Category Archives: Creativity

A letter of inspiration

30 Thursday Nov 2017

Posted by in Advice, Anxiety, Creativity, Projects, Stress

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I want you to do this:
When you are not feeling too stressed or sad and not anxious at all, and hopefully feeling pretty good about yourself, I want you to write a letter of encouragement to yourself that goes something like this:

Dear (me, your name, wonderful person….)
You are an amazing, strong survivor.
You might feel bad right now but that is just how you feel right now.  Your emotion does not define the person that you are – the person who is resilient and has been through this pain before.  The person who is going to make it.
This is why you are brilliant………….
This is what you are going to do to be amazing……….
This is why you are special……………
This is what you are thankful for…………

(Add anything else that you would like to say to yourself that is positive and motivational)

You can do this and you will do this!

I know that we live in the digital age but write the letter on a piece of lovely paper (or on a boring piece of paper that has been lovingly decorated or illustrated).
Add a picture of yourself that makes you feel good about yourself.  If that is really pushing it then add a picture of something (or someone) that makes you smile.
Now put it in an envelope (you remember those things that look like the mail icon on your phone) and write a message on the envelope like “open when you are feeling sad” or “a message for an anxious kind of day” and put it in a safe place or stick it into your journal for exactly that kind of day.


Read whenever necessary.
Repeat as often as needed.

Stress busting smoothies

01 Wednesday Nov 2017

Posted by in Chocolate yeah!, Creativity, Food for the soul, Projects, Recipes, Stress

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I have been asked numerous times for recipes for the smoothies that I drink – often to the horror of the people who are sitting in my therapy group thinking that I am drinking mud, scooping off the top of a murky swamp or even worse, sipping on blood.

For all smoothies, just throw all the ingredients together into your blender and blend until smooth (hence the word smoothie….)

Mud smoothie
This looks like mud because of the mix of purple and green.  What you should know is that any food that is purple or green is a super nutritious food filled with vitamins and anti-oxidants so this is really good for you.  Plus all the vitamin B is brilliant for your nervous system and will help you to deal better with stress.
1 apple cut into eighths (or big chunks)
1 handful of blueberries (I use frozen blueberries)
1 teaspoon of grated ginger root or a good shake of dried ginger
1 teaspoon of spirulina powder
1 teaspoon of chia seeds
1 cup of water

Murky swamp smoothie
Very green – very healthy
1 apple cut into chunks
a few pieces of pineapple
a few pieces of cucumber
a sprig or two of mint if you want
1 teaspoon of spirulina powder, wheat grass powder of a small handful of fresh wheat grass (grow it on your kitchen window sill – it is very satisfying to watch)
1 cup of water or cold green tea

Vampire’s smoothie
Thick and red and blood-like (I’m one day too late for Halloween)
Unbelievable anti-oxidants and superfoods
2 small or 1 big beetroot – peeled and cut
1 carrot – peeled and cut
1 teaspoon of grated ginger (okay I like ginger)
1 cup of water or cold strong rooibos tea
Sprinkle with cinnamon

My son’s version of a healthy smoothie
This is very thick and icy and he says that the effort required to drink it through a straw and the (irritating) noise that he makes when drinking helps him to deal with stress…
1 large heaped teaspoon of the finest cocoa powder
2 flat teaspoons of sugar
A lot of ice (yum, yum)
Cover the ice with milk

My husband’s version of a healthy smoothie
He may have a point here since chocolate is rich is feel good chemicals as we all know
1 cup of milk
a large scoop of chocolate ice cream
drinking chocolate powder
top with grated chocolate once blended

Enjoy!

Start making plans for 2017

08 Thursday Dec 2016

Posted by in Advice, Change, Creativity, Positivity

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Almost every person that I speak to (except for a few brilliant/lucky exceptions) has said that 2016 was a terrible year.
Some won’t even be so kind as to say terrible.
It’s difficult to understand what would make a year so awful.  Is it the year itself? 365 days of misery?
Is there just a general sense of negativity and unease in the world today?

Then what do we want from 2017? Of course… a better year!
So when midnight strikes on the 31st of December 2016, something will magically change and 2017 will start off in a better way?
Unlikely!
If we want 2017 to be better than this year, we have to make conscious and real decisions about what we are going to do to take control over our lives.
A year does not control us.
What happens in the world does not control us – unless we let it do so.

