Tag Archives: self esteem

A new year kind of attitude

19 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by in Attitude, Change, Life journey, Moods, Positivity, Success

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I’ve spoken to so many people who have started the year with a negative attitude
With the feeling that the new year will be exactly the same as the old one because – really? What would change from the 31st of December 2017 to the 1st of January 2018?
Well truthfully nothing!
Which, depressing as it sounds, is why I don’t wait up for new year to celebrate with fireworks and loud music. I wake up on January the first and carry on with my life just the same as I had done the day before.
Because life is what you make of it.
No change in year is going to miraculously change your fortune.
You want 2018 to be great?
Make it great!
The week is dragging… Do something to make it more exciting!
Your job is terrible? Look for a new one or enjoy moments in your job – like packing up at the end of the day and going home or having coffee with your colleagues.

We cannot control what happens to us but we can absolutely control how we react to it and what we do about it. That is why you will find people in really trying circumstances who are really positive and people who seem to have it all that never stop complaining (shame).
Attitude is everything.
So I won’t wish you a happy new year or a successful new year, I wish you continued wisdom, bravery, courage, commitment and self belief.
I wish you confidence, a sense of humour in the hard times and new journeys starting today!
I look forward to continuing to share my journey with you.

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Fighting mediocrity

02 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by in Advice, Being brave, Freedom, Positivity, self esteem

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mediocre
ˌmiːdɪˈəʊkə/
adjective

  1. of only average quality; not very good.

Mediocre is my worst word – I hate the idea of mediocrity.  I think it is because being mediocre shows no commitment.  It is neither good nor bad, just in the middle.
I truly believe that people who are the most stressed are the least mediocre people.  You get stressed because you are passionate about something and often people stand in your way.
They stand in your way because they are comfortable with their mediocrity and your passion, excitement and commitment are a serious threat to their comfort zone.  If you are not strong enough in your self belief, you will find it easy just to fall back and join the mediocre people.
Please don’t.
You are so amazing, interesting and unique.  You have so much to offer.  Don’t let anybody else destroy that!
Stop trying to fit in to please other people.
Start asserting your right to be an individual.
You are wonderful just as you are!great-spirits

Who is to blame for our falls?

08 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Freedom, self esteem

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On Monday, we had no electricity in our area for a few hours (a few too many).  The sun had set, it was getting dark and in my wisdom I decided that was the ideal time to hang washing (don’t ask – there is no logic to be found here).
Because I couldn’t really see what I was doing, I didn’t realise that I had been dropping water all over my tiled floor until I slipped in the water and had a very non-graceful fall.  I still have a big bruise on my leg to prove it, although my ego was more bruised than my knee.
I sat on the floor in the puddle, crying in pain and frustration and I needed to blame someone – so of course I blamed City Power for my fall.  After all, if I had been able to turn on the lights, I would have noticed the puddle and I wouldn’t have fallen.
That makes sense! Does it?
Not at all!
No matter how dark it was – I was the one carrying wet washing over a tiled floor.  Then that makes it 100% my responsibility.

Every day I spend time with people who give me long lists filled with who is to blame for their problems.  They spend so much energy being angry and blaming that they absolutely do not see the role that they play in their circumstances.
Today I had somebody tell me “if you don’t sort out my manager then I am going to get sick!”
Huh?
The truth is that if they don’t do something to change their situation, then they are going to get sick.  No matter how terrible the manager is, there is nothing that you can do to change this person.  You can only change yourself and how you deal with your issues.

As soon as you realise this and take the control back, you will feel much more empowered.
You are the manager of your own life.  You can have control of your destiny.
Yes, it is difficult when somebody is blocking your way but you have to be the one to take the different path.

Keep being wonderful!

