Tag Archives: happiness

Calming memories

04 Thursday May 2017

Posted by in Advice, Coping skills, Mindfulness, Moods, Quiet and slow

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Yesterday was my grandmother’s 100th birthday and with the celebration came a rush of memories.
I have so many good memories of my grandparent’s house in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe.
The ones I remember most are the ones that are etched in my senses.  The taste of the tea with way too much sugar and far too much milk in it which was deemed sensible for children’s tastes, freshly squeezed orange juice from oranges just picked from the trees in the garden, the smell of woven baskets and polish, the sounds of certain birds.  My grandmother was the queen of making fudge and biscuits which she would hide in the grocery cupboard.  The smell of the soap stored in the same cupboard will always make my tongue tingle because I knew that the fudge had to be somewhere in there.  Sometimes we were lucky and we found it, other times not so much….

Now in my old age (well, old enough to have a grandmother who is 100), just the thought of these things makes me happy.  And even better still, sipping orange juice or sitting down with a cup of tea (now with no sugar and far less milk) can calm me down in an instant because it creates a flashback to happier times of childhood.

Hopefully everybody has some happy childhood memories.  You might not have had a perfect childhood but I’m sure you have one or two memories that make you smile.
Can you recreate those memories in adulthood?
Is there a snack that you can eat or something that you can smell in the middle of a stressful day at work that will have the ability to calm you down?
Can you create some time to do the things that really used to make you feel happy?
You may be surprised at how a simple thing can just settle your heart rate, slow down your breathing and make you feel that all is right with the world even if it is for just 5 minutes.  And if that means an extra spoon of sugar in your tea (or a dollop of condensed milk) than who are any of us to argue?

Learning from the small

16 Thursday Jun 2016

Posted by in Advice, Life Lessons, Positivity, self esteem

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Today we celebrate Youth Day.
And while we actually do celebrate the freedom that it represents (and enjoy a day off work and school) may we never forget the stories behind June the 16th – the Soweto uprising.
It took bravery for people to stand up for what they believed in.  It took guts for the ‘small’ to fight the ‘big’.
Those people changed our history.
This week, we were once again faced with the result of hatred in the shootings in Orlando, USA.  As devastating as it was, the uprising of people afterwards – standing together as one with strong belief in good – was absolutely amazing.

Most of us are blessed with a freedom that perhaps the precious generation didn’t have.
Let us not take that for granted.
Never let anybody oppress you.  Whether it is leaders, people in your work place, bullies or even family members.  Don’t ever allow anybody to belittle you or tell you that you are less worthy or not good enough.
Don’t be small!
You may not have the ability, or the bravery to take on the ‘big guys’ but you can still be the best person that you can be despite your circumstances.  Rise above those circumstances!
Be wonderful even if nobody supports you in doing it.
Do great things even if nobody recognises what you do.
Do things because they make you happy and not for reward.
Find fulfillment in whatever you need to do and celebrate your freedom to be different.

Friedrich Nietzsche said “the surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.”

Reasons for being unhappy

25 Wednesday May 2016

Posted by in Attitude, Freedom, Gratitude, Positivity

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Anna Vital writes about what she thinks are the reasons for people being unhappy.  It is worth having a look at these reasons and thinking about how it applies to your life and your choices for happiness.
(I have put my own explanations in brackets after each one.)

Reasons for being unhappy:

  • Setting expectations unrealistically high (setting yourself up for failure by only aiming high and not being realistic or taking things step by step)
  • Thinking that you are special but can’t explain why (remember that nobody owes you anything and you are no more special than anyone else – work hard for yourself and not for recognition)
  • Measuring happiness in the wrong units (no, money can NOT buy you happiness no matter how happy you feel at the time)
  • Getting used to what you have and then wanting more (learn to appreciate, be happy and love what you have)
  • Confusing not being bad with being good (just because you are not a criminal, and well done for that, doesn’t mean that you are being good to others or to yourself)
  • Trying to find meaning in being unhappy (please don’t over-analyse everything.  Learn to be in the moment)
  • Hoping that other people will make you happy (nobody can make you feel happy until you are happy with yourself)
  • Finding commiserators (stop inviting people to your pity party – rather surround yourself with positive people who truly care about you)
  • Believing that happiness is a selfish pursuit (you ARE worth it! And you do deserve happiness)
  • Thinking that misery follows happiness (just let yourself be happy, don’t worry about the fact that it may not last – maybe it will, maybe it won’t)

You may not feel over the moon, excited kind of happy but start thinking about how you are holding yourself back.
Be wonderful!

Singing and Dancing in the Rain

17 Thursday Mar 2016

Posted by in Attitude, Positivity

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We have been blessed with wonderful rain in the past week.
Which is great for the environment but better for me because I went to see the show Singing in the Rain this weekend.
And I bought a Singing in the Rain umbrella and now I can sing (and dance) in the rain much to my kids’ embarrassment.

