Tag Archives: gratitude

Undoing of stress

13 Thursday Jul 2017

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For months I’ve been battling an ongoing stressful situation. I’ve been shouting and complaining, emailing and phoning and still the problem wasn’t resolved.
Everyone said that it would be fixed and things would get better.
But I just couldn’t imagine the light at the end of the tunnel.
And every time some somebody told me that it would be okay I would get angry and frustrated at them because it’s easy for someone who is not going through the the same thing to tell you something like it’s going to be okay without actually having a clue about what they are talking about.
And then yesterday, just like that, the problem was solved.
It was solved despite my stress and despite my complaining and even without me being arrested (kidding)!

It has been a huge lesson in the concept that I am always preaching: being graceful in dealing with life’s ups and downs.
Sometimes you need to be graceful in accepting things for what they are, for knowing that some things are going to be out of your control and for letting time take care of things.
We don’t know why things happen but we can deal with them in a way that is as stress free as possible.

Stress is horrible, unsettling and pushes you way out of your comfort zone but in the end you are going to deal with this and things will change (for better or worse).
I know that you can deal with this!

Big small blessings

09 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Gratitude, Illness

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In a rough moment this week I was feeling very sorry for myself because my son was so sick… again.
So I was in the pharmacy… again and looking pathetically at a mother with her daughter picking out shampoo.  And I had a moment of jealousy (and anger) that they could be doing such a ‘normal’ thing when I spend so much time in doctor’s rooms and queuing for medication at the pharmacy.
Then I turned around and the woman behind me was with her really ill daughter who was recovering from heart surgery!
I very quickly shut up my pity party anthem that was playing in my head and wanted to cry at how lucky I am that although my son is ill, he doesn’t have a life threatening illness.
I got home feeling more peaceful and just wanted to hug the boy – except that he told me to give him space and let him concentrate on his very important game of Plants vs Zombies (I have no idea….)

It would do us all well to remember that our lives may be far from perfect but they are far more perfect than somebody else’s.
Be grateful for the blessings you have – even though they may seem small, they are huge to another person.

Count your blessings

10 Thursday Nov 2016

Posted by in Being brave, Gratitude, Life Lessons

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Yesterday we had the most horrific storm in Johannesburg (apparently it has not been this bad in 100 years).  And as I sit here writing this, another storm is rolling in.

It was terrifying sitting in my house just watching the devastation out of the window when there was nothing that I could really do.  We put towels down anticipating the water coming into the house but thankfully, only a trickle of water came in.
Our neighbours were not so lucky – water poured into houses, walls and trees have fallen, cars and property are damaged.  And yet, we were all luckier than others because people lost their lives last night – swept away in their cars in the storm water.

I often talk about appreciating what you have but never has it been so clear as it was last night.
As scary as it was sitting in the house, we were so blessed to be dry and protected.
It is a huge lesson in never taking things for granted.
Your house may not be great, but it is your house.  With the added bonus of a roof and walls.
Be grateful for every moment that you get to spend with your loved ones.
Focus on what you have rather than what you don’t have.
Count your blessings rather than moan about your “curses”.

To everyone – be safe, look after yourselves and your loved ones.  Material objects can be replaced, lives can’t.

So blessed to be cold

03 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Advice, Life journey, Mindfulness, Positivity

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So, I made my mark!
Today I voted in the local elections.  I stood in the freezing cold, icy wind and waited patiently in the queue to put a mark on a piece of paper.
Everybody in the queue was just as patient and just as happy to stand there in the cold because I think that we all realised what an honour and privilege it is to have the right to vote.
I stood there in the cold making small talk with strangers and it really struck me that we are all so lucky to have the rights that we do have – not just to vote but to do it freely.

We should never take things for granted.
Including the small things like knowing that no matter how cold we were in that queue, most of us would be going back to warm houses and steaming cups of tea.
We take big things for granted too – every day that you wake up and you can still walk and talk, do you stop to think how amazing that is?
The fact that you are healthy (okay maybe only somewhat healthy…) or that you have running water, food on your table, a warm bed, a roof over your head and (very important to my kids) access to wifi!!

Whenever you feel yourself slipping into self pity and negative thinking, please just take a minute to list the things that you do have.
You always have a choice – do you focus on what you do have or do you cry about what you don’t have?
Yes, there are always going to be people who are happier, healthier, wealthier and more successful than you but there are also always going to be people who look at you as somebody happier, healthier, wealthier and more successful than them.
Think about it!