The benefit of creativity

13 Wednesday Apr 2016

Posted by in Creativity, Mindfulness, Positivity, Projects, Quiet and slow, self esteem

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It’s the April slump.  The holidays are a distant memory, the Easter long weekend is over and for us in the Southern hemisphere, winter is on its way.
So to try to make an effort to make life more interesting and give me something to look forward to, I signed up for an art course.
I was initially cautious about doing a course that would require at least an hour of work a day – an hour that I wasn’t sure that I had to spare.
But I signed up anyway and hoped for the best.

And it has been the best thing that I have done in a long time.
It is amazing how I have managed to find time that I didn’t know existed – it is never a full hour but a few minutes a few times a day adds up.  It seems that watching TV is not that important (and neither is doing the dishes).
I always go on about the therapeutic value of creativity but I often ignore the importance of taking the time to do it myself.  Just sitting quietly with my paintbrushes (and generally making a mess) has been so good for me.
One of the most important things about this course for me has been the fact that I have had the opportunity to meet like-minded people.  People who will tell me how wonderful my art work is, even though I am clearly not an artist.  There is not one bit of negativity around.  Even when someone is really not that good, they still are praised for trying and for their effort.
It has been so good for my self esteem – all that positive feedback can do no harm at all!

So, over to you.  I’d like you to try out some of the beneficial things that I have gained from doing this course.
Your project for this week is either to:

  1. Make some time to create something – it does not have to be a work of art but it does have to be something different to what you usually do.
  2. Find a few people to compliment.  You don’t have to lie, or bend the truth.  Just look for something good in a few good people and tell them what you see.  It gives you the opportunity to spread love and boost somebody else’s self esteem
  3. Find a course where you can learn a new skill or develop a skill that you have neglected because you are too busy being responsible
  4. Do all of the above!

I look forward to hearing what you are up to.

You ARE wonderful!

08 Wednesday Jul 2015

Posted by in Attitude, Positivity, self esteem

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A friend of mine has been feeling down because her high school reunion is coming up and when she looks at what everyone else is doing with their lives, it makes what she is doing seem insignificant.
Personally I think that she is an absolute superhero – she is an amazing and creative mother who has had some huge changes in her life that she gracefully survives.
But that doesn’t seem to be as great as the “super successful” people that she went to school with.

When my school reunion came up, I refused to go because my past is exactly that – the past!  And if I was really interested in people that I went to school with, I would still be in touch with them.  We moved in different directions and I was quite ok to let them go. (Let’s not even speak about the fact that I was in total denial that it had been 25 years since I left school)

We are totally surrounded by information all the time that tells us that we are not good enough.  Whether it is through social media where people have a need to tell everyone how wonderful they are or even if we are exposed to messages in mainstream media that tell us that our hair is not shiny enough (if I am to believe every single advert that gets blasted at me whenever I watch a video on YouTube), we don’t drive the right car, of course we bank with the wrong bank, eat the wrong food and go to the wrong places.  And the powers that be want us to come over to their (obviously) good side.
How are you meant to keep your self esteem in tact after all of that?

How about letting go of all of the negative messages?
Why not stop comparing yourself to other people?
You are perfectly amazing just the way you are and you have value to give. You are special and talented in your own way.
You have your own unique story to tell and it is worth telling!

“Your life is a story…. Make yours a best seller!”

Low self esteem from social media

21 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by in Quiet and slow, self esteem

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I know that this is going to sound crazy – especially since some of you are reading this on Facebook and that my friends call me the “Facebook queen” but I do not like social media.
I’m on it all the time and I have a fear of missing out but I don’t like it.
And I certainly believe that there is an important place for social media in terms with connecting with people who are important to you and sharing information.
But, last week, I was not online at all for three consecutive days and I didn’t miss anything!
Miraculously the world continued to rotate, Facebook didn’t shut down without me and Torvill and Dean didn’t get married!

In our fast paced, instant gratification kind of world that we live in, we often feel that we have so little time and are often thankful for all of the technology that assists us in our lives.  But when that technology starts to control us and actually ends up taking even more of our time it becomes problematic.

