Tag Archives: success

Aim high

23 Thursday Jun 2016

Posted by in Attitude, Being brave, Positivity

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I am not a fan of politics and would rather not say much political here…
But why do we often think that our country’s leaders are idiots and we question how somebody like them got into such a high position.
Look at the positive side – why not?
Why should somebody not believe that they could be so great that they could rule a country?  What makes somebody believe that they can be anything so big and so wonderful?
Maybe we are not meant to be presidents (I’m certainly not cut out for the job – too stressful and too much responsibility) but we can aim as high as we wish.  The difference between you and somebody really successful or powerful is that they believed that they could do it.
Believe that you can do it too.
Believe that you can be the most incredible, successful and content person that you can be in your life.  Know that you can be an inspiration to your family, your friends and your community.
You may not change the world but you can change your world.
And today is as good a day as any to start!

michelangelo quote

Making failure work

14 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Self growth

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This week has been awful so far.  It seems that there is bad news followed by more bad news and then horrific news.
I was actually going to write about some of this news but I’ve decided that we all need a break from bad news.
There is, however, one huge thing that we can learn from all of this bad news, and that is that we should really count our blessings.  I’ve seen tweets today from people narrowly missing (by seconds) the collapse of a bridge and a woman who was late for work and because of it, she missed being hit by a car that ran into the bus stop that she should have been standing at.
Today is a good day to take a deep breath and really focus on how lucky we are to have what we have, to be alive and even to be able to take that deep breath.

So, onto lighter things (and South Africans, please remember to keep everything in perspective this weekend – this is a lighter thing) – the Rugby World Cup.
This is the tournament where South Africa lost their first match against Japan.
People were disappointed in the team and a lot of people lost faith in the team’s ability to even win another game.  Predictions were that we would be knocked out of the World Cup in the first round.
But where did we end up after the first round of matches?
At the top of our group!
I have a very strong feeling that if we had not lost that match against Japan, we may not have continued to play in the tournament so well.

Sometimes you need to fail or to lose in order to build yourself up.
You really do not have any idea how amazing you are and what a survivor you are until you are tested.
We don’t want to be tested and we don’t want to fail because failure is generally seen as a bad thing.  Stop seeing it like that!
Failure is an opportunity to learn, to grow and to succeed.
Count your blessings that you have the opportunity to fail, because one day you will look back on this and say:
“I don’t regret a thing!”

Mental Health Awareness

01 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by in Depression, Mental health, Success

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July is over and it has been a really busy month for me.
It was Mental Health Awareness month and it has been filled with talks, meetings and events.
What I really hope comes out of all of this is that people become more tolerant.
Sometimes this world seems like it has gone crazy because there is so much intolerance. And it is bad enough that intolerance is based on religion, race or gender. But then added to all of that nonsense, there is intolerance based on a person’s illness and disability. That intolerance is what really frustrates me.
Just last week, another one of my patients lost their job because their employer was not prepared to help them by finding employment that is better suited to them (and by the way, in South Africa, it is law that employers need to find suitable employment within their company if a person is no longer functionally able to do their previous job).
And when I say patient, I’m not even meant to use that word.  We went from working with patients, to clients to mental health users!
But it doesn’t matter what word we use if those people leave our support and go into an environment where they get little or no support from others.

I can certainly try to change things, and I always make it my mission to fight for the rights of my patients and to educate others in understanding mental health.
But the best people to do this are the ones who have been diagnosed with a mental illness.
And there’s a good chance that it is you, or somebody else that you know and love.
There is nothing better than being the person who is diagnosed with bipolar mood disorder, depression or anxiety saying out confidently that they are ok with their diagnosis and are not only capable of coping in the world but are able to do even more than that.
Because you are strong, resilient survivors!

This morning I met a woman who had been diagnosed with a mental illness and who really battled to get the support that she needed.  So as soon as she was stable enough, she set up a facility that would provide others with the care that she so badly felt she needed.
That is a brilliant success story.
And it doesn’t have to be limited to just her. Or to just the brave ones out there.
Everyone of you has such potential no matter what is “wrong” with you.
When you break through all of the barriers and negative expectations that others have of you, you are truly going to be brilliant.

I look forward to hearing your success stories!

Lessons from the World Cup… so far

20 Friday Jun 2014

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Life Lessons, Success

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In our house, we are in full swing of World Cup fever.
We always have bets on pretty much everything that there is to bet on (usually with a dinner reward for the winner) and of course, the betting for a World Cup winner was hotly debated.  The big issue was if more than one person could vote for the same team to win and the team that everyone was fighting for was Spain!
Isn’t hindsight a wonderful thing? Nobody should have wasted their energy trying to pick Spain but then again, nobody could have predicted that the reigning champions would be knocked out in the first round with millions of people witnessing their downfall. (Sorry to the Spanish supporters out there).

