• About me

I don't want to be stressed

~ Life, stress and baking in no particular order

I don't want to be stressed

Tag Archives: growth

Did I hear a yes?

08 Thursday Feb 2018

Posted by Andi in Advice, Being brave, Self growth

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Answering yes, asking for help, courage, growth, needs, opportunity

I found this question while browsing Pinterest (as I do):

“What would you ask for, if you knew the answer would be yes?”

During my midnight meanderings, I thought a lot about this question because initially, I thought the obvious –
“Please buy a new car for me.”
“Can I have money?”
“Will you take me away on a island vacation?”

And while I would love the answers to these questions to be yes, I also thought about what I actually needed.
And the truth is that I don’t need much.
Yes, a life of luxury would be wonderful but what we really need is more love, more appreciation and more care.
I thought about how much a hug would make a difference and how a gesture of thanks would go a long way.
So my question became:
“Please sit and talk to me over a cup of coffee”
“Will you listen to what I have to say?”
“Will you hold my hand when I’m trying to be brave?”
“Would you notice what I do?”

What I know is that if we sit and wait for somebody to  answer yes by guessing what we want, we may wait a long time.  So unless your friend, partner, employer, parent etc. is a mind reader (and I would be quite fearful if they were), you need to put what you need out there.
The fear of somebody saying no makes us never ask.
And if you never ask, you may lose an opportunity.
Maybe they will say yes….
Give it a try.

Share the calm:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Fear of failure

16 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by Andi in Advice, Being brave, Change, Life Lessons, Self growth

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

failure, fear, fear of failure, growth, new opportunites

I never loved school – when I look back at my schooling, the one thing that always comes to mind was my fear of failure.  That was probably because we were constantly being taught that failure is a bad thing and we not only had to avoid it at all costs but also to always work harder.
As children we are often told by our parents and grandparents what we are not allowed to do or say or touch.  To avoid risk and potential failure or hurt and pain.
So we stick with those beliefs.

The negative reputation that failure gets follows you into your adulthood where you still feel that fear is a bad thing.
More often than not, you are not taught that failure might actually open up new doors for you.  You are not taught that failure is an opportunity to learn and grow as an individual.  You are not given the chance to discover what your strengths and weaknesses are and to really build on your strengths because you spend so much energy and time trying to fix the weaknesses.

If you could let the fear of failure go and bravely enter new places, discover new opportunities and take chances, you may just find something that you never even knew existed.
As uncomfortable as it is to fail, the fear of failing or avoidance of failure just holds you back.  It makes you want to stay in your comfort zone.
And you are worthy of doing so much more than just holding yourself back.
Jump in, try it, take a risk – great, great things might happen!

Share the calm:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Change – the scary stuff

03 Thursday Nov 2016

Posted by Andi in Advice, Change, Fear

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

adventure, change, chronic illness, fears, growth, Halloween, scary

Change is scary!
Maybe not as scary as snakes, zombie apocalypses and ghosts (Okay, I know Halloween is over now… get on with it)
Just as I was about to start writing about dealing with change, my 13 year old came into my office and asked if he could write my blog for me.

So this is what he wrote (unedited):
“Change can be scary because its like you are going into new territory the unknown, you could be scared because of a new medication you need to take or starting a new job even learning the simplest of things can be scary and hold you back, what you need is to break through your fears and try if you cant do it try try and try again never give up hope never stop believing in yourself”

My son has a chronic illness so we never know how each day is going to go – some days he wakes up feeling well and our day is routine based and for a short while we feel normal, and other days are so horrible that all of our plans go out the window.  He is used to nothing going as planned even though he craves living a “normal life”.  I really hope that this will put him in good stead for his adult years.

Most adults fear change so much that they stay in their comfort zones and stay unhappy.
I’m guessing that if you were truly happy, you wouldn’t need to be reading this blog.  So if you are not happy, or if you think that you could improve some aspects of your somewhat happy life, you are going to need to change in order to do that.
Often change is an absolute blessing but we don’t realise it when it happens because it makes us feel that uncomfortable.
Change leads to growth and onto new things that you may never have even thought possible.
If you find it difficult, start doing small things that will still make a difference but won’t necessarily change your life path.
I do things like colour my hair (it’s currently purple) or change my route to work.  It adds a tiny twist of adventure that makes me believe that the bigger changes are manageable too.
Give yourself a chance for adventure too!

Share the calm:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Does failure equal success?

22 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by Andi in Advice, Attitude, Fear, Self growth, Success

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

failure, fear, growth, learning from failure, mistakes, Og Mandino, success

Og Mandino, the author of numerous books including The Greatest Salesman on Earth said, “Remind thyself, in the darkest moments, that every failure is only a step toward success, every detection of what is false directs you toward what is true, every trial exhausts some tempting form of error, and every adversity will only hide, for a time, your path to peace and fulfillment.”

