Category Archives: Stress

Coping with feeling overwhelmed

22 Thursday Jun 2017

Posted by in Advice, Coping skills, Lists, Projects, Stress

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Stress can make you feel so overwhelmed that you feel like you are going to blow up or that you want to hibernate or run away forever.
There isn’t an easy answer to dealing with such huge problems but there are some manageable steps that you can take:

1. Remove yourself from the situation.  If you can get away from the room or the building that you are sitting in or stay away from your computer or phone for a few minutes then do it.  Take a short walk (slam the door on the way out if you really have to), regroup, breathe deeply and return.

2.  Stay away from social media for a while.  It really doesn’t help for you to see people whose lives seem to be awesome when yours feels like it is falling apart.  You also don’t need to be part of anyone else’s drama.

3.  Declutter! Clear your desk, delete emails and messages (not the important ones), get rid of the things around you that are unnecessary.  When your mind feels cluttered with your problems, you don’t need physical objects cluttering your space too.

4. Talk to somebody.  It doesn’t mean that you have to offload all of your problems on them but just tell someone that you are not coping and that you are stressed. They might be feeling the same way too. If there is absolutely nobody to talk to then write it down or illustrate it so that you can still express yourself.

5.  Make time (no matter what) just to do something for yourself.  It might just be a few minutes but it is essential that you do something nice for yourself (I’m not talking about buying another pair of shoes! Though who am I to judge you?)

6.  Find a project that will keep you motivated.  Do you have a room that needs painting?  Sort out your photos.  Create something quirky.  Learn a new skill.  Play a game.  Take up a new sport…

I know that you feel so tired and stressed and overwhelmed right now but it will pass.  Just do the best that you can to cope in this moment.
I know that you can do it!

Your boss is not going to like me but…

21 Wednesday Sep 2016

Posted by in Advice, Change, Freedom, Mental health, Quiet and slow, Stress

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Your boss is not going to like me but….
Take a break!

Every day of my life I work with people who are battling with burn out and severe stress because of work.  And it just shouldn’t be that way.
As much as we all need to earn a living and pay our bills (and debts), our jobs cannot be our lives.
Unfortunately it has become that way – we live our lives for our work.  The same work that stresses you to a point that it makes you sick!
A very sad quote from Ellen Goodman makes this so clear:
“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it”

I just don’t think that it is worth it.
Surely your life is worth more than that?
It is time to take a break !  Get out of the office for lunch, sit under a tree and take in the world, have a cup of coffee (or even an ice cream) away from your desk.  Step away from the desk!

And when you are not at work – stop thinking about work.  I doubt that you love your boss that much that you need to fantasize about them at 4 in the morning – even if you are fantasizing about revenge.
Find something that is absolutely not work related and make time to do it.  Whether it is creative or energetic, you need to have something that gives you meaning other than work. Something that can give your mind and body a rest from the day to day endless stressful routine.

So, I’m sorry if I am going to upset your boss but it is time that employers started valuing their staff more and realising that by pushing their staff to breaking point, they are going to get less achieved in the long run.  And if nobody else is going to teach them that lesson, then it might as well be you.
Today is a good day to take your life back!

Quick stress management

17 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Advice, Quiet and slow, Stress

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In the fast paced, super stressed world that we live in, we need some quick solutions in order to deal with stress.
Here are some of my favourite easy to do, quick stress management techniques:

Take a deep breath – stop holding your breath. Yes, we really spend ages not breathing properly.

