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I don't want to be stressed

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I don't want to be stressed

Tag Archives: criticism

Take a compliment

11 Monday Sep 2017

Posted by Andi in Advice, Change, Coping skills, Mental health, Stress

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burn out, compliments, criticism, expectations, mental health, work stress

I work with people daily who have extreme work stress and almost across the board they have the same complaint. They never get recognised for the good that they are doing but if they do something wrong, then they get a lot of attention.
It really upsets me that this happens. Why don’t people get credit and recognition that they deserve?
One of the reasons is that it is expected that you will always perform brilliantly- you should never make mistakes, you shouldn’t put a foot out of line and you certainly shouldn’t challenge management.
The problem is that when you work harder you are expected to keep up that standard. So you push yourself harder and work more and become more stressed and burn out and make a mistake. And then you are punished – for being stressed. For being human!

So how do we change this? Well the difficult part is that we are not going to change other people’s perceptions but you can change your own:
1. Accept that you can’t always work at 100% and be gentle on yourself
2. Don’t expect compliments (sad, I know) – work hard because you enjoy doing it not because it is expected of you
3. Compliment yourself when you know that you’ve done well (and that might even include a little gift for yourself)
4. Take the fact that people notice everything that you do (good or bad) as a compliment
5. Insist on occasionally taking a ‘mental health’ day – time out for doing something that nourishes your mind, body and soul

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Making others happy?

22 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Andi in Attitude, Life Lessons, self esteem

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criticism, happiness, journey, learning, Pleasing others

Somebody shared this picture with me this morning on twitter:

Never making others happy
It is remarkable how true this is.
Sometimes it seems that we can do nothing right.
No matter what you do, there are people that you are just not going to please, and there are people who are going to criticise you for whatever you do.
And even if you do succeed in what you are doing, you may still be the ‘wrong’ race, the ‘wrong’ religion, the ‘wrong’ gender in somebody else’s opinion.
You might be too slow, you could be too fast, too fat, too thin….

First of all you need to understand where that criticism is coming from.  Is it really about you?
People who are unhappy with themselves will always criticise others to make themselves feel better. Know that the majority of the time, it is about them and not you.
Then, you need to take a good look at yourself and if you feel that you are doing the right thing, you need to keep doing it, no matter what anybody else says.
And if you are doing the wrong thing, maybe you need to do the wrong thing your way because that is that only way that you are going to learn – from forging your own direction rather than just taking everybody else’s advice.

We live in a world that is so strongly influenced by media and social media in particular.
But most of what you see is just an edited version of somebody’s life and opinions.  People are only going to show their best pictures and tell their best stories because they can.
That means that instead of getting upset because your life is not “up to standard” compared to others or you are not doing the same as others, think about yourself and what you are trying to achieve and what you are all about.
You are far more intelligent, way more beautiful, and abundantly more blessed than you realise!

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