Imagine if we knew exactly how our decisions in the present would affect our future?
We would probably do so many things differently!
But we blindly move forward, always trying our best to do what we think is best and we have no idea whether those decisions are going to work for us.
Our choices could absolutely break us down or they could be the most positive thing that we have ever decided to do.
Unfortunately, no matter what, we don’t actually know how our choices today are going to affect our tomorrow.  They could be carefully measured, thought out and calculated or they could be spur of the moment impulsive decisions but neither is guaranteed to work.

So, how do we deal with this?
Well we don’t, really.  We have to do what is best for ourselves at the time and trust that it is going to work in our best interests.  But we also have to know that it may not work out.  Either way, it is part of the journey of our lives.  To really enjoy and celebrate success – especially if it related to something that we have done for ourselves, but then to also have the ability and insight to understand that if it goes wrong, we can learn from it, we can grow from it.
It could be the building block for a very successful future if we don’t punish ourselves for our mistakes and feel sorry for ourselves.

My idols – skaters Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean are most famous for having won the Olympics in 1984 with perfect marks.  In 1994, they decided to have another go at the Olympics and everyone presumed that they would definitely win gold again.  They didn’t. They ended up with a bronze medal and a lot of people having a lot to say about that.  Most people saying that they should not have gone back to the Olympics.  The thing is though, that although it seemed that they failed (though winning a bronze medal in the Olympics is hardly a failure in my eyes), they got more support and actually seemed to become more popular.  That is using “failure” as a building block.

Keep moving forward, keep trying new things, make choices despite what other people think about your choices because whatever happens, you still win!
And… take comfort from the fact that if you don’t win, there are not millions of people watching you fai!

Braving a new door

13 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by in Advice, Being brave, Change, Life Lessons, Self growth

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I’ve spent a lot of time this week watching the Winter Olympics.
I am in awe of those athletes who get to that level of excellence.  They drive themselves to get to that level of their sport and aim for the very top.
What amazes me more though is the athletes who get to the Olympics knowing that they are not going to win medals.  They go just for the experience to be an Olympic athlete, to have the opportunity to beat their own personal records. Believe me I certainly tried, and failed, to get to that level.

How do we make it through life when we have all these wonderful goals and dreams that we can’t achieve for whatever reason?
Is that a failure?
Is it a sign that you were on the wrong path?
Or maybe you need to ‘fail’ in order to give you the much needed opportunity to grow and get out of your comfort zone.  You need to live your life and experience it to the fullest in order to reach your goals.
The thing is that your goals may be your focus but maybe it is not where you are meant to be.
I will tell you this: when my Olympic dreams started fading I thought that I would never be ok.  But once I had been miserable for a while and then picked myself up, that failed dream opened up a whole new world for me. And here I am!

Always be open to new opportunities, knock on any doors that you find and don’t ever be afraid to go through them because you may be surprised at what is on the other side!

Does failure equal success?

22 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Fear, Self growth, Success

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Og Mandino, the author of numerous books including The Greatest Salesman on Earth said, “Remind thyself, in the darkest moments, that every failure is only a step toward success, every detection of what is false directs you toward what is true, every trial exhausts some tempting form of error, and every adversity will only hide, for a time, your path to peace and fulfillment.”

We live in a world where there are so many expectations placed on us to succeed and a large amount of those expectations are from ourselves.  This crazy, unrealistic drive for perfection.
We want our relationships to always work.  We want to succeed in our careers.  We want to be brilliant parents, outstanding scholars and upstanding members of the community.  And most of all, we want to be recognised and acknowledged for all of the wonderful things that we do.  And that doesn’t leave any room for failure, or for things going wrong or not according to your great and wonderful plan.

If you believe in perfection, then there is a good chance that you believe that failure is a bad thing, something to avoid at all costs.  So, it is interesting that when Mandino was asked what the secret of success was, he answered, “You should triple your rate of failure”

When you make mistakes, you learn from them.  You learn not to be afraid of failure.  You become a stronger person when you realise that you have overcome all of the obstacles that you were so afraid of.
And of course, how do we recognise perfection if we haven’t actually seen the other side?  How do you know that something is really working if you haven’t felt what it feels like for things to be falling apart?
It is said that “a head full of fears has no space for dreams.”
So fear of failure doesn’t allow you to live those dreams, achieve those goals and stand tall through adversity.
Fear of failure keeps us in our safe comfort zones where we are stuck and frustrated and unmotivated.

Get out there! Fail! Live your life without fear because every time that you do, a seed is planted that is going to help you grow into something magnificent.

Lightbulb moments on fighting fear

27 Thursday Jun 2013

Posted by in Advice, Attitude, Fear, Life journey, Life Lessons

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While I think that a bit of fear can be a good thing – because it motivates us to get going and get things done, a lot of fear or constant fear has the ability to absolutely paralyse us.
Fear can really stop you from reaching your full potential to be the person that you are meant to be.
Fighting fear is one way of dealing with it but can be pointless and unproductive.  It is the same as if you are afraid of the dark and you try to deal with your fear by sitting in a dark room all on your own when you could just switch on a light…. Aha! A real lightbulb moment!