Put down that phone, step away from the screen.  The world has not been known to end if you don’t answer that message right now

A drop of lavender oil on your wrist is really soothing

Find someone to hug – maybe not a random stranger (though who am I to say don’t do it?) and if there is nobody to hug, then hug yourself

Walk outside in the sunshine – get away from artificial light

Stay away (as much as possible), ignore or generally avoid people who drain your energy with their negativity

Write a one line affirmation – “I am amazing”, “I am a survivor”, “I am strong”, “I am brave”

Decorate your affirmation with glitter and washi tape (OK, maybe that’s just me who does that)

Just focus on this moment, right now and tell yourself “I am OK”

RIP Gugu Zulu

20 Wednesday Jul 2016

Posted by in Advice, Life journey, Life Lessons, Mindfulness, Quiet and slow, Stress

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I am so devastated by the death of Gugu Zulu – a great racing car driver but more importantly, a great person.  A man who lived large.
He died while climbing Mount Kilimanjaro for a good cause on Mandela Day.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BH5nOWfg13O/?taken-by=guguzulu

If nothing else, what we should gain from his death is that we have absolutely no idea what tomorrow is going to bring.
One minute we are here, the next minute, we are not.
One day we are amazingly successful, the next, we may have lost everything.

So the question is:
If the only thing we know is right now, then why are we spending right now worrying about what might happen tomorrow?
Why do lead such stressful lives without ever slowing down to enjoy the small things (and the big things)?
There is a huge industry that is making money off our stress by supplying every supplement and energy booster you can think of when we should be boosting our own energy levels through slowing down, better eating, exercise and having a better attitude towards life.
We should be building resilience towards stress rather than just wishing it away (while downing another cup of coffee to keep us going).
Our lives should be worth so much more than the value that we give attribute to them.

So, next time you say “I don’t want to be stressed” you should do something about it!
Make today count!

My end of year message to you:

23 Wednesday Dec 2015

Posted by in Advice, Anxiety, Attitude, Being brave, Depression, Gratitude, Stress, trauma

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This is my final post for the year so I would like to take the opportunity to say thank you to every single one of you wonderful people who are reading this.
Some of you have contributed, some have given me ideas, some people have written comments and given feedback and some people just quietly read what I have to say every week.
It doesn’t matter how much you give, the important thing is that every one of you matters to me – you are the reason that this blog keeps going and you are definitely the motivation that I need when when my screen stares back blankly at me.
I am constantly inspired by the survivors in this world – the people who stand up no matter how many times life beats them down and if you are reading this, the only reason you hang out here is that you are a survivor too.  You are part of a great community of survivors who battle depression, stress, low self esteem, anxiety and all the stigma that comes with it.  And you battle it with dignity and grace.

My wish to you all is that no matter what your religion is, that you have a good festive season.  Use the time to really notice what is important to you, to celebrate the little things and to take your own health and happiness more seriously.

When I saw this quote about Morgan Freeman narrating your story, I smiled – mainly because I always fancy Morgan Freeman narrating my day to day routine.
(“Andi gets into her car and grimaces at the thought of another morning of fighting rude taxi drivers on the road, yet she turns the ignition and goes on anyway”)
I also fancy that even if I’m not doing anything awesome, it is still worth having a narrator.  Not all stories are going to be happy ever after love stories are they? (Although we may wish them to be so)
Your current story may be an action adventure (read: traumatic and stressful time) or a horror (read: traumatic and stressful time) but whatever it is, it is going to leave you with a legacy that I hope you will end up not regretting.

morgan freeman

Keep moving forward, keep learning and keep growing – I know that you are awesome!

A purple shade of grey

25 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by in Creativity, Freedom, Shades of Grey, Stress

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In a hectic and stressful world where things always seem black and white, we have to work so hard to find a balance and become more “grey”.
It seems that we are surrounded by right vs wrong, love vs hate, success vs failure and abled vs disabled arguments all of the time.
Obviously, we can either take sides or find our own balance in the equilibrium.
So we become one of the millions (yes millions, not 50!) shades of grey – trying to live the best life that we can without rocking the boat too much.