Seeing rainbows

11 Wednesday May 2016

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On Monday evening one of my friends posted on Facebook something that said “I survived Monday!”
I’m sure that most of us feel that way on a Monday and immediately start counting the days and hours until Friday.
The only problem with “I survived Monday!” is that my neighbour didn’t.
He died on Monday morning.
When most people were moaning about traffic, complaining about the week and generally dragging themselves into the day, he didn’t even make it to 9am on a Monday morning. And his family’s lives were devastated in an instant.
Believe me, I was having my fair share of Monday complaining and generally feeling miserable and overwhelmed by all of my responsibilities but that quickly ended when I heard the news.  It was a quick and very rude awakening about how blessed I was to have not only “survived Monday” but also to still be here to be blessed enough to continue with my “stressful” and “chaotic” life.

Please don’t forget to pause even while feeling sorry for yourself and to realise how blessed you are.

Today I was exhausted and as I finally did my shopping and then drove out of the shops, the sight that I was greeted with was absolutely spectacular.  There was a huge rainbow arching over the sky.  So amazing!  I saw it as a gift to me and a clear reminder of the beauty of life.

beautiful rainbow

Take a breath, look at the bigger picture and realise how special every moment is and what a blessing it is to be able to be here to celebrate that moment.

My end of year message to you:

23 Wednesday Dec 2015

Posted by in Advice, Anxiety, Attitude, Being brave, Depression, Gratitude, Stress, trauma

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This is my final post for the year so I would like to take the opportunity to say thank you to every single one of you wonderful people who are reading this.
Some of you have contributed, some have given me ideas, some people have written comments and given feedback and some people just quietly read what I have to say every week.
It doesn’t matter how much you give, the important thing is that every one of you matters to me – you are the reason that this blog keeps going and you are definitely the motivation that I need when when my screen stares back blankly at me.
I am constantly inspired by the survivors in this world – the people who stand up no matter how many times life beats them down and if you are reading this, the only reason you hang out here is that you are a survivor too.  You are part of a great community of survivors who battle depression, stress, low self esteem, anxiety and all the stigma that comes with it.  And you battle it with dignity and grace.

My wish to you all is that no matter what your religion is, that you have a good festive season.  Use the time to really notice what is important to you, to celebrate the little things and to take your own health and happiness more seriously.

When I saw this quote about Morgan Freeman narrating your story, I smiled – mainly because I always fancy Morgan Freeman narrating my day to day routine.
(“Andi gets into her car and grimaces at the thought of another morning of fighting rude taxi drivers on the road, yet she turns the ignition and goes on anyway”)
I also fancy that even if I’m not doing anything awesome, it is still worth having a narrator.  Not all stories are going to be happy ever after love stories are they? (Although we may wish them to be so)
Your current story may be an action adventure (read: traumatic and stressful time) or a horror (read: traumatic and stressful time) but whatever it is, it is going to leave you with a legacy that I hope you will end up not regretting.

morgan freeman

Keep moving forward, keep learning and keep growing – I know that you are awesome!

100 Happy Days Feedback

29 Thursday May 2014

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On the 20th of January this year, I embarked on a journey to document 100 happy days.
It has taken me longer than 100 days to get this far but here I am, almost done with photographing 100 happy moments in my life.
I am so blessed and privileged to have had some moments in these 100 days that were much more than happy.  They were hugely exciting and life changing.
But I also had days that were quite mundane but still happy because of simple things like being greeted at the door every day after work by my excitable dogs, or eating food that makes me happy and just appreciating simple things.
I noticed that there were so many things going on around me that I would often overlook.  Or I would be so caught up in my stress and worrying about getting things done that I never noticed some truly amazing things happening.  Sometimes they were random, coincidental things and sometimes I had to put a lot of effort into creating something happy (like forcing myself to eat a chocolate!)

So the big question is:
Was this project life changing for me?
I wouldn’t say that it was hugely life changing but it definitely put a positive spin on my routine.  I started to get more excited about small things and not so bogged down by the small stressors that turned out to be quite insignificant and situational.
My attitude definitely improved and I feel calmer and happier for it.
Not jumping up and down, over-excited kind of happy, but just more content in what blessings surround me.

If you haven’t tried any positive thinking projects, I would highly recommend that you choose one to commit to.  Whether it is documenting 100 happy days; working on being more positive for a month (or even a week) or keeping a gratitude journal, you are likely to be in a more positive space for doing it.

