Tag Archives: chocolate

Avoid burnout

04 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by in Advice, Coping skills, Life Lessons

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This has truly been an awful week because my son has been sick.
He literally hasn’t slept for a week (which means that neither have I) and any free time that I would have had has been taken up by giving him medication and applying ointment to his skin.
And it all culminated in the mother of all bad days yesterday when literally everything felt like it was going wrong.

Then guess what happened?
Yesterday ended, I survived, my son survived and he managed to sleep for about 6 hours.
Yesterday, I really felt that I was going crazy and just like that, things improved today without any intervention from me.

Life is like that – there are going to be days that are absolute disasters and times when you can’t even imagine ever getting through and then they end and you can’t believe that you actually made it.
Of course it can happen the other way round too.
Life can merrily be going along and suddenly something happens to turn it all upside down.

I think the most important lesson that we can learn is just being able to let things go and try not to freak out about needing control all of the time.
What did I do yesterday when I got home?
Not much!
The laundry wasn’t folded, the dishes were not washed and dinner was about as unspectacular as you can get.
I knew that I needed to have some time just doing nothing in order to avoid burn out.
And that is the key – we can’t control life and we are not necessarily going to control how our bodies are going to react to stress but we can certainly do our absolute best to make sure that we do not burn out.
That means taking time out to recover, giving up the idea of perfection, accepting that not everything is going to get done and definitely asking for help when you need it.

The idea of “this too shall pass” is very clichéd but also very true.
Until it does pass, it is your responsibility to be the best you can be to yourself – be gentle, be kind and really nice to yourself.  Think bubble baths, delicious food, sitting and watching the sunset, gentle walks, hanging out with nice people (or even better animals) and definitely no housework!

Quick fix stress management

05 Wednesday Aug 2015

Posted by in Advice, Chocolate yeah!, Projects

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I can talk a lot about changing your attitude towards life and dealing better with stress.  Yet, sometimes we just need a quick fix to deal with stress and anxiety.
I’m going to share some of these with you but know that there may be something that is specifically calming to you that may be irritating and absolutely not calming to somebody else.  Don’t be afraid to do your own version of stress management.
I know somebody (OK, I am married to somebody) who calms himself down by playing drums – which I find particularly irritating and very noisy but he finds calming and relaxing.

A really good idea is to make a box to keep some things in that you know will instantly calm you down.  And of course you can decorate that box to make it more special, but you can also just throw a few things into your desk drawer or your handbag too…

Lavender oil – smell it, put a drop on your wrist, a drop on your pillow to help you to sleep, a few drops in your bath before bedtime (you can thank me later)

Chamomile tea is super relaxing (and tastes horrible enough to make you think that it is medicinal).  A spoon of honey will make it taste better.

Chocolate (need I say anymore?) – especially dark 70% or more cocoa solids melting on your tongue

The Acupressure point for worry and anxiety is on your wrist crease on the side of your little finger.  Spend a few minutes massaging it while taking deep breaths

Having said that – take deep breaths.  Force the air out of your lungs from the diaphragm and then take huge breaths in and out

I learned some of the lovely art of Jin Shin Jyutsu (a Japanese art of self healing) this weekend.  Holding your index finger can be calming

Squeeze a stress ball (learn how to make one here: http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Balloon-Stress-Ball )

Listen to calming music

Doodle – just grab some paper and start drawing.  And while you are at it, write a list of things that are good about your life

Get outside, walk, breathe in fresh air and please don’t look at your phone while you are doing this – interruptions are unnecessary!

Let me know what else you add to this list.

Can cheesecake make you happy?

12 Thursday Jun 2014

Posted by in Chocolate yeah!, Creativity, Food for the soul, Recipes

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Can cheesecake actually make you happy?
I’m sure that if I looked hard enough and consulted Dr Google, I would find all kinds of scientific reasons why cheesecake could be good for you – things like boosting serotonin levels….
The simple answer to this question is:
Definitely! But (of course there has to be a but!) it is not just the eating of the cheesecake that can make you happy, there is a lot to say about making cheesecake.
There is the beating and crushing of the biscuits (by hand of course) to ease your frustrations of the day.
Blending those biscuit crumbs with warm butter and gently soothing it into a lovely, smooth base; the choreographed elegance of folding cream into cream cheese; and not forgetting the most important step – the licking of the spoon.