Singing in the Rain
And of course it makes me feel wonderful. It reminds me of a guy in our neighborhood.
He stands on the corner of a busy intersection and dances. Everyday. No matter what.
And he absolutely makes my day.
Not only does his dancing make me smile but he waves at me every time I pass him and sometimes I even get a kiss blown my way (an occupational hazard of mine).

The amazing thing about the dancing guy is that he is unemployed and doesn’t look very dapper but he still has the power to make people happy. In a world that is so materialistic, we often forget that there can be more happiness from simple things than from the big, expensive and powerful things that we come to expect.
There is no physical object – chocolate or shoes (ok, maybe not shoes) that can make me smile like this guy does.

You never know how much power you have to make somebody’s day.
Your smile or your dance could help someone to go from grumpy to smiley. Give it a chance!
It might just work on yourself too!

“You’re never fully dressed without a smile”

27 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by in Acts of Kindness, Attitude, Gratitude, Positivity

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I was so touched today when I was part of a discussion where one man thanked another for a compliment he had received from him earlier in the day.
It touched me because so few people give compliments anymore and the person involved said that he could not even remember the last time somebody had said something nice to him (sad world that we live in).
We complain a lot, we focus on the negatives, we fight when we get poor service, and we expect a lot from people in general.
It is so easy to get caught up in that spiral of negativity.

So let us start a new mission:
Everyday, say something nice to somebody.  Not just to somebody that you know or to a family member. Give a compliment to a stranger.
I make it my personal mission to always comment on a cashier’s hairstyle or a security guard’s smile.  I like to tell somebody that they are looking good.  OK, it is probably explains a lot about why I get more marriage proposals than the average person but so be it.
Tell someone that you are proud of them and very importantly, tell your friends and family that you love them!

Everyday that you walk into work or school – smile!
Even if you don’t feel that happy – smile anyway.  Because if you smile, you will probably get a smile back in return.  You will probably feel better for smiling anyway – you know – “turn that frown upside down”?
Or to quote Annie (yes, I watched the original movie numerous times and the latest version twice….) “you’re never fully dressed without a smile”

And my favourite thing to do… always – random acts of kindness.
If you would love somebody to do something nice for you, chances are that somebody would love something nice from you.
Small little things – today it was a packet of peppermints that I gave to a colleague battling with morning sickness.
I promise that you will feel good doing it.
And yes, it is difficult to be the one always giving and not receiving but be the nicer person.

Eleanor Roosevelt wrote in her book You learn by living: Eleven Keys for a more fulfilling life:
“Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product. Paradoxically, the one sure way not to be happy is deliberately to map out a way of life in which one would please oneself completely and exclusively. After a short time, a very short time, there would be little that one really enjoyed. For what keeps our interest in life and makes us look forward to tomorrow is giving pleasure to other people.”

And let me tell you this:
You are wonderful!

Thoughts on the new year

09 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by in Advice, Bucket List, Positivity

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What can I say on the last week of the year?
The Jewish new year starts on Sunday night and as usual, it is a time for reflection and contemplating the year ahead and looking back (as well as probably over analysing) the year that we left behind.
I really don’t know what happened to the past year because it just seems to have disappeared so quickly – my younger son says that it has something to do with old age but I’ll skip that idea!

This I do know:
If you are not  ‘present’ then time seems to fly by without feeling like you’ve achieved anything.  It is easy to just fall into ‘robot’ mode and get everything done that has to be done but without much enjoyment.
I’m on a mission to enjoy life more – to work harder at ticking off more of my bucket list and to find new adventures along the way.  Yes, I have to work and parent and be responsible but that is not the only thing that we are put on earth to do.
This time next year, I have to have walked with elephants, swum with dolphins or be a llama farmer (mainly because I just like the sound of that and it is probably not very likely)

I also know this:
A lot of people ask me how I cope with my job and the answer is quite simple.  I cope because I am constantly inspired by all of the people that I work with.
I am not inspired by celebrities and the rich and famous but by people who are constantly striving to better themselves and also by those that take time to make other people’s lives a little bit (or a lot) better.
Thank you for being an inspiration to me.  Everyone of you are responsible for me getting out of bed every morning and pitching up to help others.
You are all responsible for this blog being what it is because you are this blog! Thank you for that!

One of my biggest missions in my life is to stop complaining about always giving and embrace that it is my purpose in life to give.

Mother Teresa said:
“Spread love everywhere you go.
Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier”

We should all be inspired to make even just one person a little happier by being motivating, thankful and happier people – remember that hugs are free!

I wish you all peace, happiness and much health.

Living a happy, multidimensional life

05 Friday Sep 2014

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I went to an amazing conference last weekend and one of the things that really struck me about the people that I met and the speakers that I heard was that so many of those people live a multidimensional life.
By that I mean that there are people who really don’t have defined careers.
They are qualified in one thing, work in something else and then still do another thing in their “spare time”.
Sometimes, they do far more than that.
And that is on top of the usual multidimensional life that they are already living by working, being family members, belonging to a certain group or culture and somehow fitting into the world.