I feel quite sad that my project is almost over – it has become an important part of my life, so being true to me, I need to find a new project.  I’m always up to something creative but I decided to challenge myself a bit by taking on some sewing projects (if my High School Home Economics teacher is reading this, she would surely fall right off her chair!).
That is just a small detour from the next big project which is a Random Acts of Kindness project – so watch this space!

Please let me know how your life has changed by being more positive. I would love to hear your story.

RIP Nelson Mandela

06 Friday Dec 2013

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There is a strange silence in the air this morning – our leader has gone.
It was with a very sad and heavy heart that I learned of the death of Nelson Mandela – the father of our country and inspiration to so many.
The silence reminds me of a poem by WH Auden:

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

It is a heartbreaking poem and I know that many people will feel this way today.
As have many in the past when they have lost loved ones.
It is easy to say, let us not be sad, rather let us have good memories of what was.  But sadness, and anger, is a part of mourning.
Give yourself time to mourn – to express it in the way that you want to express it but know that there will always be happy memories, things that you will laugh about, positive inspirations.

May we all learn lessons from the humility, gentleness, compassion and ability to forgive that Nelson Mandela taught us.
We are all better people for having lived in his time.
Rest in Peace Tata Madiba
Lala ngoxolo Tata Wethu uMadiba

photo

The BIG attitude of Gratitude Challenge

25 Wednesday Sep 2013

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“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” – Epicurus (an ancient Greek philosopher – if you didn’t know who he was.  I didn’t)

This week, I get to keep quiet and you get to do the work!
After last week’s post where I spoke about gratitude, I decided to set a task for myself and once I had done it, I decided that you could do it too.
Be brave now…. Deep breath and….
I want you to write a list of 100 (yes, 100!) things that you are grateful for.
Before you think that it is going to be impossible, just start. Even if you only get to 10 today, keep on adding until you get to the magic 100.
You can do it!

The reason that we instinctively think that we can’t do it, is because our brains seem to be wired to notice what we don’t have rather than what we do. It is time to start changing that around.
When you start listing the things that you are grateful for, you start noticing all of the things that you have. Don’t forget to include the fact that you woke up this morning and that you can breathe!
Don’t forget to mention the people that help you out, the person who always smiles, the traffic lights that work.  Don’t forget the delicious lunch that you ate, the invention of elevators when you are too tired to walk up the stairs.  The warmth of the sun, your cuddly pet, a hug, a soulful tune, the smell of jasmine blossoms in the morning… OK, I’m not giving you all the answers!
You will be surprised once you start, how easy it is.
Keep going, keep challenging yourself – I believe in you.
Let me know how it goes.

I’ll leave you with a quote from my favourite philosopher – the one and only A.A. Milne, author of Winnie the Pooh,
“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

gratitude attitude

Am I crazy?

18 Wednesday Sep 2013

Posted by in Attitude, Food for the soul, Gratitude

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There are times when I think that being Jewish is a little bit on the crazy side.  I certainly feel that other people think that when I explain our customs to them.  One day we are feasting, a few days later we are fasting.  Sometimes we don’t eat bread, sometimes we eat lots of bread.  And this week, we will move into a temporary shelter with a roof made out of leaves (called a sukkah) , built in our garden and we will eat every meal and every snack in there for 7 days no matter what the weather is like.
Did I say that we were crazy?  Was that me?

The first thing that I have to say is that I am eternally grateful for the fact the I live in Johannesburg where the weather at this time of the year is wonderful for eating outdoors.  People in the northern hemisphere often sit in their sukkahs freezing cold and I’m guessing, miserable.
No matter what the religious reasons are for this custom, and there are a lot, one of the primary things that I gain from this festival is appreciation for what I do have.
How many people don’t have a roof over their head and what we sometimes feel we have to endure once a year for only a week, is their daily reality.  And those people often don’t even worry about the lack of shelter when they are more concerned about where their next meal is going to come from.

Sometimes we just don’t appreciate how much we have, until we don’t have it.
Anyone who has fasted knows the pain of hunger and hopefully experiences gratitude the minute they are able to start eating again.

This week I would like you to take a few moments to appreciate all that you have.  To really focus on your blessings – and even if you feel that you have none, to find those blessings.  No matter who you are, what you believe in, how much you have, or don’t have, you are truly blessed!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank every one of you, my dearest readers.  The positive feedback that I get from you every single week is inspirational.  Not only do you keep this blog going, but you keep me going.  You teach me new things.  Your inspirational stories inspire and fill me with awe.
Each of you is a hero in my eyes and I thank you for being part of my life.
Have a blessed week!