares about me.  I spent some quality time making an art work memorial for her and found some peace in doing so.

Then later in the week the world was once again thrown into a state of tragedy when we woke up to the horrible news about the bomb in Manchester.
And once again, there was beauty to be seen everywhere.  One awful person causes devastation, thousands of people retaliate with only goodness and kindness.  From the taxi drivers who offered free rides to people who opened their homes to strangers.

It’s easy to forget how amazing the world and people around us can be when we face loss, stress and trauma.  The kindness of people doesn’t really lessen the devastation and pain but it does give a level of hope.  It is a hope that things are not actually all terrible.  That there is more good than bad in the world.  That we can survive tough times.
Open yourself up to the potential of beauty in every moment.  It will make things just a little bit better.

Meeting a righteous person

16 Thursday Feb 2017

Posted by in Acts of Kindness, Advice, Attitude, Positivity

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Jewish tradition states that at any one time in any generation there are 36 righteous people living on earth.
It’s a bit sad that it is only 36 but that is apparently how many there are.  The thing about these righteous people is that they are hidden – nobody knows who they are and even the righteous person doesn’t know that they are one of the 36.

Does it make a difference?
Maybe it does, because something that I learned while watching an episode of Transparent is that if we don’t know who these people are, we should treat everyone that we know and everyone that we meet as though they are one of these 36.
Okay so sometimes it is very clear who is not one of the 36 – or so we think – but it is not up to us to make that judgement.
It is up to us to be kind, gentle and caring to those around us.
Everyday you have the opportunity to make a difference in somebody else’s life or even in your own life if you can just shift your attitude to a more positive and hopeful one.

There is a great saying that it doesn’t matter if the glass is half full or half empty, the important thing is that it can be refilled.  Having a positive attitude towards people (even if you don’t really like them) can have a huge impact on them and on you.
You never know how that person is going to have an impact on you somewhere along the line.

So here is your mission:
– Be nice!
– Tell your nasty boss how much you like her shoes
– Tell your nagging mother that you appreciate that she cares
– Compliment your annoying colleague on their new hairstyle
– Ask the cashier how their day has been
– Smile at someone who frowns at you
– Challenge yourself to get somebody in the traffic to smile or wave back at you

You are going to be feel wonderful for doing these things and maybe, just maybe, you touched one of the 36…

A lesson from Judith Light

20 Thursday Oct 2016

Posted by in Acts of Kindness, Advice, Attitude, Moods, Positivity

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My husband knows the deal – if any of the celebrities that I adore – Colin Firth, Jayne Torvill or Judith Light – show up at my doorstep, I may just have to leave with them.
I adore Morgan Freeman too but more as the narrator for my life story: “Andi ponders on whether she should have tea or coffee.  She chooses tea and then wonders whether tea is really just a gateway drug to chocolate biscuits….”

Judith Light is a well known and acclaimed actress but the one thing that I have noticed about every single interview that she does is not only her humility but also that she takes a marked interest in the person interviewing her.  It never seems that the interview is just about her, sometimes it is like she is interviewing the interviewer too!
This is an amazing quality that we can all aspire to and is certainly the reason that I really admire her so much.

Nobody is more important than somebody else!
You may have more money, a nicer car, a “better job” (which I put in quotation marks because who is to say whose job is better or more worthy than somebody else’s?), have more experience, be more knowledgeable or have more years than someone else but that does not mean that you are better than them. Ever!

Make it your mission today to take a moment to speak to somebody who you usually wouldn’t talk to.
Do you know the name of the cleaner who works in your office?
Have you asked the security guard how his day is going?
Compliment your boss on his choice of tie (yes, really!)
Smile at a stranger.
Say something nice to the person standing in front of you in the queue.

The idea is that if you are kind to somebody else, inevitably they will be kind to you.  And you will feel better about yourself and your day, and then you will feel a little less stressed.
It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks about you. If only one person thinks that you are worthy (even if that person is you), then you are worthy enough!

My list of wonderful things I’ve done

13 Thursday Oct 2016

Posted by in Acts of Kindness, Attitude, Creativity, Freedom, Lists, Mental health, Positivity, Projects

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Yesterday was the Jewish holy day of Yom Kippur.  It is a day when we have a final opportunity to ask for forgiveness for our sins and contemplate the year ahead and how we are going to live it better than the last.
We spend so much energy focusing on what we have done wrong and very little (or even no time at all) looking at what we did right.  A few days ago, I read an article where the author suggested that we replace our list of sins (which it seems I have done many) with a list of all the good deeds that we have done.

Rabbi Weiss wrote this down as:

We have loved, we have blessed, we have grown, we have spoken positively, we have raised up, we have shown compassion, we have acted enthusiastically, we have been empathetic.We have cultivated truth, we have given good advice.  We have respected, we have learned, we have comforted, we have forgiven.
We have been creative, we have been stirred… we have given full effort, we have supported, we have contributed, we have repaired.