But let me tell you something (and this is tough from somebody who loves the colour grey) – grey is boring.  Yes, there are millions of shades of it but it is basically a mix of two non-colours anyway.
A lot of your stress comes from trying to keep the balance, from trying to please people and keep everyone around you happy, trying to make sure that all of your dependants have what they need, trying to meet your manager’s deadlines and targets, trying to live up to your parent’s expectations.
Basically, trying to be superb at everything yet never really being content or satisfied with your life.
Grey is stressful, black and white is more stressful.
So what happens if you are more of a purple shade of grey? (And I like purple even more than grey) Or a sparkly pink? Or a vivid red?
What happens if you start doing things differently?
The great entrepreneurs of this world are doing exactly that.
What makes them so successful? The fact that they fit in?  Not at all – it is the fact that they do things differently!
The happiest people are those that live their life with no need to fit into the idea of “normal”.

Purple shade of grey

One of the greatest entrepreneurs Steve Jobs said this:
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

So next time somebody calls you crazy, say “thank you very much!”

Choose kindness

18 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Positivity, Stress

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I was really unsure on whether I should join the many voices who are having their share of opinions on Paris (and Lebanon, Turkey, Nigeria and Kenya and everywhere where people are oppressed or victims of terror and crime).
I think that enough is being said by everyone else and probably more passionately and eloquently than I can.
Although we live in frightening times, I still honestly believe that there are far more good, kind and caring people than there are bad, evil and hateful ones.
We cannot fight hate with more hate, lack of understanding or general ignorance.

One of the things that I absolutely love about this blog is the diversity of my readers – I have readers and followers from all over the world, from all religions and races and of all ages.
And I love that!
Everybody has stress – no matter where you come from, or what your life circumstances are, you are going to be exposed to stress.
Because after all, we are all human.
And it would do us good to remember that.  Nobody has the right to think that they have more rights than anybody else.

Understand this – whether it is a nation hating another nation, a terrorist organisation breeding a generation of killers, a neighbour fighting their neighbour, your manager constantly giving you a hard time or your family not respecting you….
It is not your story!
You can only be the best person that you can be.  If somebody else doesn’t like you for being you, it has nothing to do with you – it is not your story!

Continue to be the wonderful, kind and caring person that you are.
Continue to be your unique self.
Continue to spread love and acts of kindness to all people around you no matter who they are.
That is good enough.

Acupressure – a quick fix for stress

11 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by in Advice, Anxiety, Stress

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Sometimes you just need a quick fix when you are stressed or anxious (and no, I’m not talking about drugs and alcohol).
Acupressure is a wonderful alternative treatment that can help you with hundreds of ailments using hundreds of points on your body.
I find acupressure beneficial, especially when combined with aromatherapy.
It is not necessarily going to cure the problem but it goes a long way to help you to feel more comfortable.
There is also a huge fear when you are stressed or anxious that you are going to become overwhelmed or lose control.  By knowing some simple techniques to help yourself, you are taking some of the control back.

These are my favourite (and most convenient and easy to find) points:

1.  Headaches:  Press hard on your finger tips for 30 seconds at a time OR press down on the middle of the 4th bone of your index finger (yes, you have 4 bones in your finger – count them) putting pressure on the inside of your finger.

2.  Anxiety:  Pulse push (in other words push, release and push again) on the spot between your eyebrows (that is presuming that you have 2 eyebrows – if you have one, figure out where the middle is – basically above your nose) This point is also helpful for treating insomnia so if you can’t fall asleep, breathe deeply and press between your eyebrows!
Another brilliant pressure point for anxiety that helps you to breathe more deeply is just above the point where the bones of your index finger and thumb meet.
Press this point while breathing in, hold your breath and then release while breathing out.
(You can comfortably do this when you are sitting at your desk or facing your manager across the boardroom table)

3.  Feeling stressed? Measure one thumb width below your wrist crease (where your wrist bends) and put pressure just under that spot for 30 seconds.

A brilliant combination of pressure and aromatherapy oil would be to use lavender oil for relaxation or jasmine oil for stress.

Feel free to print this picture to have a reference whenever you need it.
Good luck!