Most social media just represents an edited version of people’s lives.
You’re not exactly going to post ugly pictures of yourself or talk about the negative things that are happening in your life (unless you are looking for attention and wanting people to comment on how much they feel sorry for you).
People post their best photos, their favourite stories and their achievements. They tell you what a wonderful life they are leading, often with the pictures to prove it.
Is this real life?
Not at all.
People don’t even speak spontaneously anymore. Rather, they think about what they want to say, and how they think that people will interpret it and then present a highly edited version of their original thought.
And where does that leave you when you are already feeling stressed or depressed?
It makes you feel inadequate or inferior.
It makes you feel that you don’t do enough, or achieve enough or live an exciting enough life.

If you are stressed or overwhelmed by what you see others doing or by how you feel others are judging you, take a break from it. I promise you that you’ll feel better for it.
Let me tell you this: Your life is so important!
What you do is valuable and meaningful!
Don’t ever get caught up in the belief that you are worth less than somebody else.
Be true to yourself, live in the moment and continue to be blessed by what you do have.

Be YOU!

16 Friday May 2014

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, self esteem

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We are in the dreaded time of the year of Parent Teacher conferences.  I dread them because of course I think that my kids are wonderful and I fear hearing something different – which is bound to happen.
We were fortunate to hear only good things about my son this week, but I am not convinced that things are going to go as well next week, when it is my younger son’s chance.
He doesn’t necessarily do things the way that his teachers would like things done.
There is always a huge pressure to be the perfect parent with a wonderful child.
Yet no two people are alike, no matter how they are brought up.  Everybody has their own unique talent and it is not necessarily going to be recognised or understood.
I frequently have to remind myself of this fact.

We have this need to do things correctly, to be as perfect as possible, to fit in with the crowd or what is considered the norm.
We constantly seek validation from others to see that we are on the “right” path.  We want recognition and acknowledgement and often the material payback too – an increase in salary, a promotion, an award wouldn’t really be amiss would it?

You have to understand that success is not material.
You can be brilliant without the reward, you can excel without the recognition.
Yes, it is not easy but you don’t need validation from anyone!
You have a divine and unique purpose and there are going to be people in your life who don’t realise or appreciate that.
It doesn’t matter!
You are perfectly imperfect just the way that you are.
You are talented and skilled in your own way.  You do not need anybody to recognise that but rather you need to nurture yourself – praise yourself, make decisions that work for you.
Look for the best in you rather than compare yourself to others.
Once you do this, you will notice a sense of calm in your life – a sense of acceptance and you will feel amazing for it!

These boots were made for dancing

13 Thursday Jun 2013

Posted by in Attitude, Freedom, Life journey, Moods, self esteem

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Let me tell you about the one thing that I love about winter…
Boots! And coats! OK, that’s two things and that is two of my (many) weaknesses.
I am not a fan of the cold – which is an interesting thing for an ex-skater to say, I know – but I love the opportunity that it gives me to get out my boots and my coats.  Those are the things that sit at the back of my cupboard and I stare longingly at all through summer.
I have brown boots and I have black boots but the boots that I love most are bright, bubble gum pink.  They are most likely totally inappropriate for somebody my age but they make me feel young and happy.  They make me feel like dancing.
I read a great quote this week by Harry Winston who said, “People will stare.  Make it worth their while.”
So if people stare at my pink boots, I’ll flaunt them!  And maybe I’ll even add a little skip to my step.
We should all take the time to enjoy the little things in life.  I promise you that if I am in a bad mood, I almost instantly feel better when I am wearing those boots.  And I won’t even go into what happens when I wear my red coat.

Don’t worry about what people say about you;  or how they look at you;  or how they treat you.
You are ‘you-nique’ and you should not be afraid to be different.
There is room for every individual in this world.  And that includes you!
People will only stare or talk or wonder because they are intimidated by your intelligence, your experience, your knowledge, your beauty or just  your sheer brilliance.
And the only reason that they are intimidated is because they doubt themselves.  It is their own low self esteem that is the problem.  Not yours!
Go out, be you.
And enjoy it!