Tag Archives: care

Be nice – always

20 Thursday Apr 2017

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Moods, Positivity, Projects, self esteem

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This week’s mission:
Say something nice to a horrible person.
Yes, that is what I said.
It’s a difficult mission especially when you have spent so much time fantasizing about revenge but stick with me here.

First you need to understand that there are many reasons that a person would be horrible to you:
1. They are genuinely horrible and nasty and they get pleasure from upsetting you.
2. They are indifferent to other people’s needs so they seem horrible but they just don’t notice what others are going through nor do they understand others emotions.
3. They are really stressed and their irritability is making them moody and nasty.
4. They feel bad about themselves and can’t handle anyone else being happy so they pull you down to their level to feel better about themselves.

So how does it help to be nice to any of these people?
If they are genuinely horrible, you counteract that by being genuinely nice. You are not going to change them but you can change your own attitude towards them – killing somebody with kindness?
If they are indifferent, you might be the one person to show them that the world and people in general might be better than they thought and give them a more positive outlook in life.
Somebody who is stressed needs love, care and attention. Be the one to show that you care and that you understand that they are actually nice and this is not their true self. You disarm their anger with kindness and might make a difference in their life (or at least in their day).
And for the person with a low self esteem, by being nice you are showing them that you are ok enough to be yourself. You won’t allow their negativity to pull you down because you are a nice person and you are happy with yourself.  Maybe one day they will be too.

You might learn something about somebody who you previously had disliked. They might learn something about you that they come to like.
Always choose the nice option.
Always be nice.
No matter what. Trust me on this one.

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Choose kindness

18 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Positivity, Stress

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I was really unsure on whether I should join the many voices who are having their share of opinions on Paris (and Lebanon, Turkey, Nigeria and Kenya and everywhere where people are oppressed or victims of terror and crime).
I think that enough is being said by everyone else and probably more passionately and eloquently than I can.
Although we live in frightening times, I still honestly believe that there are far more good, kind and caring people than there are bad, evil and hateful ones.
We cannot fight hate with more hate, lack of understanding or general ignorance.

One of the things that I absolutely love about this blog is the diversity of my readers – I have readers and followers from all over the world, from all religions and races and of all ages.
And I love that!
Everybody has stress – no matter where you come from, or what your life circumstances are, you are going to be exposed to stress.
Because after all, we are all human.
And it would do us good to remember that.  Nobody has the right to think that they have more rights than anybody else.

Understand this – whether it is a nation hating another nation, a terrorist organisation breeding a generation of killers, a neighbour fighting their neighbour, your manager constantly giving you a hard time or your family not respecting you….
It is not your story!
You can only be the best person that you can be.  If somebody else doesn’t like you for being you, it has nothing to do with you – it is not your story!

Continue to be the wonderful, kind and caring person that you are.
Continue to be your unique self.
Continue to spread love and acts of kindness to all people around you no matter who they are.
That is good enough.

Depression – Part Two

28 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by in Attitude, Being brave, Depression, Mental health

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Last week’s blog about depression reached over 36 000 views which is a record for I don’t want to be stressed.
Obviously, I was elated that so many people had read my blog but it also saddened me to think that of all the blogs that I write, the one about depression would touch the most people.
Clearly this is a topic that needs to be spoken about and put in bright lights more often.
So, I will start here:
Depression is a real illness – it is not a mood or a random feeling, it is not attention seeking behaviour or feeling sorry for yourself and it is definitely not anything to be ashamed about!

The same goes for every mental illness in the book.  If an estimated 33% of all people have some kind of mental illness then there is a good chance that the people around you who are intolerant of your problems, probably have a mental illness too.  They are just not as brave as you.  They are your neighbours, your friends, your employers and your colleagues .  And while it might be obvious that your crazy aunt on your father’s side of the family is mentally unstable, it may not be so noticeable in the person who manages the entire company that you work for.

I believe that in a world where people are so intolerant of each other – whether it is because of race, religion, gender, social class or illness – we (yes, that means you!) need to be the shining examples.
We have to be the people who ask for help, who reach out to others, who express much more love than hatred.
We need to be the smilers, the huggers, the grateful, the hopeful and the true survivors.

Please spread the word. Nobody needs to be alone because of an illness.

Thoughts on Mandela Day

18 Friday Jul 2014

Posted by in Attitude, Gratitude, Positivity, Projects

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What can I say about this week?
I have to say that I was really battling to come up with something to write because it’s been an awful week filled with war, violence and hatred.

But since today is Mandela’s birthday and we celebrate a man who left a legacy of caring and giving, it is a great opportunity to choose today to be the day that we start with a new attitude towards all the horrible things in the world and find something positive to focus on.

The directive in South Africa is for everybody to try to donate 67 minutes of their time to a charity or help out in your community.
It brings an incredible spirit of togetherness and community for the givers as well as the receivers involved.
Following the events of the week, I would love to suggest the following:
Even if you cannot give anything close to 67 minutes, my challenge to you is to spend some time talking to somebody who has a different opinion to you or someone from a different background or culture.  Not to fight or argue, but just to understand.
Or spend some time just showing somebody that you care about them.
And most importantly, because this is the I don’t want to be stressed blog – spend some time doing something to help yourself too!
I think this is a time when we really have to realise how blessed we are.
For every morning that you wake up and your life is not in danger, you are blessed.
For every opportunity that is presented to you, no matter how stressful it is, you are blessed.
Every time you arrive at your destination safely, you are blessed.

Times are definitely more stressful these days.  Even if you are not living in a dangerous situation, our lives are more stressful than ever.
So it is up to us to make the most of what we’ve got.
We need to find beauty in the everyday.
We need to celebrate what we’ve got rather than mourn for what we wish that we could have.
Enjoy the small things, celebrate tiny achievements.
Laugh, sing and dance!
Spend time with people who love and appreciate you.
Do something that makes you happy.
Give some of your time to make other people smile.

Let us make this our mission in honour of Mandela’s memory.