Acupressure points

Slaying dragons

04 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by in Attitude, Being brave, Fear, Stress

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I started Monday with a quote for motivation about how we should go and slay dragons.
In other words, we should start the week ready to face our fears and deal with our stressors.

dragons

It definitely put a spring in my step (well, as much spring as there can be on a Monday morning) and I was really motivated to have a much more positive week than I had last week.
Of course being me, I also felt the need to document my feelings through art and I decided that I should draw a picture of a dragon so that I could have a reminder of what I needed to do.
I spent some time looking at pictures of dragons and I was confident that I had an idea of how mean (but not too mean), and scary (but not too scary) I wanted my dragon to look.
So far, so good…. Until I took out my sketch pad and happened to grab a purple pencil (of course it would be purple!) and before I know it, my dragon is most un-scary and un-mean dragon that ever existed.
So, my dragon is obviously not meant to be ferocious – in fact it was quite the opposite.

photo 1

Which made me think (as I do) that I start off Monday generally feeling a bit anxious about what is going to happen in the week, I always long for the weekend to be just one day longer and I definitely have my share of feeling sorry for myself.
But my dragon is not even scary.
How blessed am I to have the stress that I do?  Compared to other people, my stress (my dragon) is hardly a thing at all.
Even my son laughed at my dragon and told me that his dragon was far more vicious than mine.
I laughed back because how much stress can he have compared to me?
He quickly reminded me that although his stress did not seem like much to me, to him it was big enough to worry him.

photo 2

Everybody has stress but not everybody experiences stress the same way.
We are so blessed to have the things that we do have and the opportunities that are presented to us.
Would you rather have work stress or be worried about how you are going to survive living in a war torn country?
Would you rather have issues in your relationship or be stressing about where you are going to sleep for the night, or where you are going to get food?

Yes, our dragons may not be huge, and we should be grateful for that, but they are still our dragons.
It is not a competition about whose dragons are bigger or scarier.
We still need to gather all the weapons that we need to slay whatever dragon we have in our lives.

Be bold, be brave, be a warrior!
I know that you can do it!

Dealing with invisible illness

30 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by in Advice, Depression, Illness, Mental health, Stress

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This week is Invisible Illness Week – a week to highlight illness that nobody else sees.

http://invisibleillnessweek.com/
And because nobody can see it, there is a good chance that nobody (or most people at least) really don’t understand what you are going through.
How can they? There is nothing to see.
In order to be seen as sick, it is really helpful to have a cast on at least one limb, a drip stand would be useful, an awful sounding cough might help too.
Unfortunately, many people have an invisible illness and they suffer in silence.  In fact, most invisible illnesses become worse if you are stressed.
If you are suffering on your own, feeling tense and angry, it is only going to make your symptoms worse.

While I think it is so important to have awareness weeks for illness, it is more important for you to take responsibility for yourself:

1.  Speak up!  People can’t see what you are going through so you need to let them know.  You don’t have to spend ages moaning and complaining but you do need to let people around you know that you are battling.

2.  Ask for help!  There are no prizes for doing everything by yourself – believe me, if there were I would be overwhelmed by the amount of prizes that I would get.
Tell people what you need and what they can do for you – people often like feeling that they have an important role to play and by giving them a practical task to help you, they will feel good and it will benefit you – win-win!

3.  Educate!  You have a responsibility to educate people about your illness.  People are only going to understand if you become an advocate for your illness.

4.  Be gentle on yourself.  If you are going through a tough time, take some time out to recover and don’t (DON’T!) feel guilty about not being the perfect parent, spouse, partner, colleague etc.

5.  Putting other people’s needs before your own is not going to make you any better.  It is nice to be nice but know that you don’t need to be nice to other people to feel good about yourself – you are wonderful! That is enough.

6.  Take breaks!  If you don’t make the decision to take a break to look after your health, your body will force you to take a break when you burn out or your immune system crashes – it is your choice.

7.  You are NOT your illness!  You may feel that it totally dominates your life but it is a guest in your body, not the general manager.