How much better is this list than a list of all of our sins?
Of course we sin, but I am sure that every one of us do far more good than bad.
I think that it is worth reading this list of good deeds every day to remind yourself of how much you have achieved.
Please add your own achievements today – things like:
I have enjoyed tea, I drew a picture of a dragon, I knitted a square for a blanket, I smiled, I laughed, I licked the batter when I baked a cake, I danced, I sang out loud, I made someone feel better….

I am sure your list will be long and wonderful

Kindness project

07 Wednesday Sep 2016

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This week I signed up for a kindness project on Facebook but I realised that I don’t need any projects to be kind.
I am already kind – I always ask people how they are feeling, I always compliment people, I always tip more than necessary and I spend time talking to many random strangers (and probably know way too much about people’s life stories and traumas too).  I sometimes even let taxi drivers move in front of me in the traffic (with a smile and a wave!).
What I do know is that while I am always kind to everyone, I am often not kind enough to myself.
I also get upset by the fact that many, many people are not kind in return.

So my mission was not to be more kind but rather to be more kind with absolutely no expectation – to get joy just from being kind.
On Monday, I asked every patient that attended my group sessions what they remembered about what I had said to them when I did my rounds in the morning.  Every single person remembered exactly what I had said to them – they remembered that I smiled at them, complimented them, spent a few minutes talking to them…. (Sorry to all the other people who are always waiting for me because of the time that I take to spend a moment with each person on my rounds)
It really made me think about how one simple thing has the ability to make a person feel so much better.  You have no idea how much you can change somebody’s day just by a simple act of kindness.
But always remember that just because you are kind, it doesn’t mean that the next person is going to return that kindness.  If they don’t, that is purely a reflection of them and absolutely nothing to do with you.

And please don’t forget to be kind to yourself too – if you can compliment somebody else, give yourself a compliment.  If you forgive someone, please forgive yourself too.

Ready? Smiles on…. Be kind!

Tell your story

06 Wednesday Jul 2016

Posted by in Acts of Kindness, Advice

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This week the world lost a great man.
Elie Wiesel – writer, political activist, Nobel laureate and holocaust survivor – passed away leaving a huge legacy.
He taught so many lessons. Especially about never being quiet when other people suffer and the evils of indifference.
My favourite quote from him is “whoever survives a test, whatever it may be, must tell the story.  It is his duty”

Elie Wiesel
Elie Wiesel used his terrible experiences to teach us a lesson.
Whether you can teach somebody else a lesson from your own experiences or if by telling somebody your story, you help somebody in some other way – it doesn’t matter.
What does matter is that you have a story to tell.
You have no idea how your story might save somebody else.  That is why it is your duty to share it.
Tell your children about your life, share experiences with friends, give hope to somebody who is lost and has no idea how they are going to pull through.
And at the same time, never be afraid to ask somebody else for help – their story can be the thing that saves you.

If we all spent a little more time connecting with others and sharing our lives and experiences, the world might be a little friendlier and hopeful than it was before.

“You’re never fully dressed without a smile”

27 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by in Acts of Kindness, Attitude, Gratitude, Positivity

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I was so touched today when I was part of a discussion where one man thanked another for a compliment he had received from him earlier in the day.
It touched me because so few people give compliments anymore and the person involved said that he could not even remember the last time somebody had said something nice to him (sad world that we live in).
We complain a lot, we focus on the negatives, we fight when we get poor service, and we expect a lot from people in general.
It is so easy to get caught up in that spiral of negativity.

So let us start a new mission:
Everyday, say something nice to somebody.  Not just to somebody that you know or to a family member. Give a compliment to a stranger.
I make it my personal mission to always comment on a cashier’s hairstyle or a security guard’s smile.  I like to tell somebody that they are looking good.  OK, it is probably explains a lot about why I get more marriage proposals than the average person but so be it.
Tell someone that you are proud of them and very importantly, tell your friends and family that you love them!

Everyday that you walk into work or school – smile!
Even if you don’t feel that happy – smile anyway.  Because if you smile, you will probably get a smile back in return.  You will probably feel better for smiling anyway – you know – “turn that frown upside down”?
Or to quote Annie (yes, I watched the original movie numerous times and the latest version twice….) “you’re never fully dressed without a smile”

And my favourite thing to do… always – random acts of kindness.
If you would love somebody to do something nice for you, chances are that somebody would love something nice from you.
Small little things – today it was a packet of peppermints that I gave to a colleague battling with morning sickness.
I promise that you will feel good doing it.
And yes, it is difficult to be the one always giving and not receiving but be the nicer person.

Eleanor Roosevelt wrote in her book You learn by living: Eleven Keys for a more fulfilling life:
“Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product. Paradoxically, the one sure way not to be happy is deliberately to map out a way of life in which one would please oneself completely and exclusively. After a short time, a very short time, there would be little that one really enjoyed. For what keeps our interest in life and makes us look forward to tomorrow is giving pleasure to other people.”

And let me tell you this:
You are wonderful!