Tag Archives: illness

Chocolate cake cure

18 Thursday May 2017

Posted by in Advice, Anxiety, Chocolate yeah!, Depression, Food for the soul, Illness, Life Lessons, Recipes

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My 13 year old son has an autoimmune illness and he deals with frequent anxiety.
It is a constant battle for him to deal with his issues and he swears that chocolate cupcakes still warm out of the oven are a cure-all for a bad day.

This is what he writes:
How chocolate cake makes everything better

When you are feeling down or depressed and you need something to make you feel better – eat chocolate cake.  Cold, warm, hot, all of them are delicious.  Every bit of soft, spongy, rich chocolatey taste gives you the sensation where the taste is so good that you enter your own space.  It is like the world of stress doesn’t exist and all of your problems and worries are gone.  Afterwards you can focus on your work, your mission, your goal.
Life lesson: Eat Chocolate Cake!

I can’t argue with him even if I am not the world’s greatest chocolate cake lover.  But just spending a few minutes calmly enjoying something that you love is going to make a big difference.  Particularly if you are becoming overwhelmed by stress and anxiety.  You are seriously not going to get anything done while you are panicking.
Rather watch your manager’s expression while you sip your tea and eat your snack as they stare you down expecting your deadline to be met yesterday (don’t tell them I said this…)

So here is my son’s favourite chocolate cake recipe.  It sounds crazy but that is because it is called a crazy cake but trust me on this.  It is a fast and easy way to make cake.  You can make it into one large cake (enough to share with everyone in the office) or make 24 cupcakes – freeze them all and take one out each day to pop into your lunch box….

3 cups flour
2 cups white sugar (stop right here if you are diabetic or a health food fanatic)
1 teaspoon of salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
½  cup cocoa powder

Mix all of these ingredients into a large bowl and then make three wells and add:
¾ cup sunflower oil
2 tablespoons vinegar (really!)
2 teaspoons vanilla essence or extract (or be daring and use a different flavouring – I’m quite partial to caramel)
Put each one into a well (don’t worry if they overflow or the wells collapse.  It works anyway)
Top the whole mix with 2 cups of water and mix well until there are no lumps (I do this in a mixer but you can do it by hand)
Pour into a prepared cake tin (or in a foil roasting tin that you can just throw away when the cake has been eaten) or into 24 cupcake cases (put them in muffin tins because the mixture is really runny)

Bake at 180 C for about 40 minutes for a cake and 25 minutes for cupcakes

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Big small blessings

09 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Gratitude, Illness

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In a rough moment this week I was feeling very sorry for myself because my son was so sick… again.
So I was in the pharmacy… again and looking pathetically at a mother with her daughter picking out shampoo.  And I had a moment of jealousy (and anger) that they could be doing such a ‘normal’ thing when I spend so much time in doctor’s rooms and queuing for medication at the pharmacy.
Then I turned around and the woman behind me was with her really ill daughter who was recovering from heart surgery!
I very quickly shut up my pity party anthem that was playing in my head and wanted to cry at how lucky I am that although my son is ill, he doesn’t have a life threatening illness.
I got home feeling more peaceful and just wanted to hug the boy – except that he told me to give him space and let him concentrate on his very important game of Plants vs Zombies (I have no idea….)

It would do us all well to remember that our lives may be far from perfect but they are far more perfect than somebody else’s.
Be grateful for the blessings you have – even though they may seem small, they are huge to another person.

Appreciating breathing

23 Thursday Feb 2017

Posted by in Advice, Illness, Life Lessons

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I have been absolutely knocked down this week with bronchitis which made my asthma flair up as an added (no frills) bonus.
So I have to nebulise twice a day which means sitting still for 15 minutes, twice a day with a mask on my face doing deep breathing (and no talking).  Those of you who know me know that I never sit still – or if I do sit still, I’m usually doing something while I am sitting still.
Every time somebody tells me to breathe deeply and just be still and meditate for a few minutes, I reply to them that it is impossible for me to do that – I can’t sit still (or keep quiet but that’s another discussion for another day).
And now I am forced to do that – and I can’t even fold laundry while I’m doing it (yes, I tried!).

So now thanks to an illness, I am a convert to quietly sitting and breathing and I really think that once I don’t have rely on that horrible machine, I am going to carry on doing it anyway and call it meditation. I think it can be done and I would encourage everyone to just take a few minutes for silent breathing.

Life works in strange ways – sometimes you go through something bad or uncomfortable in order to learn something good.
I often preach that message but it is not until I actually experience it that I can really appreciate it.  I hate getting bronchitis but I cannot even start to tell you how much I appreciate a simple thing like being able to breathe when I get better.
And I never knew that I could meditate until I had to nebulise.  As horrible as these experiences are, they definitely leave us with a lesson.
The most responsible people who manage their finances well are often those who have been in debt.  Great relationships can come out of hurtful experiences.  Brilliant leaders are mostly people who have had to overcome a lot of obstacles.

Find grace in your own experiences and the lessons that you can gain from them.
You never know that you can do something until you are forced to and hopefully you will never have to look back from here.

Saying hello to your illness

20 Wednesday May 2015

Posted by in Advice, Being brave, Depression, Mental health

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I haven’t quoted Elizabeth Gilbert for a long time and then somebody asked me why they had depression and when I tried to answer them, something that Ms Gilbert wrote in Eat Pray Love came to mind.  In this section of the book, she is in Italy trying to start afresh with her life when Depression suddenly finds her where she least expects it:

“Depression and Loneliness track me down after about ten days in Italy.  I am walking through the Villa Borghese one evening after a happy day …….. and I get to thinking a little too much, and then my thinking turns to brooding, and that’s when they catch up with me.
They come upon me all silent and menacing like Pinkerton Detectives, and they flank me – Depression on my left, and Loneliness on my right.  They don’t need to show me their badges.  I know these guys very well.”

Whether it is depression or anxiety, migraines or any chronic illness, these illnesses have the ability of hitting you when you least expect it.
What doesn’t help is getting angry and frustrated and constantly asking “why me?” and “why now?” and crying that it is not fair.
Yes, it is not fair! But what are you going to do about it?  You are not going to change it.
Acceptance is a difficult thing but when you reach a level of acceptance, it is far easier to work on being the best you that you can be rather than letting whatever your illness is determine who and what you can be.

When your illness pops in for a visit, invite it in for tea but don’t let it stay for too long.  It is literally about saying – I recognise you and I see you are here but you do not determine who I am and you do not stop me from living my life.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help or to say “I am not coping right now”
Illness is NOT a sign of weakness – it just happens to be the challenge that you have right now.
And that amazing, awesome person that you are is still there – don’t ever lose sight of that!

What can you learn from being sick?

06 Wednesday May 2015

Posted by in Advice, Illness, Life Lessons, Mental health

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This week I have been floored by high blood pressure which is now getting treated so I’m already feeling like a brand new person.
I spent some quality time feeling really sorry for myself for being sick and not able to keep up with my usual frenetic pace.
Though one day while moping on the couch, I suddenly had clarity that no matter what kind of illness you have – whether it is mental or physical, chronic or acute, life threatening or not, there are a few things that you really need to do (or not do) to help you through:

  • If you don’t get it done, there is a high probability that the world will not end.  Even though you may be a perfectionist, some things can be left for another time (or done by another person).  Thanks to Uber for the wonderful trips to work – I even treated myself to a luxury ride on Monday morning just because I thought that I deserved it and it definitely made Monday a lot better.
  • Your health always, always comes first.  Don’t put yourself at risk because you feel that you need to please other people or keep up with other people’s expectations.  You are allowed to say that you just don’t feel well enough to get something done.  If people don’t respect that, they are not worth the energy that you are prepared to give to them.
  • Don’t be fight the illness.  Even a cold makes you feel that you are never going to be well again and you can become miserable and feel sorry for yourself.  I believe that illness is often a way of your body forcing you to slow down because you need it.  Don’t fight that!
  • Eat when you are hungry, sleep when you need to, rest, rest, rest and then rest some more.
  • Be gentle on yourself – you are not a failure if you get sick.  Bodies get sick, minds get sick.  Unless you deliberately did something to make yourself sick (and I sincerely hope that you didn’t), you can’t do much to avoid it.  Stop being angry at yourself.
  • Sometimes you are not going to have control over life.  There is nothing like getting sick to teach you that things are not always going to go your way.  Let it go!

A flying blog

13 Sunday Apr 2014

Posted by in Advice, Life Lessons, Stress

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So this is the first time that I’ve written a blog from a plane, so we will call it a flying blog.  And written with a muse too- a man called Marcus who happened to be sitting next to me on the flight and needed to read this over my shoulder while I was writing – hello Marcus!
Usually I’m much more grounded!
In more than one sense of the word. Usually I’m more responsible and my role is to be provider and caregiver and of course therapist.
While I missed my family and yes, even my patients, I have enjoyed spending time not having to answer to anyone, not having any routine or having to plan ahead much.  It has been great although I’m not sure that I could maintain the gypsy lifestyle for much longer.  Actually, I couldn’t take it another day!  So here I am on my way home…
I have learned so much on this trip.
I have learned that I can walk further than I thought I could, with less food in my body than I thought I needed (and no chocolate).
It is quite amazing how much it is actually possible to do in a different environment.
What is most different is that there is a lack of stress.
I know that I am meant to be a stress expert but it was truly amazing to be able to recognise how much healthier I was when I was in a stress free environment and how much stress affects my health on a day to day basis.

We are constantly pushing ourselves to achieve endless goals, we are always under pressure. It is no wonder that so many people end up consulting me who have no idea how stressed they were until they were really ill.  Yes I’m talking about admission to the psychiatric ward.
We all need to listen to our bodies, to really pay attention to the signs and symptoms that are our constant companions that should really not be there at all.
You should not have headaches all of the time.  Constant neck tension is not normal.  Changes in appetite, sleep and mood are huge warning signs that something is not OK.
Don’t accept ill health as the norm.  Don’t keep running to the doctor for medication when there is a good chance (yes, admit it!) that you are stressed, burned out and anxious.

You only have one life. Make it worth it because you are worth it.
You deserve happiness and health.
You really do!

You will move on

17 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by in Advice, Coping skills, Fear

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So today I want to talk about something close to my heart (and body too I guess).
I often talk about living in the moment and not worrying about the past and the future.  Good?
So far, so good.
There is one problem with living in the moment, and that is if that moment is a tough one, it is very difficult to imagine ever moving on.
This week, I was knocked out by a “nasty” ailment and I felt so miserable and so sorry for myself.
I truly thought that I was never going to recover.  And then suddenly on Wednesday morning, I woke up feeling a bit better – what a difference in my mood and attitude!

When you are sick, you start to imagine that you are never going to get better.
A pain filled day leads you to believe that you are going to be in pain for the rest of your life.
And a lot of people that I treat who have depression find it hard to believe that they will ever feel ‘normal’ again.  They believe that they will feel sad forever.
And one of the most difficult things to ever imagine overcoming is grief.  When grief consumes you, it seems impossible that you are ever going to get over this sad, sad stage of your life.  And you can never imagine moving on without your loved one.

Let me tell you this.  You will get over it!
Don’t question how you are going to cope.  You will cope!  It is not easy to understand that, but you will. Everybody does.
Don’t allow pain, whether it is physical or emotional, to make you fearful.
Do the best that you can within the situation, put one foot in front of the other.
You don’t have to get everything done, you don’t have to get anything done.
Ask for help, talk about how you are feeling.
Accept that other people may not have a clue about what you are going through.
But you will get through this.
If nobody overcame their difficulties, I would not be doing the job that I do, and this blog certainly wouldn’t exist.  Just the fact that you are reading this means that you believe that things are going to get better and they will.

And if you’re still not sure, then read this quote by Michael Jordan:
“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”