Now is a brilliant time to plan what you are going to start doing differently.  Yes, you have to do something differently because if your life was working out so well, you wouldn’t be reading this!
Do something different.
Make a change.  It doesn’t have to be your job or your relationship but it has to be something.
Some ideas for you:
– Change your hairstyle
– Volunteer at a charity
– Have longer baths
– Make something rather than buy it
– Sign up for an online course
– Make time for friends
– Use more glitter

I look forward to hearing some of your brilliant ideas

My list of wonderful things I’ve done

13 Thursday Oct 2016

Posted by in Acts of Kindness, Attitude, Creativity, Freedom, Lists, Mental health, Positivity, Projects

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Yesterday was the Jewish holy day of Yom Kippur.  It is a day when we have a final opportunity to ask for forgiveness for our sins and contemplate the year ahead and how we are going to live it better than the last.
We spend so much energy focusing on what we have done wrong and very little (or even no time at all) looking at what we did right.  A few days ago, I read an article where the author suggested that we replace our list of sins (which it seems I have done many) with a list of all the good deeds that we have done.

Rabbi Weiss wrote this down as:

We have loved, we have blessed, we have grown, we have spoken positively, we have raised up, we have shown compassion, we have acted enthusiastically, we have been empathetic.We have cultivated truth, we have given good advice.  We have respected, we have learned, we have comforted, we have forgiven.
We have been creative, we have been stirred… we have given full effort, we have supported, we have contributed, we have repaired.

How much better is this list than a list of all of our sins?
Of course we sin, but I am sure that every one of us do far more good than bad.
I think that it is worth reading this list of good deeds every day to remind yourself of how much you have achieved.
Please add your own achievements today – things like:
I have enjoyed tea, I drew a picture of a dragon, I knitted a square for a blanket, I smiled, I laughed, I licked the batter when I baked a cake, I danced, I sang out loud, I made someone feel better….

I am sure your list will be long and wonderful

It’s not about the money (yes, it is)

21 Thursday Apr 2016

Posted by in Advice, Change, Coping skills, Creativity, Freedom, Success

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We are coming up to the Jewish festival of Pesach (Passover) where one of the primary themes is freedom.
So I decided to ask a few people in my group session what freedom meant to them.  Because a lot of them have stressors around money and work, the need for financial freedom was a common answer.
In fact, financial stressors are a huge contributor to people feeling overwhelmed and depressed.

Although my quest to become a fairy godmother (or at least a genie) has so far failed, and I am unable to ‘magic’ these problems away for people, I am going to offer some (not so magical) advice for everyone who is weighed down by money worries:

  • Lying awake at night, worrying about money does not make you any richer.  It makes you more tired and less productive and more likely to feel like giving up.  If you can’t sleep because you are worried, get up and make a list of proactive steps that you can take to take control back.
  • There is a debt counselor at every financial institution.  If you feel like you are drowning in debt, speak to somebody who can give you practical help (and it is not a sign of weakness or failure to ask for help!)
  • By the way, spending more money on things that you don’t need to make you feel better about your (money related) stress is really not going to help you out.  It is an obvious point but still a lot of people shop to feel better.  Yes, retail therapy is… well therapeutic…. but it does nothing to help your situation.  No, you don’t actually need another pair of shoes!
  • Don’t let your financial stress make you become close minded.  You start to think that you will never be OK or you will never cope.  So you put yourself in the “poor box”.  When you allow yourself to be open minded, you become more relaxed and more open to new ideas and new opportunities – you do not need to become stuck because of your current situation.  It is just the situation that you are in at this moment, and it is not what you are going to be forever unless you allow that  to become your reality.
  • Think about all the things that you CAN do.  Can you create opportunities out of your hobbies, interests or talents?  And then, get help using your talents and skills to make extra money (or a whole new career!)  betterwage.com is a brilliant place to figure out what your skills are as well as to access resources that will help you to get started.
  • Find yourself a mentor.  If somebody else is doing what you would like to do or has what you would like to have, step out on a limb and ask them if you could talk to them about how they did it or even better, if they could mentor you in your journey to get what you want.
  • Remember that although we need money to survive (unfortunately) – there is far more to life than being rich.  You could be rich in so many other ways – it is time to count your blessings too.

 

The benefit of creativity

13 Wednesday Apr 2016

Posted by in Creativity, Mindfulness, Positivity, Projects, Quiet and slow, self esteem

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It’s the April slump.  The holidays are a distant memory, the Easter long weekend is over and for us in the Southern hemisphere, winter is on its way.
So to try to make an effort to make life more interesting and give me something to look forward to, I signed up for an art course.
I was initially cautious about doing a course that would require at least an hour of work a day – an hour that I wasn’t sure that I had to spare.
But I signed up anyway and hoped for the best.