We live in a world where there are so many expectations placed on us to succeed and a large amount of those expectations are from ourselves.  This crazy, unrealistic drive for perfection.
We want our relationships to always work.  We want to succeed in our careers.  We want to be brilliant parents, outstanding scholars and upstanding members of the community.  And most of all, we want to be recognised and acknowledged for all of the wonderful things that we do.  And that doesn’t leave any room for failure, or for things going wrong or not according to your great and wonderful plan.

If you believe in perfection, then there is a good chance that you believe that failure is a bad thing, something to avoid at all costs.  So, it is interesting that when Mandino was asked what the secret of success was, he answered, “You should triple your rate of failure”

When you make mistakes, you learn from them.  You learn not to be afraid of failure.  You become a stronger person when you realise that you have overcome all of the obstacles that you were so afraid of.
And of course, how do we recognise perfection if we haven’t actually seen the other side?  How do you know that something is really working if you haven’t felt what it feels like for things to be falling apart?
It is said that “a head full of fears has no space for dreams.”
So fear of failure doesn’t allow you to live those dreams, achieve those goals and stand tall through adversity.
Fear of failure keeps us in our safe comfort zones where we are stuck and frustrated and unmotivated.

Get out there! Fail! Live your life without fear because every time that you do, a seed is planted that is going to help you grow into something magnificent.

Share the calm:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

On building walls…

08 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by Andi in Self growth, Shades of Grey

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

depression, growth, Sebastien Foucan, stress

Let me tell you a story that is a little embarrassing (because of course all of our kids are little angels and you shouldn’t admit that yours isn’t) but I’ll tell it to you anyway.
My younger son is adventurous (read: naughty) and fancies himself as a bit of a Parkour master.  So we had these neighbours who had an old broken wall that was not very high and made an ideal challenge for a young boy. He would jump over their wall all of the time. And as an ultimate sign of strength, the boys in the neighbourhood would prove their manliness by giving the wall a kick and watching in joy as they managed to cause some bricks to fall.  Hulk has nothing on him.
And what did the wall’s owner do? Every now and then he would just straighten the wall by giving it a bit of a knock and put one or two bricks back up.
And a few days later, the whole process would start all over again.  The boys would knock some bricks down, and the wall would be put back together again.
After a while, the house was sold and we watched in fascination (as nosy neighbours tend to do) to see what the new owners would do with that wall.
What they did do? They knocked that useless wall down and dug new foundations and built a huge new, solid wall that my son could not climb in his wildest dreams (well maybe in his dreams where he can climb walls like Sebastien Foucan).

The point of me telling you this story is that we all face walls every day of our lives.  Everytime a problem comes up, you try to fix only that problem and the circumstances around the problem rather than getting to the root cause, the foundation of the problem.
So if you have a communication problem in your relationship, you would rather spend ages arguing about whose chance it is to take out the garbage rather than looking at  the core issue which is that you have
communication issues!
The main reason we don’t want to deal with the foundation is that it is too scary. We fear change more than we fear being in an unhappy situation.
One of the blessings that stress and depression gives you (yes, seriously) is that it knocks you down to that foundation level.
And you have to start again from that very beginning that everyone else fears. Once you start from the beginning, you can rebuild up your life just like that big strong wall.
Don’t be afraid to do it, you are far, far stronger than you can even imagine!

Share the calm:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

I don’t want to be stressed

I don’t want to be stressed

idontwantstress

  • https://t.co/jQJnho2eOJ 3 years ago
  • Write a new story idontwanttobestressed.com/2018/11/08/wri… 3 years ago
  • Be brave enough to fail idontwanttobestressed.com/2018/08/30/be-… 3 years ago
  • Happy Women’s Day idontwanttobestressed.com/2018/08/09/hap… https://t.co/DO68jl7TH4 4 years ago
  • Speak butterfly idontwanttobestressed.com/2018/07/05/spe… 4 years ago

Calm....Calmer......Calmest

Join 737 other followers

Feeling stressed?

Advice Anxiety Attitude Being brave Change Chocolate yeah! Coping skills Creativity Depression Fear Food for the soul Freedom Gratitude HIV Illness Life journey Life Lessons Lists Mental health Mindfulness Moods Positivity Projects Quiet and slow Recipes self esteem Self growth Shades of Grey Stress Success

Recent Posts

  • Write a new story
  • Be brave enough to fail
  • Happy Women’s Day
  • Speak butterfly
  • Rest, recovery and reflection

Archives

  • November 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • I don't want to be stressed
    • Join 737 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • I don't want to be stressed
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
%d bloggers like this: