Tag Archives: positive attitude

Find the good

30 Thursday Mar 2017

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This week has truly been a world class horrible one.
I mean horrible!
But despite all of the horrible things, there have been such amazing moments too.  There have been people who have been so kind.  There has been amazing support and care.
And there have been ‘coincidences’ that have been nothing short of miraculous – the kind of things that make me believe that there has to be some kind of higher power intervening at some point.
Nobody should have to go through horrible things and nobody deserves to go through difficult times.  I don’t, and you don’t.
But if you can look beyond the difficulties and the hardships and notice the amazing things, you feel a little bit better and a little bit brighter.  Good things do happen in bad times.  You just need to learn to look for them.
No, you are not here to be punished.
No, bad things don’t always happen to you.
Yes, you deserve a better life but if you open your eyes, you realise that there is a little spark of greatness in everything that happens.
Just believe it.

 

Trying a more positive style

20 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Being brave, Gratitude, Positivity

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I’m sure that you can all imagine that I spend a lot of my day listening to people moaning about their lives.
There are countless people who feel sorry for themselves and you don’t need to be a therapist to be exposed to this – just spend some time on Facebook or in the break room at work, or even sitting with your family members and you will be confronted by people who complain incessantly.
The sad thing is that most of the people doing the complaining have no idea how blessed they are or how much good they actually have in their lives.

I am treating a lady at the moment who developed a meningitis infection as a result of HIV which left her blind.  After surviving that ordeal, she decided to really start living her life – she has learned how to swim, gained new skills and is always on a mission to learn new things and embrace the wonder around her.  Part of that journey is attending therapy.
I am so inspired my her story and her attitude.
To top it off, I watched a documentary about Nick Vujicic today and I think that it should be compulsory for everyone to watch or read his story.
http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/about-life-without-limbs/
How does somebody with so many limitations live a life with so much positivity and enthusiasm?
And how do people who have so much spend so much energy on negativity and moaning?

I think that Depression, Anxiety and Bipolar Mood Disorder are some of the most difficult, misunderstood illnesses to have.  And while I never expect any of my clients to be jumping up and down with the joys of life and constantly counting their blessings, I do ask them to try to focus on what they have rather than what they don’t.
I ask them to think about what they think their mission is in life and what they can learn through their own challenges.
It is difficult and challenging to be positive when it is the last thing that you feel, but understand this:
You are so wonderful, so blessed and so unique.  You could really give so much to yourself and the world if you just allow yourself do it.

Faking it

27 Wednesday May 2015

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They say that you should “fake it until you make it” and I never really  held much by that because I believe in only telling the truth.
Yet, last Monday when I was feeling truly horrible and I literally had to drag myself to work, something interesting happened.
As I walked into the building, the receptionist called me over and she said that she wanted to ask me what my secret was.
“What secret? I have no secrets…”  I said
She replied’ “why do you always look so good? You always look so happy and energetic.  I wish I had some of what you had, you must have a secret!”
I was taken aback because I really did feel horrible and I was fantasizing about being in bed, lying in the sun, being on a beach… anything other than having to be at work.
But I did make sure that I looked good before I left for work.  I had red lipstick on and caffeine gel under my eyes, layers of mascara and red shoes, I had a lovely driver to deliver me to the front door of work.
And before I walked through that door, I put on a smile and took a deep breath and started my day.  It started with a compliment on how wonderful I looked!
Obviously I am a better liar than I thought I was!
And I now really think that there is room for making yourself look good and adjusting your face into a happy look even when you don’t feel that wonderful.
The more you convince yourself that you are OK, or much more than OK, the more likely you are to believe it.  I don’t think that it is necessarily about trying to convince other people that you are anything other than you are but believing that you are better than you allow yourself to be.
I heard about interesting research that was done where a few people randomly went up to somebody who was clearly well and asked after their health with some concern.  The message they gave this person was that they didn’t look well.
The person started by saying that there was nothing wrong with them but as more people gave them negative feedback about how they looked, they started to question whether perhaps they were not actually as well as they thought they were in the first place.
They went from feeling well to feeling sick just by responding to others’ feedback.
Imagine then, the power of positive feedback and of acting wonderful even if you’re not.  If you had to tell yourself (or other people) how well you are, how amazing you are, how happy you are, even if you don’t feel that way, how brilliant would you end up feeling?
I have a feeling that it might just work!

 

10 Tuesday Feb 2015

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Wow, the last two days have been so filled with negativity at work (and that is not the clients I’m talking about – I expect depressed people to be negative).
And then today, both of my kids came home moaning about negative teachers and unfair friends.
Add to that the general feeling of negativity in the country and the community at the moment with all the load shedding that we are dealing with.
[For those of you who are reading this and are privileged enough not to know what load shedding is: our electricity supplier cuts our electricity off for 4 hours or more every few days.]
The positive side to load shedding is that South Africa has been named one of the most romantic countries in the world because everyone has candle lit dinners (drum roll please)
So it seems that we are all drowning in negativity.

And then I came across this awesome quote:
photo

It doesn’t matter how much negativity is around you, it is your choice to let that negativity in.
And you choose to allow it to get you down.
Or, you choose to rise above the negativity.
In which case, you have two choices here – either you can care less (but don’t allow yourself to get stressed by doing so) or you can continue to be positive and hard working and true to yourself and not allow the negative influences around you to affect your amazing self.
I know that you are worth a lot more than the negative feedback or the negative attitude that you are getting.  Just believe in you!

You have choices

21 Friday Feb 2014

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This story was doing the rounds and I have no idea if it is true or not but here it is:

My friend Jerry was one of the most positive people I had ever known. He was always in a good mood and always had something encouraging to say.

He was a manager at a restaurant. If his employee had a bad day, Jerry always helped him to look on the positive side of the situation.

Jerry‘s attitude truly amazed me. So one day I asked him: “How can you be so positive all the time?” He replied:”You see, every morning I tell myself, that I have two choices for that day – to be in a good mood or in a bad. I choose the good one. And when something wrong happens, I can be sad and angry or I can learn from it instead. I choose to learn. Thus I choose the positive side of life”. I said: “It is not that easy”. He replied: “Yes it is. Life is all about choices. You can choose how people or situations will affect your mood, your life”.

One morning Jerry left the restaurant‘s back door open and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. He tried to open the safe, but his hands shook due to nervousness and he slipped off the combination. So the robbers shot him. Fortunately, Jerry was quickly found and brought to the nearest hospital. After many hours of surgery and long intensive care, Jerry was released home.

When I met him, I asked, what were his thoughts during the robbery. “I thought that I should have locked the back door”, he replied. “Then, when I laid on the floor, I remembered about my choices in this case: a choice to live and a choice to die. I chose to live.”

I asked, if he were scared. Jerry continued: “When they wheeled me into emergency room and I looked at the faces of doctors, I got truly scared. I knew, that I need to do something. So when the nurse asked me, if I was allergic to anything, I replied “Yes” Doctors and nurses stopped working as waited for my answer. I took a deep breath and yelled “Bullets”. They started laughing and I asked: “My choice is to live, operate me as I am alive, not dead”.

Now Jerry is alive owing to skills of his doctors, however his amazing attitude played an important role too. I learned from him, that every day we should choose to live fully no matter what.

I know that some of you reading this have had to make such a choice – one of life and death.  And you are still here, reading this – a true survivor.  For the rest of you – may you never have to be faced with such choices.
No matter what we go through in our lives, we always have a choice.
We may not have a choice about what happens to us but we always have a choice on how to deal with it.
You have the ability to deal with everything in a more positive, optimistic way.
And when you choose to be positive – you will really start to shine because you can do this, you can get through this.
Just choose to do it!

Smile! It really can make a difference

14 Thursday Nov 2013

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I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time this week speaking to call centre agents.
Actually let’s be honest, I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time this week shouting at, pleading with and arguing with call centre agents.
Firstly, I have nothing against call centre agents, and if you are one, you have my utmost respect because I think that it is honestly one of the hardest jobs in the world – especially if you have to deal with impatient people like me.
The thing is that when I make that call, I am usually stressed because I need to sort out something that isn’t working – otherwise I wouldn’t be needing to call in, would I? And that makes me a little bit intolerant and irritable to start with, but if you are rude to me, then that is not going to help to resolve the issue much is it?

What is amazing is that there is such a difference between the way I have been treated by the people that I have spoken to this week.  Some people are so polite and helpful and others are just downright rude and show little interest in trying to help me.

It is said that how people treat you is a direct result of how they feel about themselves.
So that leads me to believe that a call centre agent who is rude to me, has got issues that have got absolutely nothing to do with me.  And the important thing is that when I put the phone down, I don’t take the negative service that I received personally. And I definitely shouldn’t say that the entire company is terrible or that they generally give poor service because of one person’s attitude.

How often do we take it so personally when people treat us badly or insult us?
Unless you know that you had done something to irritate that person – deliberately or non-deliberately – it is NOT about you!
Your happiness or friendliness might even irritate that person because they feel so low about themselves that your good mood threatens them, or makes them jealous.
Rather than worry about how others treat you – spend your energy looking inwards.
Look at how you treat others.  Focus on how you feel about yourself and how you would like others to feel when they are around you.

So, here’s my “revenge” plan and I’ve put it to good use today:
Treat everyone that you meet with respect;  treat strangers like long lost friends; smile at everyone;  ask somebody how they are and stop to really listen to the answer.
Yes, there may be negative, miserable people that we are going to encounter in our lives, but there are also people whose lives you may touch and even change – just by being you!