The more I think about this idea of being multidimensional, and of how much I do in my life, the more it sits well with me.
We spend so much time and energy trying to fit in and trying to justify that what we are doing is right.
I meet working mothers who feel guilty for not staying at home; stay at home mothers who feel guilty about not working; people who are working in careers that have nothing to do with what they have studied; people who can’t settle in one career and need to move every few years; people who are more excited by their hobbies than their jobs…
The list goes on.

We would all be so much happier if we just allowed ourselves to really do what makes us happy.  Rather than trying to fit in, or live according to other’s expectations of us.
Just be you!
Do what you want to do, create more opportunities to do the things that fulfill you and make you happy.
You may think that you don’t have the time to do these things but you will find yourself so much more energised in your life when you are happy doing things that you want to do.
You don’t need as much sleep as you think you do (6-8 hours is plenty for an adult), you don’t need to watch as much television as you think you do, you don’t need to waste time just staring out of the window wishing that your life would be better.
Do it! Create it!
You are so worthy!

Making others happy?

22 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by in Attitude, Life Lessons, self esteem

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Somebody shared this picture with me this morning on twitter:

Never making others happy
It is remarkable how true this is.
Sometimes it seems that we can do nothing right.
No matter what you do, there are people that you are just not going to please, and there are people who are going to criticise you for whatever you do.
And even if you do succeed in what you are doing, you may still be the ‘wrong’ race, the ‘wrong’ religion, the ‘wrong’ gender in somebody else’s opinion.
You might be too slow, you could be too fast, too fat, too thin….

First of all you need to understand where that criticism is coming from.  Is it really about you?
People who are unhappy with themselves will always criticise others to make themselves feel better. Know that the majority of the time, it is about them and not you.
Then, you need to take a good look at yourself and if you feel that you are doing the right thing, you need to keep doing it, no matter what anybody else says.
And if you are doing the wrong thing, maybe you need to do the wrong thing your way because that is that only way that you are going to learn – from forging your own direction rather than just taking everybody else’s advice.

We live in a world that is so strongly influenced by media and social media in particular.
But most of what you see is just an edited version of somebody’s life and opinions.  People are only going to show their best pictures and tell their best stories because they can.
That means that instead of getting upset because your life is not “up to standard” compared to others or you are not doing the same as others, think about yourself and what you are trying to achieve and what you are all about.
You are far more intelligent, way more beautiful, and abundantly more blessed than you realise!

Start off positively

17 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by in Attitude, Creativity, Gratitude, Mindfulness, Positivity

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The thing about new year is that it isn’t really that different from the old year.
Is there really a huge difference from the 31st of December to the 1st of January?  It is just the next day…
What it can do though is give us the opportunity to have a definable date for changing our attitudes and for correcting mistakes that we made in the past.
My mission for this year is to try to find something positive about every single day. No matter how challenging or miserable that day is.

I have signed up to the 100 Happy days challenge.
The challenge is to take a photograph of what makes you happy every day for 100 days!
The thing that I like about the challenge is that it not only makes you look for positive things but forces you to slow down to appreciate it when you have to stop to take a photo.  I know that I often admire something or notice something but I just hurry on by without stopping to just breathe in the moment.
If you want to join me, that would be great! You can even share your happy moments here.  I commit to sharing more happy moments with you too.
You can sign up at : http://100happydays.com/

If you are not into photography and want to try something different, here’s another idea: A friend of mine bought a nice glass jar and she is writing positive messages every morning and putting them into the jar.
Somebody else bought a diary that was way too pretty to use for work and she committed to writing a positive entry in every lunch time.
Although I don’t think that there is such a thing a too pretty for work – we all need a pretty moment at work too.
My husband has taken to singing Monty Python songs to voice his appreciation.
Whatever you decide to do, do it! Choose something conventional or something unique that is going to make you appreciate what you have more and be more happy!

Let me know what you are going to do to be happier. I look forward to sharing your ideas!

Random acts of happiness and gratitude

29 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by in Gratitude, Positivity, Projects

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Inspired by the great Happsters and their Happy note a day challenge – www.happsters.com – I decided to start a new project this week.

I made thank you cards and decided to distribute them (with a lollipop) to people that I thought really deserved them – people who did great jobs but often don’t get acknowledged or even noticed for the work that they do.

blog pics 001I gave them to cleaners and security guards. I gave them to nurses, policemen and receptionists.

The response was really great and some people were so touched that they were being recognised (and who doesn’t like some positive feedback with a little gift added?)

blog pics 002The added benefit for me, and one that I didn’t even count on, was the effect that it had on me! Firstly, it feels good to give and to make somebody’s day. But more importantly for me, I am not a fan of Mondays so I decided to start my project on a Monday morning. I had something to look forward to – a new project to get my week going instead of the usual Monday routine.

Ultimately it was so, so worth it and I am certainly going to continue – so smile at me and you may just find yourself a recipient of my happiness and gratitude gift!