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I don't want to be stressed

Tag Archives: why do bad things happen to good people

Find the good

30 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by Andi in Advice, Attitude, Positivity

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difficulties, Look for the helpers, Mr Rogers, overcoming problems, positive attitude, why do bad things happen to good people

This week has truly been a world class horrible one.
I mean horrible!
But despite all of the horrible things, there have been such amazing moments too.  There have been people who have been so kind.  There has been amazing support and care.
And there have been ‘coincidences’ that have been nothing short of miraculous – the kind of things that make me believe that there has to be some kind of higher power intervening at some point.
Nobody should have to go through horrible things and nobody deserves to go through difficult times.  I don’t, and you don’t.
But if you can look beyond the difficulties and the hardships and notice the amazing things, you feel a little bit better and a little bit brighter.  Good things do happen in bad times.  You just need to learn to look for them.
No, you are not here to be punished.
No, bad things don’t always happen to you.
Yes, you deserve a better life but if you open your eyes, you realise that there is a little spark of greatness in everything that happens.
Just believe it.

 

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Let mistakes go

12 Wednesday Aug 2015

Posted by Andi in Advice, Life Lessons, Self growth

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forgiveness, gentleness, hindsight, mistakes, pay for mistakes, rewriting your story, why do bad things happen to good people

I have been treating a lady for the past few weeks who was raped and is constantly beating herself up about why she chose to walk through the area that she did when it happened.  She keeps on saying that she wishes that she had decided to walk somewhere else that day.  But she didn’t and unfortunately she had a horrific and traumatic experience.

And that is just one story.  I hear stories of regret every single day.  Things like “I should never have married him, I should have known that he was abusive”,   “I don’t know why I hit him, I wish that I hadn’t”,  “I was so stupid to have believed her” and one of the most common ones “I should have insisted on him using a condom”
Unfortunately it is too late!
Yes, it is too late to change what you did.
But the thing is that if you did something ‘stupid’ or even something not so stupid that still had negative consequences, unless you know how to tell the future (and I sincerely doubt that you can), you had no idea what would happen as a result.
In simple terms:
You most likely did the best that you could at the time.
It is easy to look back with hindsight and berate yourself.  As far as I know, nobody ever ‘fixed’ the past by beating themselves up about it.
It is what it is, it was what it was.
Bad things happen to good people.

You can go a long way by forgiving yourself for doing things that you did not know or understand at the time.
You are human, you are wonderful and therefore you make mistakes.
Try your best to let it go.  Try to be more gentle on yourself.

mistakes
There is this lovely quote:
“Everyone makes mistakes in their lives, that is why pencils have erasers”
You are allowed to ‘erase’ the past and move on.
Even better, you are allowed to redraw your life story, building on what you learned from your mistakes – and this version may be even more awesome than the one that you set out to write in the first place.

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