Last week was a Jewish holiday – Shavuos – where part of the custom is to eat dairy foods (read: cheesecake, and a lot of it) so when I usually write and post this blog, I was eating!
Stepping away from the mundane, stressful routine of life and just spending some time creating something beautiful can be one of the best ways of dealing with stress and giving your mind a chance just to calm down.
If baking is not your thing, then make sure that there is something that you can do to move away from the stressful and have something amazing and creative to show for it at the end.
This is your reward for all of the hard work, effort and exhaustion that goes into just living your life.
It can’t just be about trying to avoid stress and continually trying to cope with the all of the stressful work/family/financial/social situations.
It needs to be about letting yourself enjoy moments and to create those moments that are enjoyable.

So while I try to settle back into the hectic routine of actually working a full week, here is my recipe for a

Chocolate, chocolate, espresso cheesecake:

Base:
250g chocolate biscuits – crushed in which ever way you find best
160g butter (melted)

Combine the biscuit crumbs with the melted butter and press into a 20cm tin
Place into the fridge until firm

Cheesecake filling:
250g cream cheese
1 cup cream
3 eggs (beaten)
1 cup sugar
2 tablespoons espresso (drink the rest of the espresso while making the cake)
1 slab of milk chocolate (about 180g) – or white chocolate, or dark chocolate, or a mixture (is it really fair to have to choose?)

Place all ingredients, except the chocolate into a bowl and beat until smooth
Pour this glorious mix over your base
Melt the chocolate and get creative by pouring it into the cheesecake mixture – I like to get a marble look but swirls, dots, or just random lumps of chocolate are good
Bake at 200°C for about 40 minutes until firm.
Let it cool completely and place in the fridge.

Glaze:
½ cup sweetened coffee (or coffee flavoured liqueur or chocolate liqueur)
250g dark chocolate
60g butter
½ cup cream

Place coffee or liqueur into a saucepan and simmer over a medium heat until mixture is reduced.
Add chocolate, butter and cream and continue stirring until it is melted and smooth
Remove from the heat and rest it until the mixture is cool and has thickened.
Pour all over your cheesecake and then return to the fridge to set.

Super anti-stress granola

01 Thursday May 2014

Posted by in Chocolate yeah!, Food for the soul, Recipes, Stress

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The amount of holidays that we have had in South Africa is starting to get ridiculous and I fear that when everything returns to normal, it is going to be difficult to deal with a full week of work, routine, driving the kids around, homework etc.
The perfect part about time off – even if I have to go into work – is the late start to the day and the leisurely breakfasts that come with that luxury.
My favourite breakfast?
Granola!
I don’t buy it, although I am sure that there are some wonderful brands out there, because I like to customise my granola according to my mood and therefore I make it myself.

I’ll share my recipe with you here – remember that granola is a very forgiving food (we could all learn from it actually) and you can’t actually go wrong if you change the amounts or add or subtract ingredients.

  • Melt together ½ cup honey with ½ cup peanut butter (unless you have a peanut allergy – then you can use any other nut butter or use more coconut oil to make up the difference – it still works either way) and 3 tablespoons of coconut oil (chocolate addicts, you can add 2 tablespoons, or more I guess, of chocolate spread)
  • Pour this mixture over 2 cups of raw, rolled/steel cut oats and about a cup of nuts of your choice
  • I also add pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and flax seeds to this mix
  • Mix together until well coated and spread on a baking tray and bake at 160°C
  • Please keep an eye on your granola while it is baking and take it out as soon as it is looking brown and toasty but before it gets too dark and yucky.
  • Leave it to cool and then go overboard adding your extras – throw on dried fruit, raisins, shredded coconut, goji berries – whatever you have or whatever you like (chocolate people – this is where you can add chocolate chips, chocolate covered peanuts, chocolate covered raisins – see where I am going?)
  • Pour everything into a container, mix it all up well and enjoy with yoghurt, milk or on its own.  I like to drizzle a little extra honey on top – it makes my day that little bit sweeter!
  • Enjoy!
Granola - two ways

Granola – two ways: tropical fruit, nut and coconut on the left and triple chocolate on the right

Because this is a stress blog, I feel responsible to tell you how amazing this granola is for helping you to help your body to manage your stress.
Here are some of the benefits of the ingredients in granola:

  • Oats apparently boost serotonin levels which make you feel calmer and happier.  It also keeps your blood sugar balanced which is important for keeping your mood balanced.
  • Nuts are known to lower cholesterol, reduce inflammation and counteract negative effects of stress – almonds in particular are rich in vitamin E (anti-inflammatory) and vitamin B (makes you more resilient to stress).  Walnuts will improve your memory (and I know that we could all use a little bit of that!)
  • Berries are rich in anti-oxidants and vitamin C which also helps your body to cope better with stress
  • Of course chocolate is full of all kind of good things but we know that eating chocolate improves your mood and is good for your heart (yes, really!)
  • Honey boosts your immune system, is anti-bacterial and probiotic – good for infections and digestive health.
  • Coconut oil is the ultimate superfood – if you believe all the hype around it, it cures everything! Including stress – I’ll take that!