So here are my ”lightbulb” suggestions for dealing with fear:
1.  Do not become your fear.  It is not your personality, you are so much more than your fear.
2.  Believe in the real you, not the person that you think that you are – that is often a negative perception of yourself, that nasty little inner voice that keeps on whispering doubts in your mind.
3.  Think big!  Don’t be afraid of success, don’t be afraid of the giant in you that is waiting to burst out.
4.  Try new things.  You never know what you can or can’t do until you try.   Follow every opportunity, open new doors. You may even surprise yourself by doing things that you could not have even imagined a few years ago.
5.  Make mistakes matter.  Rather than beating yourself up about all the things that you shouldn’t have done, learn from your mistakes!  The only way you know what you can’t do is to discover that by actually doing those things.
6.  Step out of the “box”.  Whether it is your parents or your peers, your culture or your environment, or even yourself that puts you in a box, get out! Nobody belongs in a box.
7. Don’t wait for one day to get things done.  Today is just as good a time to be brave, maybe even better than ‘one day’ that  might not come.
8. Change your self talk from “no, I can’t” or “Maybe I might be able to” to “YES I CAN!”
9. Everybody started at the beginning.  If you are at the beginning and you’ve taken one step, then you are well on your way to being successful. Lots of people are afraid to even take that first step.
10.  Just remember, and always remember this: You are amazing!

The green eyed monster

17 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in Attitude, Coping skills, Positivity

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This week something wonderful and unexpected happened to me.

It was not life changing or earth shattering but it was still wonderful and I wanted to shout from the rooftops and let everybody know about this wonderful thing.

But…

The green eyed monster stares back at you

The green eyed monster stares back at you

Not a minute later, did somebody find out about it and was already giving me the third degree about it, asking me all kinds of ridiculous questions. And that was just the beginning – and I guess this is where social networking can get complicated, because I could read things that people were saying about me.

So there I was, happy as anything with not many people sharing my happiness but rather having a good old gossip about why I should be so “lucky” or the worst question in the world, the question that we can very rarely answer – “why?”

Firstly – it had nothing to do with luck – I created the opportunity myself and while I never expected a reaction to what I did, I was thrilled that there was one.

Secondly, I have no control over other people – I did what I thought was right – what felt right to me – and I had no idea how anybody would react.

I basically got a full day’s version of jealousy in all shapes and forms.  The plain truth is that if I was in somebody else’s shoes, I would have been jealous of me too.  What is jealousy all about?  It is certainly not about you, it is all about the other person.  It brings about feelings of inadequacy, anxiety and self doubt in them.  Whenever we have negative feelings towards somebody else, it is always a reflection of ourselves – our own short comings and issues with ourselves.  And it is much easier to be angry and jealous than it is to look inward and ask ourselves what we can do to be a better person.

So many of you have negative, destructive, abusive people in your lives, and there is a good chance that the only reason that they are that way is because they are jealous of you or threatened by you.

And isn’t that great news for you?

If you can look beyond the negativity and back at yourself – at your strengths and your abilities that are threatening to that person, then you can start to feel really good about yourself.

And you will come to realise that you are honoured to have people who are jealous of you – because it is a sure sign that you are doing well.  Even better, that you are doing great.

Keep on being who you are and don’t let anybody else’s opinions of you matter.  Keep on being wonderful and individual!

You are great!

Sometimes you have to go backwards in order to move forwards

15 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by in Life journey, Self growth, Shades of Grey

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Back to my Shades of Grey and the eighth one is realising that:

Sometimes you have to go backwards in order to move forwards.

 It sounds confusing and downright topsy turvy and here’s the problem:

People who have “black and white type personalities” feel that if they’re going forwards, then they are doing great and being successful;  and if they’re going backwards, then they are failing.

But what about the miles and miles of grey road between backwards and forwards?

Because we like control (sometimes even freakishly), we have a plan for what our goals should be and what we want to achieve.

And then we insist on getting to the end point, always moving forward, always having control, as fast as possible.

What if your forward is actually the wrong way?

What if backwards is the right way?

The thing is that you just don’t see it at the time.  So when you find yourself suddenly going in the “wrong direction” you start panicking because it is not part of the plan.

The plan may be for you to go backwards, it may be for you to try something new or learn a new skill through experiences that you would never have otherwise had if you were always moving “forward”.

Be open to the journey that life takes you on.

It is not always going to be enjoyable (ask me, I know) and it is not always going to be easy.  There are times when you will feel like giving up and times when you want to go back.

Be prepared to enjoy the ride because when you get to the end (no, I am not talking about death here), you will be able to see why you needed to be on that journey.

Your journey will be amazing if you just let it be!