And it has been the best thing that I have done in a long time.
It is amazing how I have managed to find time that I didn’t know existed – it is never a full hour but a few minutes a few times a day adds up.  It seems that watching TV is not that important (and neither is doing the dishes).
I always go on about the therapeutic value of creativity but I often ignore the importance of taking the time to do it myself.  Just sitting quietly with my paintbrushes (and generally making a mess) has been so good for me.
One of the most important things about this course for me has been the fact that I have had the opportunity to meet like-minded people.  People who will tell me how wonderful my art work is, even though I am clearly not an artist.  There is not one bit of negativity around.  Even when someone is really not that good, they still are praised for trying and for their effort.
It has been so good for my self esteem – all that positive feedback can do no harm at all!

So, over to you.  I’d like you to try out some of the beneficial things that I have gained from doing this course.
Your project for this week is either to:

  1. Make some time to create something – it does not have to be a work of art but it does have to be something different to what you usually do.
  2. Find a few people to compliment.  You don’t have to lie, or bend the truth.  Just look for something good in a few good people and tell them what you see.  It gives you the opportunity to spread love and boost somebody else’s self esteem
  3. Find a course where you can learn a new skill or develop a skill that you have neglected because you are too busy being responsible
  4. Do all of the above!

I look forward to hearing what you are up to.

Happy 2016!

06 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Being brave, Change, Creativity, Life journey, Self growth

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Happy new year everyone!
I hope that this is going to be a year of self discovery, learning and finding peace.

Those of you who have been around me or have been reading my blog for years (thank you very much!) know that I hate the concept of new year’s resolutions.
Yet, I make them anyway because when do you get a greater time to make change than from the very beginning of a brand new year?
That doesn’t mean that you can’t make resolutions whenever you want – make them as often as you want. Don’t worry either if you fail on one of your resolutions, keep trying or take the failure as a clear indicator that you need to do things differently for a change.

Here are some of the things that I have decided to do for 2016 (and I would love it if you joined me in one or two or all of them):

1.  Care less.  It sounds horrible but I know that I care too much about too many people.  My very kind friends have told me that caring is part of my personality and that I shouldn’t change but I am trying to care a little bit less so that I make a little more time for myself and my happiness.

2.  Always (ok, close to often) have well manicured nails – the first thing that people see when they reach out their hand to greet you is your hands.  A well groomed hand says a lot.  Buy that funky coloured nail varnish…

3. Smile more – before people shake your hands, they notice your face (I hope).  Smile! Even if you don’t necessarily feel like smiling, if you make yourself look happier, you generally feel more positive and so does the person who is looking at you.  Unless you are grimacing – don’t grimace!

4. You may meet shy people who don’t look you in the eye and don’t extend their hand to you.  They tend to look down when they talk to you – which leads me to my next point: wear awesome shoes!
If you don’t feel awesome, then wear nervous breakdown shoes, which is a whole other story.

5. Learn a new skill this year – creativity is the one thing that absolutely keeps me calm so I am going to learn a new craft.  You can learn a new skill, gain a new hobby, sign up for a new course (remember that there are thousands of free online courses) or just teach yourself something that you’ve always wanted to do.

6. Do something that scares you – choose to do the thing that you have been putting off, confront someone who needs confronting,  go ahead and book that bungee jump (I won’t be joining you but feel free to do it anyway)

7. Be less worried about order and control and therefore, I am going to calmly only have 7 points on my list even though my logical brain is telling me to keep it even – a nice number like 10.  Sometimes, we have to live a little chaotically and see what will happen and where life will take us with less planning and less need to have control.

I would love to hear what your plans for the year are.
Let’s make it wonderful!

A purple shade of grey

25 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by in Creativity, Freedom, Shades of Grey, Stress

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In a hectic and stressful world where things always seem black and white, we have to work so hard to find a balance and become more “grey”.
It seems that we are surrounded by right vs wrong, love vs hate, success vs failure and abled vs disabled arguments all of the time.
Obviously, we can either take sides or find our own balance in the equilibrium.
So we become one of the millions (yes millions, not 50!) shades of grey – trying to live the best life that we can without rocking the boat too much.

But let me tell you something (and this is tough from somebody who loves the colour grey) – grey is boring.  Yes, there are millions of shades of it but it is basically a mix of two non-colours anyway.
A lot of your stress comes from trying to keep the balance, from trying to please people and keep everyone around you happy, trying to make sure that all of your dependants have what they need, trying to meet your manager’s deadlines and targets, trying to live up to your parent’s expectations.
Basically, trying to be superb at everything yet never really being content or satisfied with your life.
Grey is stressful, black and white is more stressful.
So what happens if you are more of a purple shade of grey? (And I like purple even more than grey) Or a sparkly pink? Or a vivid red?
What happens if you start doing things differently?
The great entrepreneurs of this world are doing exactly that.
What makes them so successful? The fact that they fit in?  Not at all – it is the fact that they do things differently!
The happiest people are those that live their life with no need to fit into the idea of “normal”.

Purple shade of grey

One of the greatest entrepreneurs Steve Jobs said this:
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

So next time somebody calls you crazy, say “thank you very much!”

The battered guardian angel

22 Thursday Oct 2015

Posted by in Attitude, Creativity, Life journey, Life Lessons, Quiet and slow

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Last week I was taking some very much needed time out for what I call therapy – painting and drawing.
I had decided to paint a picture of an angel (my guardian angel as I see her) and write a story about how grateful I am to have a guardian angel to look after me.
Note that I say that my guardian angel is a female – I like to picture her as young, pretty and graceful when in reality, my guardian angel is more likely to be a beer swilling overweight man (no offense intended).
I finally got the picture the way I wanted it to be when I spilled some grey paint on the angel’s cheek.  So, I furiously started rubbing at the paper when my son walked in and asked what I was doing.
I answered that I was trying to erase the mess that I made, when he came out with a profound statement.
He said: “Leave it! What if your guardian angel really looks like that? Maybe she has a bruise.”

angel

I sat for a while and contemplated what he said.  The perfectionist in me was still trying to figure out how to fix the problem when I decided to take his advice and leave it.
Then it dawned on me that there is a good chance that my guardian angel has more than one bruise.  And that is because I drag her through all kinds of things.
I realised that I spend a lot of energy in my life fighting what should naturally happen.
I often try to take control over things that I can’t control.  I fight a chronic illness, when I should rather be listening to my body and be more gentle on myself.
I know that I do things that I shouldn’t be doing and I put more pressure on myself than absolutely necessary.
And right then, when I stared at my imperfect angel, I vowed to stop.

It is not easy to let go of control.
It is difficult to let things be, to let relationships run their natural course, to rest when we need to rest, to be gentle on ourselves and to be open to the path that life is taking on us.
It may not be the route that you intended but it is the life that you are meant to be living.
Live more gracefully and more graciously.
Let all of the other nonsense go!

 

Please be more creative

13 Wednesday May 2015

Posted by in Advice, Creativity, Projects

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I have to say that I really battled with writing this week.
I just could not make myself sit down in front of the computer to write.  So Monday happened, and then Tuesday happened too and finally on Wednesday, I decided not to write at all.  I thought that I would rather create something.
I started with a blank sheet (OK, it was a blue blank sheet) of paper at my desk away from the computer.  Of course I had to write a piece of advice and then I started drawing around it.  Now  I decided (as I tend to do) that I needed to add an owl to my picture .  I stepped away for a while and then I had to add washi tape.
(By the way, in case you didn’t know this important rule yet, I will gladly share it with you:  You can NEVER have too much washi tape!)
I had to use my chalk pens so chalk accents were added to my writing and then I decided that I needed to sew on the page (yes I sew on paper, no I am not crazy).
And suddenly, without even thinking or worrying about the words that I needed to write came pouring out…

You are a survivor

I think that we live in a crazy, hectic, super stressful world where we are expected to work hard and achieve goals that are set for us by other people.  We work, earn money, pay the bills (hopefully) and then start the cycle again.
I rarely meet somebody who tells me that they are living a life that they are passionate about.  Maybe passionate is too strong a word but I don’t even come across that many people who tell me that they enjoy their lives.
Except for artists and crafty people who make time to do things that make them happy.  I’m not saying that we all need to become artists or that we even can be artists, but I think that there is a need in every person to create or to be unique or to do things differently.  Ask any of my patients that I have treated what therapy they enjoyed the most or which therapy was most meaningful to them and the majority will say creative therapy over talk therapy.
Unfortunately most people do not even have the time, or allow themselves the time to do things that they enjoy.

Do things differently and creatively – even if it doesn’t seem that it is helping you to achieve your aim, by focusing away from what you “should” be doing, the answers often come out really clearly.
Please make time for the things that make you smile.