Which wolf would you choose?

31 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by in Attitude, Positivity

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I’m sitting in my car listening to opera and eating a peppermint crisp (sorry to my non-South African readers who don’t know what this is.  It is an exquisite chocolate with crispy crackley peppermint candy inside)
Absolute bliss! And I deserve it!

There is a story that has been doing the email and Facebook rounds that the tells the story about a discussion between an old Cherokee and his grandson.  He said, “My son, there is a battle between two wolves that goes on inside of all of us.  One is evil, it is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.
The other is good.  It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “whichever one you feed”

It is such a lovely story that happens to be so true and so relevant to the lives that we lead in this busy, hectic, crazy world of ours. 
You always have a choice between the negative and the positive.
I could choose to be irritable about having to sit in the car waiting for my son to finish his drum lessons or I can choose to use this time for my own peaceful, happy and quiet (kid free) time (and to write this of course).

I am not saying that people with depression can choose to be positive when they are not well.  That is a really difficult thing to do.
But I am saying that most people who are stressed (and I know that you don’t want to be stressed because you are reading this) tend to choose the negative option.  We get stuck in the negativity and always expect the worst.
The problem is that if you have a negative attitude, you tend to only notice the negative. 
You tend to let the small stuff get you down and you quickly become overwhelmed by your life and all of your responsibilities.
Yet, if you choose to focus on positivity, you start noticing the good around you.  You feel more able to cope and find life more enjoyable because you create enjoyable moments.

Try not to feed the negative wolf.
I know that you can make that choice, because your life is worth so much more than entertaining that negative wolf!

How to survive winter and other miserable days

05 Friday Jul 2013

Posted by in Advice, Food for the soul, Lists, Moods, Recipes

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While we are blessed to have short, mild winters in Johannesburg, I still often feel miserable in winter.  The air is dry, the grass is brown and the mornings are dark and chilly.  A lot of people have complained to me that they feel tired and generally unhappy and while it may well be related to winter, it could also be a mid year tiredness.  Wow, we’ve made it halfway through the year but we still have months ahead of us.
(By the way, if you’re reading this and it’s summer where you are and you feel really happy and energised, that’s great! Please store this for later in the year when it applies to you).
Our instinct in winter is to do things that are not necessarily good for us.  Hibernating and eating the wrong things.  Yes, there is definitely a time and place for cuddling under a duvet with a steaming mug of hot chocolate in your hand but is probably not going to energise you.  Save all the rich, sugary treats for the weekend when you can enjoy it more and use it as a reward for yourself for a week well done.

Here are some of my ideas for feeling better and more motivated and energetic in winter:
– increase your vitamin intake by getting plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables
– always drink a glass of water before you reach for that cup of coffee or tea or hot chocolate.
– use invigorating oils like grapefruit or lemon in the morning to get you going.
– try to exercise more (I know, I know you don’t really want to but those feel good endorphins will kick in and you will feel great!)
– start a gratitude journal so that you can focus on all that is good rather than on all that feels bad.
– when you feel like hibernating under a blanket, remember that many people are not in the position to do that. So volunteer at a soup kitchen, donate a blanket, start knitting some cosy woollen items.  You will feel good and so will they.

knitting
– cuddle with somebody that you love before you rush off to go your separate ways (you’ll both feel good about it and hugs keep you warm)
– smile!
– before you rush off into the dark morning, take a moment to take a deep breath, watch your breath steam out and wonder at the marvel of winter
– and my ultimate winter happiness is baking (yes, I know I just spoke about not overdoing the sugar).  Baking is a very tactile thing and I find that making scones is very soothing.  And eating warm scones with dollops of jam is even more soothing!  The softness of the flour when you rub the butter in, the release of tension when you’re kneading the dough…

Best scone recipe:
2½ cups self raising flour
1 tablespoon sugar
Good pinch of salt
30g butter
¾ cup milk
½ cup water

Heat oven to 220°C
Sift flour and add sugar and salt into a bowl
Rub the butter in with your fingers
Stir in the milk, and then add water until your mixture is a nice, soft dough
Knead the dough until it is smooth and then press it down to about a 2cm thickness
Using a circle cutter, or a glass, cut into rounds.
Keep kneading and pressing the dough until you have used it all up.
Place your scones on a prepared pan and bake for about 15 minutes.

Enjoy!

The importance of pizza and other daily dilemmas

30 Thursday May 2013

Posted by in Advice, Chocolate yeah!, Freedom

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How important is it to eat pizza?  Or chocolate, or any of the other junk food that you are craving?
Well, that all depends on whether you’re looking for a physical, psychological or spiritual answer.
Generally if you crave foods, your body is telling you something.  If you want a really good biological explanation for the craving, you could say that your body is deficient in some “nutrient” and that is why you are having cravings.  So you want pizza because you need carbohydrates, needing chocolate means that you’re low on serotonin levels.  Chilli? You need endorphins to make you feel happy…. Sugar? You’re probably low on energy and your blood sugar levels may even be low.

I could probably go on but there is no need to.  Cravings are more likely to be psychological.  You want to eat something because it makes you feel better.  It fills the psychological hole of emptiness, despair, loneliness, frustration or anger and makes you feel better for that moment.  And yet, I have never met a person who craves lettuce when they are stressed.  (If you are that person, let me know). I actually do crave salad sometimes but it is not really the salad but rather the dressing and the fancy toppings (not the lettuce) that I want!

I prefer the “spiritual” reason.  I want pizza because it makes me happy.  I want pizza because.. I want pizza.  I want to eat with my hands and watch the cheese pull into strings off the tomato-ey base.  I want something that I didn’t cook.  I want an evening off with no cooking and cleaning duties.  I want to dream of Italy.  I want to be more passionate….

Is pizza, chocolate or any other junk food good for us? No!  Is it important to sometimes just do something purely for pleasure? Yes!  Definitely!
Life shouldn’t always have to be serious, or healthy.  We shouldn’t have to have valid, scientifically proven reasons for everything that we do.
My favourite quote about pizza is from the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  It goes like this:
“I love my pizza so much, in fact, that I have come to believe in my delirium that my pizza might actually love me, in return. I am having a relationship with this pizza, almost an affair.”

Maybe we should all begin having an affair with life.  Loving and appreciating the things that we do, loving the blessings that we have in abundance but that we forget to notice because we take life too seriously.
Go out and (sorry Nike) just do it!

5 things to be grateful for (and don’t worry, chocolate is on the list!)

02 Thursday May 2013

Posted by in Attitude, Chocolate yeah!, Gratitude, Lists

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  1. Most of you reading this have at least 2 arms and 2 legs, some of you less and hopefully none of you more.  Everytime you take a step or reach out to hold somebody’s hand, be grateful that you can.  We never really appreciate anything that we have, that we take for granted everyday.  Nick Vujicic (who has no arms and no legs) is proof of how much you can achieve, and how you can truly be a survivor despite the odds against you.  Why do we have so much, yet we still feel sorry for ourselves?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4uG2kSdd-4
  2. Be grateful to have money in your pocket, or in your wallet, or lying at the bottom of your drawer, or if you are really lucky, in the crevice of your couch.  3 billion people live on less than $2.50 per day and 22000 children die everyday because of poverty.  Even if times are really tough and you are battling financially – you probably still have something to eat and dare I say it, you could probably afford a small treat (like the chocolate mentioned below) for yourself every now and then.
  3. On the simplest level, be grateful that you can read this.  There are 1 billion people in the world today who are illiterate.  People who never got the opportunity to learn to read because of poverty, war, gender inequality and poor resources.  We are blessed to be amongst those who can enjoy being able to read – whether it is a Jane Austen classic, the latest trashy novel, a newspaper, gossip magazine or even this blog!
  4. Be thankful for the people in your life who truly care about you.  The people that you can be honest with, who are there for you no matter what.  And hold those people close to you.  Let them know how important they are to you – and not just using social media!
  5. One thing that I am truly grateful for is that the Aztecs (although they incorrectly predicted the end of the world) did discover cocoa and the joy of chocolate (that gorgeous serotonin inducing, making you feel happy snack).  And even better – thanks to Christopher Columbus who may have discovered America (or so they say) but more importantly, took cocoa beans back to Spain where the genius king of the time, Charles V decided to add sugar to it… and that was the beginning of chocolate as we know it. Mmmm….

A new kind of list

24 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in Attitude, Chocolate yeah!, Lists, Positivity, Relaxation

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I am always going on about lists.
Some people even call me the queen of lists.
But most of my lists are to do lists and bucket lists. Lists of things that I still want to achieve or things that need to be done ASAP or I have to face the consequences, which are usually sleepless nights thinking about how much I have to do.
Well, this week I decided to do a different kind of list. Not only a list of things that I have done but of all the things that I have learned this week when I opened my eyes (and my mind) wide enough to notice them.

So here is my list so far, and it is definitely a work in progress:

  • If Japanese tourists want to take a picture of you doing mundane tasks, like driving, just smile and wave.
  • People prefer chocolate cake recipes to advice on how to cope with stress. And some people love eating chocolate cake more than talking about their problems.  So obviously chocolate could just be the answer to a lot of the world’s problems!
  • What seems terrible one day, might not feel that bad the next day.
  • Reflexology fixes a lot of problems.
  • Not everyone sees the world the same way that you do and it is not worth getting upset about it. People will do what they want to do. And there is not a lot that you can do about it.
  • Getting enough sleep is important but it is not worth obsessing about it.
  • Talk to strangers, you never know what no ideas you can learn from them (yes, I know that your parents probably told you not to talk to strangers but hopefully you’re old enough to know the difference.)
  • Lavender oil fixes a lot of problems.
  • Sometimes the people who you think are meant to give you the most support don’t and the people that you least expect it from do. There is no perfect ideal for who should care the most for you.
  • Smile! It makes all the difference.

Now make your own list for this week.
Even better, buy or make your own lessons learned journal. It might end up being an amazing keepsake or something that you can pass down to the next generation.
Whatever happens, if you get into the habit of doing this exercise, you will start to see the world in a different light.
And you can make it a good one!

Killer cake

21 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by in Chocolate yeah!, Food for the soul, HIV, Recipes

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The wonderful Sile told me about a Bar One cake and of course I had to come up with a recipe. Not only that, but I had to get a committed group of tasters (which is not that difficult to do actually). For those of you who are unfortunate enough not to know what a Bar One is, it is a nougat and caramel filled chocolate (I guess that Mars Bar is similar?).

This is a chocolate cake with a caramel fudge layer in the middle and topped with a Bar One topping – if you live in a Bar One-less country, please come up with your own topping (and let me know what you used).

baking 007

Well, bless Sile who has survived HIV for 10 years (and counting) but claims that this cake sent her straight to heaven – and I really don’t want to kill her, but this became the “killer cake”. And the woman is still crazy enough to want to sky dive with me!

Cake

  • 1 cup margarine
  • ½ cup cocoa
  • 1 cup water
  • 1 ¾ cups self raising flour
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 ½ cups sugar
  • 200 ml milk
  • 5 ml caramel essence (vanilla if you don’t keep caramel on hand like I do)

Preheat oven to 180°C

Melt margarine and then add the cocoa and water and heat until warm, set aside.

Whisk together the eggs and sugar in a bowl

Add caramel essence, milk and flour to this

Now add the cocoa/margarine mix to this mixture and mix well

Pour into a prepared pan and bake for 60 minutes

Caramel fudge filling

  • 385g can of condensed milk
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 125g butter
  • ¼ cup  golden syrup
  • salt flakes

Put all the ingredients (except salt) into a saucepan and mix on a low heat until the butter and sugar have melted

Bring the mixture to a boil and then turn down to a simmer and stir continuously for about 15 minutes until the caramel is darker and thick (when it feels like the caramel is resisting your stirring) – I would suggest putting on some good music to keep you dancing and entertained during all the stirring because you cannot leave it alone

Add a bit of salt to taste (you can leave this out if you really don’t like the idea of salt in caramel – for me it is perfect)

Leave to cool

Topping

  • 150g Bar One (or Mars bar or some other caramel/fudge chocolate I guess)
  • 100g milk chocolate (I have to say this at this point, in South Africa, we don’t get 100g chocolate slabs – they stole 10g from us and now sell 90g slabs! – sorry, personal irritation)
  • 100ml cream

Melt all the ingredients together in a saucepan

Now, let’s put this baby together – once the cake is cool, cut it in half and spread the caramel layer on the bottom half and then top with the second half of cake.

Spread the topping over the cake.

baking 008

Now lick all the spoons and saucepans while you wait for the topping to set.

This cake takes time and love but it is so, so worth it and not that difficult to make with a bit of patience!